This is the first season that I have actually followed the show Lost on a regular basis.
And I have to say that I kind of find it addictively maddening.
People can't seem to figure out if these characters are in purgatory, in heaven, in another dimesion, or on Fantasy island (I can just see Ricardo Montalban stepping out of the jungle cooing about the fabulousness of real Corinthian leather....)
And really I cannot see where this story line is going - I have this mental image of a bunch of flipped out writers, typing away madly in some Hollywood office, hoping to figure it out themselves before the network cancels the show and forces them to end the series by claiming it was all a dream, or in the imagination of an autistic boy....
Anyway, everyone has a theory, including me. I think that the series is based on the song Lost in the Supermarket by The Clash.
See if you can follow:
"I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality"
The survivors all thought they were escaping Australia - "special offer". Then they were all hiding or masking who they really are until the crash made their true personality come out "a guaranteed personality".
"I wasn't born so much as I fell out
Nobody seemed to notice me
We had a hedge back home in the suburbs
Over which I never could see"
They fell out of the sky, rescuers can't find them ("notice them") and the "hedge" is a well guarded perimeter.
"I heard the people who lived on the ceiling
Scream and fight most scarily
Hearing that noise was my first ever feeling
That's how it's been all around me"
The people on the ceiling are those weird invisible people chewing monsters that they first had to deal with that made some freaky noise.
"The kids in the halls and the pipes in the walls
Make me noises for company
Long distance callers make long distance calls
And the silence makes me lonely"
The pipes in the walls would be the hatch and the long distance caller making a long distance call is your one Naomi (I think that's her name) who parachuted in with a satellite phone.
Are you with me so far? Makes sense sort of huh.
AND there is no resolution to the song really either.
Hmmmmm....... I think I am onto something here.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Yogurt is ALIVE
My two favorite writers are Ellen Gilchrist and Laurie Colwin.
I picked up "In the Land of Dreamy Dreams" at the Goodwill this weekend, and of course read it through in one sitting instead of doing laundry as planned.
And then because it was late and I needed something quick, I turned to my favorite food writer Laurie Colwin for a little inspiration. Sadly Laurie died at the age of 48 about 10 years ago, but her writing easy and earthy and her recipes always work out for me.
Especially her yogurt recipe.
Basically it calls for bringing milk to the boil, letting it simmer for two minutes, letting it cool for about 20 minutes (or until 110 degrees), whisking in some plain yogurt (1 tablespoon yogurt to two and a half cups milk), putting it all into a glass jar, wrapping the jar in a towel or scarf (it's a yogurt babushka!), and letting it sit over the pilot light all night. In the morning stick it in the fridge and in the afternoon - TA DA - yogurt!
It's delicious stuff.
Although I will confess that first taste was the hardest. I wasn't positive that I wasn't going to be stricken with some savage yogurt food poisoning ailment that would send me to the crapper for a few days...
But I've made it twice now, and so far so good.
I picked up "In the Land of Dreamy Dreams" at the Goodwill this weekend, and of course read it through in one sitting instead of doing laundry as planned.
And then because it was late and I needed something quick, I turned to my favorite food writer Laurie Colwin for a little inspiration. Sadly Laurie died at the age of 48 about 10 years ago, but her writing easy and earthy and her recipes always work out for me.
Especially her yogurt recipe.
Basically it calls for bringing milk to the boil, letting it simmer for two minutes, letting it cool for about 20 minutes (or until 110 degrees), whisking in some plain yogurt (1 tablespoon yogurt to two and a half cups milk), putting it all into a glass jar, wrapping the jar in a towel or scarf (it's a yogurt babushka!), and letting it sit over the pilot light all night. In the morning stick it in the fridge and in the afternoon - TA DA - yogurt!
It's delicious stuff.
Although I will confess that first taste was the hardest. I wasn't positive that I wasn't going to be stricken with some savage yogurt food poisoning ailment that would send me to the crapper for a few days...
But I've made it twice now, and so far so good.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Thanks Evil Twin
I just have to say that I am so very fortunate that I have an Evil Twin who gets it when I say I kicked someone's puppy.
Who will drive me to work even if it means going to work an hour early herself.
Who will make fun of my unfortunate taste in men, but ease the pain with pitchers of Bloody Mary's.
Who has the same breakfast-for-dinner schedule as me.
Who introduces me to all the cool things I know about - especially to Friendly Toast. FRIENDLY TOAST!!! FRIEEEEEENNNNNDLY TOOOOOAST!!!!!!!!!!! And to great mascara.
Who is the only person in the world who can jolly me into good humor with coffee, a donut, and a coupla puppy kicks.
Really, life is all about winning the sibling lottery.
Makes everything, especially Mondays, SO much better.
Who will drive me to work even if it means going to work an hour early herself.
Who will make fun of my unfortunate taste in men, but ease the pain with pitchers of Bloody Mary's.
Who has the same breakfast-for-dinner schedule as me.
Who introduces me to all the cool things I know about - especially to Friendly Toast. FRIENDLY TOAST!!! FRIEEEEEENNNNNDLY TOOOOOAST!!!!!!!!!!! And to great mascara.
Who is the only person in the world who can jolly me into good humor with coffee, a donut, and a coupla puppy kicks.
Really, life is all about winning the sibling lottery.
Makes everything, especially Mondays, SO much better.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Why I like C-Span.
My first exposure to C-Span was not a great one. Quite frankly I thought it was about as boring as watching paint dry.
But now that I have a less vague understanding that what happens on C-Span will eventually trickle down into my everyday life, I am a little bit more interested.
The other week (month maybe) I was watching testimony of bee keepers in regard to the dying off of millions of bees.
Sounds so ordinary huh - but go figure that bees are generally responsible for pollination. So if there are no bees, who is going to pollinate all those crops and stuff.
All these bee keepers gave this bewildered testimony on how they couldn't figure out how all their bees were leaving the colonies and not coming back.
Read about it here: Science Daily
It's actually pretty scary, the failure of this one little insect has serious global ramifications. I guess I won't be swatting at them this summer!
But now that I have a less vague understanding that what happens on C-Span will eventually trickle down into my everyday life, I am a little bit more interested.
The other week (month maybe) I was watching testimony of bee keepers in regard to the dying off of millions of bees.
Sounds so ordinary huh - but go figure that bees are generally responsible for pollination. So if there are no bees, who is going to pollinate all those crops and stuff.
All these bee keepers gave this bewildered testimony on how they couldn't figure out how all their bees were leaving the colonies and not coming back.
Read about it here: Science Daily
It's actually pretty scary, the failure of this one little insect has serious global ramifications. I guess I won't be swatting at them this summer!
Monday, April 23, 2007
Like the swallows in Capistrano, the "birds" are back at BU
Along Storrow Drive there is this sort of bi-level grassy green embankment right at Boston University.
As soon as it is spring and the thermometer registers anything over 65 degrees, all the college girls and boys swarm the grassy banks to sunbathe within feet of this major roadway.
Let me tell you, this has the same effect on cars as that big pothole I mentioned earlier.
Drivers get distracted by all the skin glare and start swerving all over the place and into each other and slow down to about 25 miles an hour. This creates an inbound traffic mess that is often compounded by afternoon Red Sox games and then made even worse in late May/early June when the moving trucks begin jamming themselves under the BU bridge.
Hubcaps a-flying, horns a-honking - it's definitely springtime here in Beantown.
As soon as it is spring and the thermometer registers anything over 65 degrees, all the college girls and boys swarm the grassy banks to sunbathe within feet of this major roadway.
Let me tell you, this has the same effect on cars as that big pothole I mentioned earlier.
Drivers get distracted by all the skin glare and start swerving all over the place and into each other and slow down to about 25 miles an hour. This creates an inbound traffic mess that is often compounded by afternoon Red Sox games and then made even worse in late May/early June when the moving trucks begin jamming themselves under the BU bridge.
Hubcaps a-flying, horns a-honking - it's definitely springtime here in Beantown.
Crash, bang, allakazaam!!
The next time you want to have a demolition derby, rent a U-Haul van.
Turns out that if you crash into a parked car, you will get off scott-free.
That was my experience anyway - some dingaling went crash!bang!allakazaam! into the back The Shampagne Super Nova, taking the rear bumper and the tail light assembly all off.
And then took off.
The police don't do anything except take a report which seemingly goes nowhere and U-Haul was like "eh, we'll look into it and get back to you".
And the two kids driving the van were like "so long suckah!"
And I am left holding the bag, facing a car repair bill that will likely cost more than the car is worth.
Which has me thinking that glueing the bumper back on with a tube of liquid nails is not the worst idea ever.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Hub(caps) of the Universe
I was driving west on Storrow Drive today, and just before the train/BU bridge I noticed about a million hubcaps in a heap on the side of the road.
Well maybe not a million.
But enough to notice. And to maybe make a couple of bucks on Ebay for sure.
I was wondering why there was a cluster of caps, and then when I came around the bend just after the bridge I saw about 3 or 4 cars pulled over. Each one had a flat front drivers side tire.
Weird.
Then I remembered that there is a pothole that borders the median divider and the left side of the left lane.
I guess it is more of a pot-holy-hell-what-the-f*ck-was that!?!?! than an actual pothole.
Be careful out there people. And make sure you have AAA.
Well maybe not a million.
But enough to notice. And to maybe make a couple of bucks on Ebay for sure.
I was wondering why there was a cluster of caps, and then when I came around the bend just after the bridge I saw about 3 or 4 cars pulled over. Each one had a flat front drivers side tire.
Weird.
Then I remembered that there is a pothole that borders the median divider and the left side of the left lane.
I guess it is more of a pot-holy-hell-what-the-f*ck-was that!?!?! than an actual pothole.
Be careful out there people. And make sure you have AAA.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Running a marathon
Running a marathon is something I have no plans to ever try.
Running from point A to point B over a distance of 26.6 miles sounds like the opposite of fun to me, but clearly it is fun times for over 25,000 other people.
Let me tell you - I was once at the starting area for the Marine Corps marathon down in DC, and I saw people pissing just out in the open. Women, men, everyone - just pulling their running shorts to the side and peeing on the grass.
Gross.
And who can ever forget Uta Pippig running along with poop and blood running down her leg back in 1996. Ew.
This is not a sport for normal people.
But for those running the Boston Marathon today, I hope you all make times that make you happy.
Running from point A to point B over a distance of 26.6 miles sounds like the opposite of fun to me, but clearly it is fun times for over 25,000 other people.
Let me tell you - I was once at the starting area for the Marine Corps marathon down in DC, and I saw people pissing just out in the open. Women, men, everyone - just pulling their running shorts to the side and peeing on the grass.
Gross.
And who can ever forget Uta Pippig running along with poop and blood running down her leg back in 1996. Ew.
This is not a sport for normal people.
But for those running the Boston Marathon today, I hope you all make times that make you happy.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
It's never WHAT you know, it's WHO you know.
The BRA sold a piece of land worth $2,000,000 to the Islamic Society for $175,000.
That smells like vieux fromage to me.
And now a Jewish advocacy group is suing. As they should.
The BRA is the Boston Redevelopment Agency. They manage city owned property. Their transactions, especially with religious groups, should be public record.
Don't get me wrong, I am not against building a mosque.
But not when you need keep your deals with the city a secret to get the job done. It makes you look like you are trying to hide something.
That smells like vieux fromage to me.
And now a Jewish advocacy group is suing. As they should.
The BRA is the Boston Redevelopment Agency. They manage city owned property. Their transactions, especially with religious groups, should be public record.
Don't get me wrong, I am not against building a mosque.
But not when you need keep your deals with the city a secret to get the job done. It makes you look like you are trying to hide something.
Monday, April 09, 2007
I am kicking myself in the a**
This is a true story from once when the Evil Twin, a bunch of other people, and myself went camping.
We were standing in the parking lot waiting for the group to gather and Evil Twin had her hiking boots dangling off the back of her knapsack and she was swaying back and forth getting the boots to bounce off her butt.
I don't know why she was doing this and I didn't ask, the family has a don't ask/just keep watching policy which is pretty effective.
So she is bouncing the boots off her bum and she is sing-song saying "I am kicking myself in de ass. Kicking myself in de ass!" Over and over again.
And as she is doing this, there is this family piling out of a mini van beside us, with a couple of ankle-biters among them.
One of the frumpy mums comes over to Evil Twin and says: "Please don't say ass in front of my kids"
We all kind of look at this woman like she's just crapped in the punch bowl - first off we were there first, and secondly it's not like she was saying "you mutherf*ckers I am going to break your asses with my bloody boots! Gaarrrr!!!!"
Then we look at Evil Twin because this is her rumble and one nod from her and we'd gladly throw the woman a Dorchester Sneakah Pahty.
But the Evil Twin is still bouncing the boots off her bum, only now she is saying: "I am kicking myself in de anus! Kicking myself in de rectum! La la la la laaa lah la"
Which, from the looks of Frumpy Mum, is not what she had in mind!
We were standing in the parking lot waiting for the group to gather and Evil Twin had her hiking boots dangling off the back of her knapsack and she was swaying back and forth getting the boots to bounce off her butt.
I don't know why she was doing this and I didn't ask, the family has a don't ask/just keep watching policy which is pretty effective.
So she is bouncing the boots off her bum and she is sing-song saying "I am kicking myself in de ass. Kicking myself in de ass!" Over and over again.
And as she is doing this, there is this family piling out of a mini van beside us, with a couple of ankle-biters among them.
One of the frumpy mums comes over to Evil Twin and says: "Please don't say ass in front of my kids"
We all kind of look at this woman like she's just crapped in the punch bowl - first off we were there first, and secondly it's not like she was saying "you mutherf*ckers I am going to break your asses with my bloody boots! Gaarrrr!!!!"
Then we look at Evil Twin because this is her rumble and one nod from her and we'd gladly throw the woman a Dorchester Sneakah Pahty.
But the Evil Twin is still bouncing the boots off her bum, only now she is saying: "I am kicking myself in de anus! Kicking myself in de rectum! La la la la laaa lah la"
Which, from the looks of Frumpy Mum, is not what she had in mind!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
I know how Keith feels
Turns out that Keith Richards was playing an April Fools prank when he said that he inhaled his pappy with a toot of coke.
But no one got it. He had to tell everyone it was a joke.
That is the funny part - the fact that Keith snorted his dad's ashes was more believable than the fact that he was joking.
Dude, I know how you feel. No one at work gets my jokes either.
But no one got it. He had to tell everyone it was a joke.
That is the funny part - the fact that Keith snorted his dad's ashes was more believable than the fact that he was joking.
Dude, I know how you feel. No one at work gets my jokes either.
Not worth his salt
There is absolutely no good or real reason to pay Alan Mulally $28,000,000 to be the CEO of Ford Motors.
I understand that the $28 mil is based on a $2,000,000 base salary + stock n' sh*t but whatever, it's still a major chunka change.
Let me just review a coupla reasons why he doesn't deserve it:
1. Ford lost $12 billion last year. $12,000,000,000. That is equal to roughly 3,037,974,682 Friendly Fribbles. Or enough for every single person on Earth to share half a one.
2. Ford stands for Found On Road Dead and sometimes Fixed Or Repaired Daily. And now with the downsizing, that makes Ford employees F*ucked Over Royally Dude.
3. Ford is closing several plants and laying off 30,000 people. He could give each of them $933.00 with that pink slip.
I think a cash reward for a job well done is the best kind of reward, but when did it turn into a cash reward for a crappy job that involves layoffs, plant closings, and billion dollar losses?
If anyone can tell me, and convince me, how this is considered a solid business logic/plan/approach, I will make, bake, and send them 2 dozen oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies. Oatmeal optional.
Because I may not have a terribly solid grasp of standard business policy and procedure, but I do know that if it quacks, floats, and has feathers - it's probably a duck.
I understand that the $28 mil is based on a $2,000,000 base salary + stock n' sh*t but whatever, it's still a major chunka change.
Let me just review a coupla reasons why he doesn't deserve it:
1. Ford lost $12 billion last year. $12,000,000,000. That is equal to roughly 3,037,974,682 Friendly Fribbles. Or enough for every single person on Earth to share half a one.
2. Ford stands for Found On Road Dead and sometimes Fixed Or Repaired Daily. And now with the downsizing, that makes Ford employees F*ucked Over Royally Dude.
3. Ford is closing several plants and laying off 30,000 people. He could give each of them $933.00 with that pink slip.
I think a cash reward for a job well done is the best kind of reward, but when did it turn into a cash reward for a crappy job that involves layoffs, plant closings, and billion dollar losses?
If anyone can tell me, and convince me, how this is considered a solid business logic/plan/approach, I will make, bake, and send them 2 dozen oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies. Oatmeal optional.
Because I may not have a terribly solid grasp of standard business policy and procedure, but I do know that if it quacks, floats, and has feathers - it's probably a duck.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Why mix tapes are a bad idea, nevermind trying to find a cassette player.
My co-worker, Accountant-by-Day sent me this gem from Mitch Hedberg:
_____________________
Some songs have a special meaning for man in regards to a woman.
But this can backfire because maybe the song had deeper meaning to begin with and now it's been cheapened.
"We are the world/We are children/We are the ones who make a better life/So let's keep on giving. "
"Remember that song baby? The night I f*cked you in the pet cemetery?
_____________________
Some songs have a special meaning for man in regards to a woman.
But this can backfire because maybe the song had deeper meaning to begin with and now it's been cheapened.
"We are the world/We are children/We are the ones who make a better life/So let's keep on giving. "
"Remember that song baby? The night I f*cked you in the pet cemetery?
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Gives new meaning to "up your nose with a rubber hose"
Keith Richards is one f*cked up dude.
Now he is claiming that he mixed some cocaine with some of the ashes of his deceased dad and snorted it.
Ew! and why the hell would you do that?
This wasn't even that long ago. This was like in 2002 or 3.
Now he is claiming that he mixed some cocaine with some of the ashes of his deceased dad and snorted it.
Ew! and why the hell would you do that?
This wasn't even that long ago. This was like in 2002 or 3.
Monday, April 02, 2007
You know who are still not married....
Nicollette Sheridan and Mike Bolton!
They really need to start leaking wedding plans.
How awkward is it going to be on the set of "Desperate Housewives" after Eva gets married.
Eva and Tony have been engaged for a shorter time, AND this is the first time they've dated.
Nic and Mike dated ages ago, broke up, did other crap, are now back together, and have been engaged for yonks.
Dum, dum, de dum? I dowdit!
They really need to start leaking wedding plans.
How awkward is it going to be on the set of "Desperate Housewives" after Eva gets married.
Eva and Tony have been engaged for a shorter time, AND this is the first time they've dated.
Nic and Mike dated ages ago, broke up, did other crap, are now back together, and have been engaged for yonks.
Dum, dum, de dum? I dowdit!
Jammin' Grandma
Ok so this is an older story, but hey, it's always gonna be funny.
Some time ago I was browsing through the local Chez Marshalls and kept running across the same two little old ladies shopping.
(great, I have the same taste as little old granny. greaaaaaaaaaaat.)
Anyway, I am in the beauty creams and potions aisle and these two grannies are going crazy with the testers. A squirt of this, a pump of that, having a grand old time.
Then one little biddy says to the other: "I don't know about this one, it goes on a bit sticky" They converse momentarily about this crappy cream then toddle off.
Curious to see which cream could not cut the mustard, I went to have a looky-loo for myself.
Lo and behold they'd been slathering on jam.
Straight outta the jar.
I guess that would explain the stickiness.
Some time ago I was browsing through the local Chez Marshalls and kept running across the same two little old ladies shopping.
(great, I have the same taste as little old granny. greaaaaaaaaaaat.)
Anyway, I am in the beauty creams and potions aisle and these two grannies are going crazy with the testers. A squirt of this, a pump of that, having a grand old time.
Then one little biddy says to the other: "I don't know about this one, it goes on a bit sticky" They converse momentarily about this crappy cream then toddle off.
Curious to see which cream could not cut the mustard, I went to have a looky-loo for myself.
Lo and behold they'd been slathering on jam.
Straight outta the jar.
I guess that would explain the stickiness.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Long live the Pancake Queen
My mother is a number of things: an accurate predictor of snowfall amounts, usually the life of the party unless under the influence of Sudafed and Bloody Mary's, maddeningly opinionated about the length and color of my hair, the most fun person to go to auction with ever... you get the idea.
Turns out that we can add the title of Pancake Queen to that list too.
I mostly see pancakes as an edible sponge for maple syrup. But Mom's pancakes this morning were so delicious I ate a hideous amount of them and now, 12 hours later, I want more.
And I know that if I were to try to make them for myself right now, I would end up with small round disks, suitable more for tiling the bathroom. Might as well just drink the maple syrup out of the jug at this stage.
Turns out that we can add the title of Pancake Queen to that list too.
I mostly see pancakes as an edible sponge for maple syrup. But Mom's pancakes this morning were so delicious I ate a hideous amount of them and now, 12 hours later, I want more.
And I know that if I were to try to make them for myself right now, I would end up with small round disks, suitable more for tiling the bathroom. Might as well just drink the maple syrup out of the jug at this stage.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Wooooo ooooo Weeeeee oooooooo
It the sweet escape!!!!
I love Miss. Gwen Stefani, and even more so now after seeing her on American Idol (I canceled my cable remember - I am watching all sorts of crap).
However, the saxatrumpobophonist next door seems to be taking a break from practice to play Sweet Escape over and over again.
Perhaps he hoping to learn how to play it on the saxatrumpobophone.
I dunno, but I do know that I used to like the wooooooooo oooooo weeeeee ooooooooo and now I am not so sure about that.
I love Miss. Gwen Stefani, and even more so now after seeing her on American Idol (I canceled my cable remember - I am watching all sorts of crap).
However, the saxatrumpobophonist next door seems to be taking a break from practice to play Sweet Escape over and over again.
Perhaps he hoping to learn how to play it on the saxatrumpobophone.
I dunno, but I do know that I used to like the wooooooooo oooooo weeeeee ooooooooo and now I am not so sure about that.
My favorite four letter "F" word
Free!!!
Like the Boston Community Change Card.
There are a bunch of merchants around the Boston area that are part of the program and basically you swipe your card to get rebates and earn donations that can be applied toward the non-profit or school of your choice. Be a good citizen just for shopping, how awesome is that!
And it's free! Sign up now: SIGN UP FOR A CAHD
So, so, so SO wrong. Wrong!
It kills me that this ad makes me laugh out loud.
Especially since it is for such a crappy product. But it totally made me laugh AND I am kinda curious about french fried chicken.
Especially since it is for such a crappy product. But it totally made me laugh AND I am kinda curious about french fried chicken.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
The Saxatrumpobophone - Part 2
It sort of sounds like Kenny G is smoking crack and playing the saxatrumpobophone next door.
Who plays like that?
My heart is beginning to race from listening to those speedy scales he is racing through!
Phew!
Who plays like that?
My heart is beginning to race from listening to those speedy scales he is racing through!
Phew!
Monday, March 26, 2007
Waaaaauuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnn
That is the noise that my neighbor makes on his saxatrumpobophone.
I am not entirely positive what instrument it is but sometimes it sounds like Kenny G, other times it's just a couple of notes over and over and over and over and over again.
Usually I can sort of tune it out and quite honestly the repetitive notes sometime lull me to sleep. But last night my Evil Twin came over with take out and we're just digging in when the sound begins.
At first I don't notice it at all but I realize that my sister is sort of staring at me, her head cocked and her ears up. My mom has the same pose when she is trying to hear if my dad is in the kitchen sneak-eating ice cream straight out of the container.
That's when I hear it too - waaaaaaaauuuunnnnnn
She is still trying to figure out if it's her phone, or a bagpipe, or a dying loon, or god knows what.
And I am pissing my self from laughing so hard!
Once the four notes begin, well we just lose it completely.
At least it's not the drunken rendition of Billy Joel's entire songbook at 4am the neighbors on the other side likes to whip out on occasion.
I am not entirely positive what instrument it is but sometimes it sounds like Kenny G, other times it's just a couple of notes over and over and over and over and over again.
Usually I can sort of tune it out and quite honestly the repetitive notes sometime lull me to sleep. But last night my Evil Twin came over with take out and we're just digging in when the sound begins.
At first I don't notice it at all but I realize that my sister is sort of staring at me, her head cocked and her ears up. My mom has the same pose when she is trying to hear if my dad is in the kitchen sneak-eating ice cream straight out of the container.
That's when I hear it too - waaaaaaaauuuunnnnnn
She is still trying to figure out if it's her phone, or a bagpipe, or a dying loon, or god knows what.
And I am pissing my self from laughing so hard!
Once the four notes begin, well we just lose it completely.
At least it's not the drunken rendition of Billy Joel's entire songbook at 4am the neighbors on the other side likes to whip out on occasion.
Funny how things can go from teeny tiny to ten ton.
Ok - so back in February I got pulled over for a burned out headlight.
Truthfully I didn't think I would get a ticket. The policeman asked me for my license and registration, took about 20 minutes to write up a ticket and then handed it over to me and drove off.
The only other time I got pulled over was about 10 years ago when I went through a yellow light and got a lengthy lecture about the perils of running yellow lights - not helping matters was the fact I was with two of my girlfriends and we'd just come back from the beach and were all wearing bathing suits!
But anyway, I send the ticket in for appeal because quite frankly the officer should have just told me to fix it and bring the car by the station the next day to show that it was fixed. Apparently that is the usual deal.
(Here in Massachusetts if you get a moving violation, no matter what it's for, it goes on your record and pushes up the cost of your insurance for something like seven years.So everyone appeals, no matter what.)
After a while I begin to wonder about this ticket that I sent in. Not hearing from the court is just as bad as hearing from them.
To make a long and boring story short:
- The court mailed me a hearing date, which I didn't get because...
- The post office coded the envelope wrong which resulted in....
- The hearing notice being sent back to the court marked "Undeliverable" which....
- Meant that I unintentionally skipped the hearing which resulted in....
- A notice being sent to the Registry of Motor Vehicles to....
- SUSPEND my drivers license!
In order to fix this problem I had to:
- Go to the clerk's office at the Court and request a second hearing which....
- I was really lucky to get at all! Then I had to take that notice to....
- The Registry of Motor Vehicles stand in line for a ticket to...
- Talk to the Suspension teller who then ...
- Referred me to the Hearing Officer who....
- Put a note in the system to not suspend my license and to...
- Generate a second hearing!
Evidently I have to wait another 4-6 weeks for a hearing, but you can bet that I will be calling the clerk's office every other day in 2 weeks time!
Not to mention the hullaballoo I had to raise at the post office. But that is another post for another day.
This is why people try to evade the po-po.
What a pain!
Truthfully I didn't think I would get a ticket. The policeman asked me for my license and registration, took about 20 minutes to write up a ticket and then handed it over to me and drove off.
The only other time I got pulled over was about 10 years ago when I went through a yellow light and got a lengthy lecture about the perils of running yellow lights - not helping matters was the fact I was with two of my girlfriends and we'd just come back from the beach and were all wearing bathing suits!
But anyway, I send the ticket in for appeal because quite frankly the officer should have just told me to fix it and bring the car by the station the next day to show that it was fixed. Apparently that is the usual deal.
(Here in Massachusetts if you get a moving violation, no matter what it's for, it goes on your record and pushes up the cost of your insurance for something like seven years.So everyone appeals, no matter what.)
After a while I begin to wonder about this ticket that I sent in. Not hearing from the court is just as bad as hearing from them.
To make a long and boring story short:
- The court mailed me a hearing date, which I didn't get because...
- The post office coded the envelope wrong which resulted in....
- The hearing notice being sent back to the court marked "Undeliverable" which....
- Meant that I unintentionally skipped the hearing which resulted in....
- A notice being sent to the Registry of Motor Vehicles to....
- SUSPEND my drivers license!
In order to fix this problem I had to:
- Go to the clerk's office at the Court and request a second hearing which....
- I was really lucky to get at all! Then I had to take that notice to....
- The Registry of Motor Vehicles stand in line for a ticket to...
- Talk to the Suspension teller who then ...
- Referred me to the Hearing Officer who....
- Put a note in the system to not suspend my license and to...
- Generate a second hearing!
Evidently I have to wait another 4-6 weeks for a hearing, but you can bet that I will be calling the clerk's office every other day in 2 weeks time!
Not to mention the hullaballoo I had to raise at the post office. But that is another post for another day.
This is why people try to evade the po-po.
What a pain!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Universal Hub - not a device
I was wondering why I had so many hits on this blog over the weekend.
Turns out that my new crush was revealed on Universal Hub.
Which I realize now is not a computer device but a website of all things Hub (aka: Boston) related.
According to my friend The Doug, that would make me the Sofa King.
Especially as how one dear reader even took the trouble to alert me to that fact.
Well, it's a good thing I am good looking.
Turns out that my new crush was revealed on Universal Hub.
Which I realize now is not a computer device but a website of all things Hub (aka: Boston) related.
According to my friend The Doug, that would make me the Sofa King.
Especially as how one dear reader even took the trouble to alert me to that fact.
Well, it's a good thing I am good looking.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Space Rocks!
Now that I am back to basic cable (Call the Cops, BNN, Thursday night.. must remember!) I have rediscovered the joys of NASA TV.
I forgot how cool it is to watch the interviews from the space station, and how they map the shuttle path as it crosses the skies, and how truly amazing it is that there are fragile little humans in a tin can waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay up in the sky.
Amazing!
Check out this neat website that has a clickable map of photos of the Earth that have been taken by astronauts: Click the Map - you know you wanna!
Earthrise at Christmas - 1968
I forgot how cool it is to watch the interviews from the space station, and how they map the shuttle path as it crosses the skies, and how truly amazing it is that there are fragile little humans in a tin can waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay up in the sky.
Amazing!
Check out this neat website that has a clickable map of photos of the Earth that have been taken by astronauts: Click the Map - you know you wanna!
Earthrise at Christmas - 1968
Friday, March 16, 2007
Snow Day!
It's Friday afternoon, it's practically a blizzard out (yes I know it was 70 degrees on Tuesday) and I am at home watching C-Span!
These congressional hearings and Valerie Plame Wilson's testimony is actually really interesting.
All I need now is a pizza and a six-pack!
These congressional hearings and Valerie Plame Wilson's testimony is actually really interesting.
All I need now is a pizza and a six-pack!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
My new crush!
So I finally cancelled my Crapcast cable service, but I still get local channels.
One of those local channels is BNN (Boston Neighborhood Network) and usually they air these totally wacky, cat-lady singer, two-people yakking, type shows.
Except for tonight I flicked over and it was this show called "Call the Cops" and I am HOOKED.
It was hosted by Officer Jamie Kenneally (who is HOT and HILARIOUS) and I swear it was the best hour of tv I have watched all week. It should be required watching for everyone who thinks cops are aggressive bullies who just want to be mean because this guy is the opposite of that.
Because like I said, Officer Kenneally is HOT and funny and very down to earth - even when his mother called during the show, he answered and told her he would call her right back.
Tonight he hosted the Captain from Southie and they were talking about the upcoming St. Patricks Day parade. I usually avoid going within 5 miles of Southie at St. Patty's day, but if Officer Kenneally is going to be there, I am SO going this year!
"Call the Cops" - watch it next week, Thursday at 7pm. Really, it is your civic duty.
HHHHHHHOTTTTTT!
One of those local channels is BNN (Boston Neighborhood Network) and usually they air these totally wacky, cat-lady singer, two-people yakking, type shows.
Except for tonight I flicked over and it was this show called "Call the Cops" and I am HOOKED.
It was hosted by Officer Jamie Kenneally (who is HOT and HILARIOUS) and I swear it was the best hour of tv I have watched all week. It should be required watching for everyone who thinks cops are aggressive bullies who just want to be mean because this guy is the opposite of that.
Because like I said, Officer Kenneally is HOT and funny and very down to earth - even when his mother called during the show, he answered and told her he would call her right back.
Tonight he hosted the Captain from Southie and they were talking about the upcoming St. Patricks Day parade. I usually avoid going within 5 miles of Southie at St. Patty's day, but if Officer Kenneally is going to be there, I am SO going this year!
"Call the Cops" - watch it next week, Thursday at 7pm. Really, it is your civic duty.
HHHHHHHOTTTTTT!
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Everyone Blames the Unicorn
Face it, when the sh*t hits the fan I know you secretly blame the unicorn.
Just like this man.
Ahhh hahahhahahah!
(Image from Anonymous)
You know he meant it about the unicorn, he just has a really great lawyer.
Just like this man.
Ahhh hahahhahahah!
(Image from Anonymous)You know he meant it about the unicorn, he just has a really great lawyer.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
I would call that a two point conversion
Rumor has it that the delicious munchkin maker known as Tom Brady has scored a two point conversion.
Not only has he poked the hole out of Bridget's donut, but it's rumored that he did the same to Gisele.
If it is true, THAT would be funny!
Not only has he poked the hole out of Bridget's donut, but it's rumored that he did the same to Gisele.
If it is true, THAT would be funny!
Now that Marty Won One
I just have to say that the rat running across the balcony rail at the end of The Departed was too much.
Marty please.
And how come you used the Rolling Stones for mood music? Why not Aerosmith or The Cars?
Since You're Gone would have been a good choice, or Seasons of Wither.
Using the Rolling Stones is so Goodfellas.
Whatev.
Marty please.
And how come you used the Rolling Stones for mood music? Why not Aerosmith or The Cars?
Since You're Gone would have been a good choice, or Seasons of Wither.
Using the Rolling Stones is so Goodfellas.
Whatev.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
1 in 176 million
Of course I bought a Mega Millions ticket for the drawing tonight.
How else am I going to win $300,000,000?
Cha-Ching!
** UPDATE: I didn't win darn it! I was SO ready to become a lady of leisure! ***
How else am I going to win $300,000,000?
Cha-Ching!
** UPDATE: I didn't win darn it! I was SO ready to become a lady of leisure! ***
Baby it's cold outside!
Oh my holy bone chilling cold out Batman!
After being cocooned all day at "work" I dashed out to meet a friend for a drink downtown. The 20 second scurry from the cah to the bah nearly froze the nose off my face.
Blech!
I am ready to move to Barbados baby!
After being cocooned all day at "work" I dashed out to meet a friend for a drink downtown. The 20 second scurry from the cah to the bah nearly froze the nose off my face.
Blech!
I am ready to move to Barbados baby!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Freeeeeeeebiiiiiiird!!!!!!!!!
The Muddy Rudder/Thuddy Rudder/Big John show on Saturday night ROCKED!
Not only was Fanueil Hall awash in uniformed hotness, but the music was fantastic and they raised over $1200 for the orphanage in El Salvador.
The bar even created a special drink called the Big John in honor of the USS JFK that was actually pretty tasty after a while.
My only one regret is that I didn't win the Durgin Park beanpot.
Major bummer.
Not only was Fanueil Hall awash in uniformed hotness, but the music was fantastic and they raised over $1200 for the orphanage in El Salvador.
The bar even created a special drink called the Big John in honor of the USS JFK that was actually pretty tasty after a while.
My only one regret is that I didn't win the Durgin Park beanpot.
Major bummer.
Double Standards Suck
Which is worse:
A) Finding out that your pastor was having sex with a male prostitute, and obtaining and using crystal meth.
OR
B) Finding out that your ACLU chapter president had downloaded child pornography for personal use, consisting primarily of images of the violent rape of very young girls.
Hmmm.
Do the names Ted Haggard or Charles Rust-Tierney ring a bell?
If one doesn't you should be appalled.
A) Finding out that your pastor was having sex with a male prostitute, and obtaining and using crystal meth.
OR
B) Finding out that your ACLU chapter president had downloaded child pornography for personal use, consisting primarily of images of the violent rape of very young girls.
Hmmm.
Do the names Ted Haggard or Charles Rust-Tierney ring a bell?
If one doesn't you should be appalled.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Come out come out wherever you are!!!!!
Two of my favorite things are happening this weekend:
1. The fleet is in. Sort of. Well the USS JFK is in. And that means lots of guys in uniform which I absolutely cannot resist.
2. The Muddy Rudders are playing. Well I think they are calling themselves the Thuddy Rudders due to the fact that they are more percussion this time or something or other. Whatev.
The beauty of this situation is that they are playing at Fanueil Hall, which is where all the uniforms default too. Whoo hoo!
So not only do I get to go see the official band of Shamrag, but I also get to thank our men in uniform personally! Again, whoo hoo!
I should prolly add that they are playing for charity (a South American orphanage) so why the hell not go.
And even if you can't go but still want to give a little Sham-lovin' I will be happy to put bling in the bin for you.
Check 'em out here: Muddy Ruddahs
Freeeeeeeeeeeebiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird!!!!!!!!
1. The fleet is in. Sort of. Well the USS JFK is in. And that means lots of guys in uniform which I absolutely cannot resist.
2. The Muddy Rudders are playing. Well I think they are calling themselves the Thuddy Rudders due to the fact that they are more percussion this time or something or other. Whatev.
The beauty of this situation is that they are playing at Fanueil Hall, which is where all the uniforms default too. Whoo hoo!
So not only do I get to go see the official band of Shamrag, but I also get to thank our men in uniform personally! Again, whoo hoo!
I should prolly add that they are playing for charity (a South American orphanage) so why the hell not go.
And even if you can't go but still want to give a little Sham-lovin' I will be happy to put bling in the bin for you.
Check 'em out here: Muddy Ruddahs
Freeeeeeeeeeeebiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird!!!!!!!!
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Uncle Betty
For some curious reason my neighbor thinks the tv show "Ugly Betty" is called "Uncle Betty".
That makes no sense to me.
Why on earth would it be Uncle Betty?
But then this is the same neighbor who cut down hedges to spite the neighbor who makes us all nuts and in the process cut through her own power cord.
And who freely admits to smoking what I refer to as "copious amounts of ganja" - at the ripe old age of 70+.
Eh, well, to each their own I 'spose.
That makes no sense to me.
Why on earth would it be Uncle Betty?
But then this is the same neighbor who cut down hedges to spite the neighbor who makes us all nuts and in the process cut through her own power cord.
And who freely admits to smoking what I refer to as "copious amounts of ganja" - at the ripe old age of 70+.
Eh, well, to each their own I 'spose.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
She had it, they had it, we had it, you had it, he had it...
Everyone I know has had IT.
The IT in question is the puking-pooping illness, which is believed to be the dreaded norovirus. I say dreaded because it involves spending much time in the crapper feeling, well, crappy.
I bet the sales of Purell are through the roof in this town.
Boston.com has the article here: Stomach Bug
I get a cramp just writing about it.
The IT in question is the puking-pooping illness, which is believed to be the dreaded norovirus. I say dreaded because it involves spending much time in the crapper feeling, well, crappy.
I bet the sales of Purell are through the roof in this town.
Boston.com has the article here: Stomach Bug
I get a cramp just writing about it.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Major Big Boom
Because I can only shoot craps for so long, I went to visit the Atomic Testing Museum during my jaunt west.Firstly, since atomic testing has long since stopped being a tourist attraction no one in Las Vegas has any interest in all things atomic. So no one really had a clue what I was talking about when I said that was where I was heading.
Secondly, it is a really interesting museum! Seriously.
It is extraordinary that this small slice of American history - so dangerous, complicated, fascinating - was engineered by brilliant minds and carried out by ordinary people and had such potential to destroy the entire planet.
I was lucky to be there with only a few others and I wound up getting a personal tour by a lovely gentleman named Dick who had grown up on a rural farm in Ohio, served in Korea, who then went to work at the Nevada Proving Grounds until it closed and who now enjoys his retirement by working as a security guard at the museum.
He was so interesting to talk to and I am lucky it was a slow day.
The top photo is the Trinity device, the first ever atomic test - New Mexico.
This second photo is the Ivy Mike device, detonated on the Enewetak Atoll in the South Pacific.
There was a gallery in the museum with an exhibit of photographs assembled by Michael Light of 100 tests. It's weird to look at the photos and think how lovely they are when you know that you are looking at a poisonous & destructive force.
Phew!
At about that time I was ready for craps again.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Food Other People Eat
The one thing I love about where I am currently temping is that I get to check expense reports - a job that scratches my voyeristic itch.
I don't really care who the person is, if they like to rent XXX movies, or if they drink gallons of bourbon, or if they keep company with a sock monkey.
What I really find fascinating is what people eat when they are on the road.
There is one person who on one road trip ate burgers and chocolate malteds. I forgot that malteds still existed.
Another person only eats chicken and french fries. I've seen days of just chicken and french fries.
Then there is the donut eater. Nothing but donuts and coffee - breakfast, lunch, and dinner!
Don't worry, I don't associate people with the reports they turn in, but it's like when I used to work as a cashier at Star Market and I would be fascinated with the groceries of others.
And another thing, now I know that that there is a major difference between what people eat and what they say they eat!
I bet the Donut Eater would never cop to eating just donuts three meals in a row.
I don't really care who the person is, if they like to rent XXX movies, or if they drink gallons of bourbon, or if they keep company with a sock monkey.
What I really find fascinating is what people eat when they are on the road.
There is one person who on one road trip ate burgers and chocolate malteds. I forgot that malteds still existed.
Another person only eats chicken and french fries. I've seen days of just chicken and french fries.
Then there is the donut eater. Nothing but donuts and coffee - breakfast, lunch, and dinner!
Don't worry, I don't associate people with the reports they turn in, but it's like when I used to work as a cashier at Star Market and I would be fascinated with the groceries of others.
And another thing, now I know that that there is a major difference between what people eat and what they say they eat!
I bet the Donut Eater would never cop to eating just donuts three meals in a row.
Monday, February 19, 2007
I know that it is 19 degrees out.
But if we were all in Ireland and it was 19 degrees that would be the equivalent of 66 Boston degrees.
And then we would all be eating '99s. YUM.
This is a '99:
But for a WAY better picture, click HERE.
(That is really how they are supposed to look, although I do like mine with a dribble of strawberry syrup)
Anyway, a million years ago when I lived in Ireland a 99 would solve a multitude of problems for me. I really could use on right now.
PS: I just noticed that 66 is 99 upside down! Interesting.
And then we would all be eating '99s. YUM.
This is a '99:
But for a WAY better picture, click HERE.
(That is really how they are supposed to look, although I do like mine with a dribble of strawberry syrup)
Anyway, a million years ago when I lived in Ireland a 99 would solve a multitude of problems for me. I really could use on right now.
PS: I just noticed that 66 is 99 upside down! Interesting.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Who's Your Daddy?!?
I will confess that after the big Britney Shave & Tattoo-a-thon, the LAST celebrity scandal I ever expected to hear was that these two pointy-heads are allegedly expecting!!!!
I bet Gisele is THRILLED!
Saturday, February 17, 2007
What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here?
First Anna Nicole kicks it.
Then Britney shaves her head and goes to a tattoo parlor where she is described as being very unhappy, jittery, and tired of people touching her. (Maybe a tattoo wasn't the best thing to do to a person in that state of mind...)
Here is this young woman (25) with two kids, a soon-to-be-ex hubby, a predisposition toward taking off her clothes in nightclub, a preference for going commando and flashing her c-section to the paparazzi. Gee, I wonder why no one will leave her alone?
Quite frankly I think that the only reason she left rehab in Antigua is because the paparazzi were not hanging off the gate.
I am beginning to think that K-Fed left her, not the other way round.
Now I wouldn't be surprised if Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton took their relationship to the next level and had a commitment ceremony this summer in P-Town.
Or if Michael Jackson put his kids on tour this summer billed as "The Jackson 5.2"
Maybe we'll see Mary Kate cave in to the pressure to gain about 6 ounces and eat her sister Ashley in a fit of pique.
Surreality - coming soon to a tabloid near you!
Then Britney shaves her head and goes to a tattoo parlor where she is described as being very unhappy, jittery, and tired of people touching her. (Maybe a tattoo wasn't the best thing to do to a person in that state of mind...)
Here is this young woman (25) with two kids, a soon-to-be-ex hubby, a predisposition toward taking off her clothes in nightclub, a preference for going commando and flashing her c-section to the paparazzi. Gee, I wonder why no one will leave her alone?
Quite frankly I think that the only reason she left rehab in Antigua is because the paparazzi were not hanging off the gate.
I am beginning to think that K-Fed left her, not the other way round.
Now I wouldn't be surprised if Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton took their relationship to the next level and had a commitment ceremony this summer in P-Town.
Or if Michael Jackson put his kids on tour this summer billed as "The Jackson 5.2"
Maybe we'll see Mary Kate cave in to the pressure to gain about 6 ounces and eat her sister Ashley in a fit of pique.
Surreality - coming soon to a tabloid near you!
Friday, February 16, 2007
The Opposite of Fun
In a couple of days I am heading to Vegas-Baby.
I love Vegas. To me it is like going to Pluto: completely alien from anything in my regular life. So yeah, I am pretty excited and I've been looking up things to do.
It's good to go with a plan to be a diligent tourist with goals of seeing crap, but the reality is that once I get there I am going plunk myself down by the pool (hopefully) with a three foot tall drink.
But back to "The Plan".
So far I have plans to go to In-and-Out Burger. This is the chain where every celebrity in Hollywood gets photographed by US Weekly when they are "eating". If it's good enough to faux-eat, it's good enough for me!
Then I would like to see the Atomic Testing Museum. I dunno why, but I am fascinated by the fact that people had to test a bomb that had the potential to wipe out the entire human race. Not only that but then people went to view this event. Extraordinary! And now here I am going to go to the museum about the bomb they had to test to make sure it really could annihilate everything.
Also I would love to swing by the Bellagio to see the Ansel Adams exhibit. His photography makes me want to live in a cabin in the wilderness. Granted I would last about a day seeing as how I am afraid of wildlife, but whatever.
But then I came across the thrill rides at the Stratosphere.
And that brings me to the title of this post. Those rides look like the OPPOSITE of fun to me.
First of all I don't like thrill rides.
I went out on a bad date this summer that involved a roller coaster and a ride ominously called the Psycho. Let's just say that a) I didn't so much scream like a girl (because, hey, I am one!) but rather like a panicked human screaming for dear life, and b) I spent waaaaay too much time trying to keep my belongings from succumbing to a massive and sudden dose of gravitational pull.
And then when I got off the ride I didn't think "oh how fun" but instead thought "who the f*ck would want to do that again?"
The rides at the Stratosphere are positioned about 900 feet off the ground. So you are lashed about on some metal container suspended over the Vegas strip? Really?
Oh hell no!
But yeah, that's about the gist of it.
To provide a frame of reference here, the Prudential is about 750 feet tall. Just the thought of that makes me a little barfy feeling.
The description for this "attraction" reads in part:
I hope that face shields are provided as protection from the vomit that is sure to be propelled out of people who are suffering through 3 "G's" at a 70 degree angle!
Ugh.
I love Vegas. To me it is like going to Pluto: completely alien from anything in my regular life. So yeah, I am pretty excited and I've been looking up things to do.
It's good to go with a plan to be a diligent tourist with goals of seeing crap, but the reality is that once I get there I am going plunk myself down by the pool (hopefully) with a three foot tall drink.
But back to "The Plan".
So far I have plans to go to In-and-Out Burger. This is the chain where every celebrity in Hollywood gets photographed by US Weekly when they are "eating". If it's good enough to faux-eat, it's good enough for me!
Then I would like to see the Atomic Testing Museum. I dunno why, but I am fascinated by the fact that people had to test a bomb that had the potential to wipe out the entire human race. Not only that but then people went to view this event. Extraordinary! And now here I am going to go to the museum about the bomb they had to test to make sure it really could annihilate everything.
Also I would love to swing by the Bellagio to see the Ansel Adams exhibit. His photography makes me want to live in a cabin in the wilderness. Granted I would last about a day seeing as how I am afraid of wildlife, but whatever.
But then I came across the thrill rides at the Stratosphere.
And that brings me to the title of this post. Those rides look like the OPPOSITE of fun to me.
First of all I don't like thrill rides.
I went out on a bad date this summer that involved a roller coaster and a ride ominously called the Psycho. Let's just say that a) I didn't so much scream like a girl (because, hey, I am one!) but rather like a panicked human screaming for dear life, and b) I spent waaaaay too much time trying to keep my belongings from succumbing to a massive and sudden dose of gravitational pull.
And then when I got off the ride I didn't think "oh how fun" but instead thought "who the f*ck would want to do that again?"
The rides at the Stratosphere are positioned about 900 feet off the ground. So you are lashed about on some metal container suspended over the Vegas strip? Really?
Oh hell no!
But yeah, that's about the gist of it.
To provide a frame of reference here, the Prudential is about 750 feet tall. Just the thought of that makes me a little barfy feeling.
The description for this "attraction" reads in part:
"Insanity-The Ride consists of an arm that extends out 64 feet over the edge of the Tower and will spin passengers at up to three 'G's.' As the ride spins faster and faster, the riders are propelled up to an angle of 70 degrees. Riders will experience the thrill of being flung over the edge of the Tower and literally facing downward at the City of Las Vegas below. The ride is programmable with various ride options. An unobstructed view of historic downtown Las Vegas rewards those riders brave enough to experience three 'G's' at a height of more than 900 feet."
I hope that face shields are provided as protection from the vomit that is sure to be propelled out of people who are suffering through 3 "G's" at a 70 degree angle!
Ugh.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
It's a varmint.
Sometimes I wonder if the greatest threat to our airlines isn't deadly less than 3 ounce containers of poison but our own dang selves.
I read today about an American Airlines flight that was diverted because of a stowaway squirrel.
Read what the spokesman had to say:
But Mr. Hotard goes on to refer to all the wiring and all the equipment and operating components above the cockpit as "what-have-you".
What-have-you.
I know that I am not an aeronautical genius but I would like to think that there is a more technical term for airline electronics than "what-have-you".
And secondly, if pilots hear a weird rustling sound in the cockpit and you are flying from Tokyo to Dallas over the Pacific, then DIVERT DIVERT DIVERT!
Because when the NTSB is sieving through the smithereens of a smashed up plane, they are not going to be looking for a squirrel.
And if you think that picture is funny, check 'em ALL out at the Sugar Bush Squirrel website.
I read today about an American Airlines flight that was diverted because of a stowaway squirrel.
Read what the spokesman had to say:
"You do not want a varmint up in the wiring areas and what-have-you on an airplane. You don't want anything up there," said John Hotard, spokesman for the Ft. Worth, Texas-based airline. He said pilots feared the animal would chewed through wiring or cause other problems.
"So, as a precaution, we diverted," Hotard said.
Firstly he used the word "varmint" - really is that the technical term? I dunno about that one.But Mr. Hotard goes on to refer to all the wiring and all the equipment and operating components above the cockpit as "what-have-you".
What-have-you.
I know that I am not an aeronautical genius but I would like to think that there is a more technical term for airline electronics than "what-have-you".
And secondly, if pilots hear a weird rustling sound in the cockpit and you are flying from Tokyo to Dallas over the Pacific, then DIVERT DIVERT DIVERT!
Because when the NTSB is sieving through the smithereens of a smashed up plane, they are not going to be looking for a squirrel.
And if you think that picture is funny, check 'em ALL out at the Sugar Bush Squirrel website.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Screw Y'All Deval
Back in November, compared to the frosty and patrician Kerry Healey, Deval Patrick seemed like the less crappy choice for governor.
Even if his campaign slogan was the mysterious: Together We Can
Which might mean Together We Can: ....Eat Cheese from a Can...... Do the Hokey Pokey........ Mess with Texas........ Drink Whiskey and Sing Shanties... who knows.
Anyway fortunately Boston is a two newspaper town, and we can now judge his first few months in office from two different points of view.
Currently the Boston Herald is reporting about all Gov'ner Deval's missteps, and there've been many. Firstly, he flies around the state in a helicopter (Together We Can Heat The World!) which as far as I can tell hasn't yet been picked up by the Boston Globe.
For the record, Deval is the Globe's Golden Boy. They aren't going to stoop to report on the high-flying Gov - unless of course her name was Governor Jane Swift. But then she was a Republican and you know how the Globe caaaaan't staaaaand those awful Republicans! (Together We Can Elect Someone We Prefer)
Then he appoints all his friends - which is typical of every governor (Together We Can Promote Each Other). But something about him reminds me of a guy who was an awful dork in high school and is now exacting some weird revenge and he has the whole Computer Club behind him.
Then he keeps a low profile, except for the whole Moonite/Aqua Teen/Terror scare thing, when he came out with Mumbles Menino to tell us all that we should all play nice. I am sure that in reality he must have sounded much more authoritative, but all the soundbites they used made him sound like a 14 year-old with testosterone issues. (Together We Can Go Through Puberty)
Both papers are reporting on his plans to limit employers access to the criminal records of applicants. This is a tough one - on the one hand people who've paid the penalty typically deserve to the chance to put that behind them. But that kind of societal forgiveness applies really only to petty criminals. If you knew that your co-worker was a convicted murderer or rapist would you be comfortable working late with them? How about introducing this person to your family? Yeah, that's a tough one huh.
I am curious to see what happens next. Without a doubt the Herald will be diligent in reporting all the f*ck-ups he makes, while the Globe will unfailingly cut him generous amounts of slack and the truth as usual will go unreported.
Even if his campaign slogan was the mysterious: Together We Can
Which might mean Together We Can: ....Eat Cheese from a Can...... Do the Hokey Pokey........ Mess with Texas........ Drink Whiskey and Sing Shanties... who knows.
Anyway fortunately Boston is a two newspaper town, and we can now judge his first few months in office from two different points of view.
Currently the Boston Herald is reporting about all Gov'ner Deval's missteps, and there've been many. Firstly, he flies around the state in a helicopter (Together We Can Heat The World!) which as far as I can tell hasn't yet been picked up by the Boston Globe.
For the record, Deval is the Globe's Golden Boy. They aren't going to stoop to report on the high-flying Gov - unless of course her name was Governor Jane Swift. But then she was a Republican and you know how the Globe caaaaan't staaaaand those awful Republicans! (Together We Can Elect Someone We Prefer)
Then he appoints all his friends - which is typical of every governor (Together We Can Promote Each Other). But something about him reminds me of a guy who was an awful dork in high school and is now exacting some weird revenge and he has the whole Computer Club behind him.
Then he keeps a low profile, except for the whole Moonite/Aqua Teen/Terror scare thing, when he came out with Mumbles Menino to tell us all that we should all play nice. I am sure that in reality he must have sounded much more authoritative, but all the soundbites they used made him sound like a 14 year-old with testosterone issues. (Together We Can Go Through Puberty)
Both papers are reporting on his plans to limit employers access to the criminal records of applicants. This is a tough one - on the one hand people who've paid the penalty typically deserve to the chance to put that behind them. But that kind of societal forgiveness applies really only to petty criminals. If you knew that your co-worker was a convicted murderer or rapist would you be comfortable working late with them? How about introducing this person to your family? Yeah, that's a tough one huh.
I am curious to see what happens next. Without a doubt the Herald will be diligent in reporting all the f*ck-ups he makes, while the Globe will unfailingly cut him generous amounts of slack and the truth as usual will go unreported.
Happy Valentime's Day Everyone!
There are plenty of people out there who disparage Valentine's Day as a Hallmark holiday that applies only to love-birds, marrieds, couples, and so on.
Personally I see Valentine's Day as a day to think about all the people I love and to be happy that they are in my life. If you are reading this, it probably means you too.
Happy Valentines Day Good Lookin'!
Personally I see Valentine's Day as a day to think about all the people I love and to be happy that they are in my life. If you are reading this, it probably means you too.
Happy Valentines Day Good Lookin'!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Bubbles, Bubbles Everywhere.
I read an interesting article today on NYT.com: This Expansion Looks Familiar
It got me thinking about the various bubbles I've witnessed over the past couple of years.
Back in 1995-ish saw the start of the IPO craze.
Which started to gather steam at about the same time that everyone suddenly got electronic mail. It was right around the time that everyone finally threw out their Telex machines and switched from thermal fax paper to plain paper - no more curly faxes!
The IPO Influenza was great until everyone tried to cash in on it. Suddenly every jackass with access to a computer was setting up an E*Trade account and buying up wads of WorldCom and Enron stock.
Then there was the Antiques Roadshow explosion. It used to be that you would go to flea markets and to the Goodwill and buy crap for your crappy apartment for pennies.
Soon people started showing up on Antiques Roadshow with a brass pony they paid $2 for at the Goodwill just to find out that it was really a gold Tibetan warrior horse from the 6th century and worth about $48,000,000.
Martha Stewart helped fuel this frenzy by featuring in her magazine lovely flea market finds transformed into useful household objects. Suddenly chipped plates and paintings of woeful clowns went from a buck a piece to $50 bucks a pop. And we were being urged to hang that plate on the wall rather than actually use it.
(It's also important to note that Martha was eventually convicted of being a day trader jackass and served a little time)
With all these object d'art turning up at every yard sale, flea market, church sale, the next wave was the home buying craze. All this crap had to go somewhere!
At that time there were housing deals to be had for sure! People began fixing and flipping homes faster than a spatula at a pancake breakfast. However, like the IPO/stock market, the flipper market was quickly flooded with jackasses - buyers and sellers.
Now some people are waking up with a major homeowners hangover, in many cases compounded by interest only loans. And while lots of people are praying for a major market downturn so that they can finally buy something, it really just looks like the only places to be affected by a real estate bust are the crappy places that no one really wants anyway.
You see that trend in the stock market too.
I am noticing that things are coming full circle. It used to be that VW had the ads featuring geeks being clever and hip. Now it's Apple flogging their Mac in a similar fashion - only MUCH more annoying and not at all clever or hip.
I can't wait to see what comes next!
It got me thinking about the various bubbles I've witnessed over the past couple of years.
Back in 1995-ish saw the start of the IPO craze.
Which started to gather steam at about the same time that everyone suddenly got electronic mail. It was right around the time that everyone finally threw out their Telex machines and switched from thermal fax paper to plain paper - no more curly faxes!
The IPO Influenza was great until everyone tried to cash in on it. Suddenly every jackass with access to a computer was setting up an E*Trade account and buying up wads of WorldCom and Enron stock.
Then there was the Antiques Roadshow explosion. It used to be that you would go to flea markets and to the Goodwill and buy crap for your crappy apartment for pennies.
Soon people started showing up on Antiques Roadshow with a brass pony they paid $2 for at the Goodwill just to find out that it was really a gold Tibetan warrior horse from the 6th century and worth about $48,000,000.
Martha Stewart helped fuel this frenzy by featuring in her magazine lovely flea market finds transformed into useful household objects. Suddenly chipped plates and paintings of woeful clowns went from a buck a piece to $50 bucks a pop. And we were being urged to hang that plate on the wall rather than actually use it.
(It's also important to note that Martha was eventually convicted of being a day trader jackass and served a little time)
With all these object d'art turning up at every yard sale, flea market, church sale, the next wave was the home buying craze. All this crap had to go somewhere!
At that time there were housing deals to be had for sure! People began fixing and flipping homes faster than a spatula at a pancake breakfast. However, like the IPO/stock market, the flipper market was quickly flooded with jackasses - buyers and sellers.
Now some people are waking up with a major homeowners hangover, in many cases compounded by interest only loans. And while lots of people are praying for a major market downturn so that they can finally buy something, it really just looks like the only places to be affected by a real estate bust are the crappy places that no one really wants anyway.
You see that trend in the stock market too.
I am noticing that things are coming full circle. It used to be that VW had the ads featuring geeks being clever and hip. Now it's Apple flogging their Mac in a similar fashion - only MUCH more annoying and not at all clever or hip.
I can't wait to see what comes next!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Will you be my Valentine?
One of my favorite artists ever is the one and only
She is the person who sees hearts everywhere and what is not to love about someone who has that talent!
Check out her website for more fab photos: Hearts Happen
Currently her work is on display at the Red Dot Gallery in Dorchester and at the Boston Cheese Cellar in Roslindale.
Her cards are ideally suited to this time of year **wink**wink** however if you are so inclined she also does custom card orders.
*@*@ Kristin Mallery *@*@.
She is the person who sees hearts everywhere and what is not to love about someone who has that talent!
Check out her website for more fab photos: Hearts Happen
Currently her work is on display at the Red Dot Gallery in Dorchester and at the Boston Cheese Cellar in Roslindale.
Her cards are ideally suited to this time of year **wink**wink** however if you are so inclined she also does custom card orders.
Random Funny Sh*t
I am sort of trying to clean out my overflowing email in-box.
How's it going? Eh, not so much.
I keep coming across funny links people have sent me over time.
Like this one from Boston.com: it is a picture my Evil Twin sent me and I concur that a rabbit with a pancake on its head is pretty hilarious.
How's it going? Eh, not so much.
I keep coming across funny links people have sent me over time.
Like this one from Boston.com: it is a picture my Evil Twin sent me and I concur that a rabbit with a pancake on its head is pretty hilarious.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
My funny Valentine
The other night I had a very vivid dream that I was married to Rick Rubin.
Huh?
I have no clue at all about this one at all.
Other than having "Brass Monkey" on my MP3 player, I have no real recollection as to how on earth he made his way into my subconscious.
But interestingly we have the same birthday, 10 years apart.
Huh?
I have no clue at all about this one at all.
Other than having "Brass Monkey" on my MP3 player, I have no real recollection as to how on earth he made his way into my subconscious.
But interestingly we have the same birthday, 10 years apart.
Fisticuffs - the Car Alarm Saga Continues
Ok so now the sign is gone* - ripped off by the owner I presume.
Who is now engaged in a shouting match with two other neighbors about the six tone alarm.
I don't think he is going to win this one.
In fact I think this may result in fisticuffs!
*see previous post.
Who is now engaged in a shouting match with two other neighbors about the six tone alarm.
I don't think he is going to win this one.
In fact I think this may result in fisticuffs!
*see previous post.
8:15pm
The car alarm is STILL going off.
At least I am not the only pissed off person on the street.
Someone else has put a sign on the front windshield that reads:
"pls steal this car"
At least I am not the only pissed off person on the street.
Someone else has put a sign on the front windshield that reads:
"pls steal this car"
Dear Reader - It's been nice knowing you!
Currently there is a car outside of my house with a six tone alarm going off.
It's been going off for an hour and a half now.
In about six more tones I am going to out there and SMASH that alarm to death.
It's been going off for an hour and a half now.
In about six more tones I am going to out there and SMASH that alarm to death.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Knee Deep in the Hoopla
The other night - well the other ages ago night anyway - I was out with a few of my people including My Favorite Amy and Cheap Thrills Rob.
Let me just say that hanging out with My Favorite Amy and Cheap Thrills Rob is like smoking crack - one freebase hit is all you need to want more. I never laugh as much as I do when I hang out with them. In Shamrag speak that makes them "ohmigodf*ckin'funny!"
But anyway that particular night I mentioned that Starship's "We Built This City" was voted the worst song ever recorded by someone, probably on VH-1.
And indeed it is a super-sucky song.
So I mention this and Cheap Thrills Rob blurts out in a sort of sing-song "KNEE DEEP IN THE HOOPLA"
Ok, try saying that line out loud.
I realize that KDITH is the album title, as well as a line in the song, but it is just so totally ridiculous it makes me laugh like a five year old at a poop joke.
What brings this up now? Well this morning when my radio alarm went off, guess what the line of that song was playing?
Yep!
KNEE DEEP IN THE HOOPLA
*next time the Muddy Rudders play, I am SO requesting "We Built this City"!!!!
Let me just say that hanging out with My Favorite Amy and Cheap Thrills Rob is like smoking crack - one freebase hit is all you need to want more. I never laugh as much as I do when I hang out with them. In Shamrag speak that makes them "ohmigodf*ckin'funny!"
But anyway that particular night I mentioned that Starship's "We Built This City" was voted the worst song ever recorded by someone, probably on VH-1.
And indeed it is a super-sucky song.
So I mention this and Cheap Thrills Rob blurts out in a sort of sing-song "KNEE DEEP IN THE HOOPLA"
Ok, try saying that line out loud.
I realize that KDITH is the album title, as well as a line in the song, but it is just so totally ridiculous it makes me laugh like a five year old at a poop joke.
What brings this up now? Well this morning when my radio alarm went off, guess what the line of that song was playing?
Yep!
KNEE DEEP IN THE HOOPLA
*next time the Muddy Rudders play, I am SO requesting "We Built this City"!!!!
Friday, February 09, 2007
Two inches - better than no inches!
According to the balding weatherman on Channel 7 we've only had 2 inches of snow this entire winter.
Probably because it's been too freakin' cold to snow!
But it's better than the 100+ inches they got in upstate New York.
Blech!
Probably because it's been too freakin' cold to snow!
But it's better than the 100+ inches they got in upstate New York.
Blech!
Anna Nicole Stuns a Nation. STUNS!
Far be it from me to mock the dead, but......
Can you believe all the attention that poor old Anna Nicole is generating?
It's as bizarre as her ramblings!
Have your seen the clip of her at a boxing match about a month ago? The one where they ask her what she thought of the match? Barely able to remain upright, her slow drawl reply was: Heeeeeeeeee kicccccccccked buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut.
With the amount to coverage it's getting I am almost expecting Prezzie Bush to declare a month of mourning, give her a state funeral.
The nightly news began with coverage of her death last night and again tonight - the whole first five minutes were devoted to it. News anchors (with straight faces!!) have been referring to her as America's favorite Playboy Playmate.
I will admit that I was surprised to hear she died, but it was more of a "last person I would have thought of" kind of surprise.
In retrospect, and according to the E! True Hollywood Story, it seems like her life was a bit of a train wreck. And come to think of it, I am also surprised that Danny Bonaduce is still alive.
Hmm.
And now ZaZa Gabor's husband is saying that he was Anna's secret part-time lov-vah. (ew! ew! ew! ick! ick! ick!)
Oh for crying OUT LOUD! Could this saga get anymore Jerry Springer?
I dowdit.
Can you believe all the attention that poor old Anna Nicole is generating?
It's as bizarre as her ramblings!
Have your seen the clip of her at a boxing match about a month ago? The one where they ask her what she thought of the match? Barely able to remain upright, her slow drawl reply was: Heeeeeeeeee kicccccccccked buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut.
With the amount to coverage it's getting I am almost expecting Prezzie Bush to declare a month of mourning, give her a state funeral.
The nightly news began with coverage of her death last night and again tonight - the whole first five minutes were devoted to it. News anchors (with straight faces!!) have been referring to her as America's favorite Playboy Playmate.
I will admit that I was surprised to hear she died, but it was more of a "last person I would have thought of" kind of surprise.
In retrospect, and according to the E! True Hollywood Story, it seems like her life was a bit of a train wreck. And come to think of it, I am also surprised that Danny Bonaduce is still alive.
Hmm.
And now ZaZa Gabor's husband is saying that he was Anna's secret part-time lov-vah. (ew! ew! ew! ick! ick! ick!)
Oh for crying OUT LOUD! Could this saga get anymore Jerry Springer?
I dowdit.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
See you later alligator
When I moved to da 'hood back in 1998, the first person I met was Muriel, followed shortly after by her hubby Mr. T.
For some reason I could never call him by his first name.
Anyway, I am sad to say that Mr. T. passed away on January 31.
I am really going to miss seeing him on the street. He and Muriel have been married since forever, and you know he used to wash her car every sunny weekend and flirt like mad with anyone who got within 10 feet of him.
He used to go out on the town with Muriel in a suit he'd had since about 1968, all checks and shiny leather shoes. A real old school dude.
It would have been so nice to have had one last smile & wave from him.
For some reason I could never call him by his first name.
Anyway, I am sad to say that Mr. T. passed away on January 31.
I am really going to miss seeing him on the street. He and Muriel have been married since forever, and you know he used to wash her car every sunny weekend and flirt like mad with anyone who got within 10 feet of him.
He used to go out on the town with Muriel in a suit he'd had since about 1968, all checks and shiny leather shoes. A real old school dude.
It would have been so nice to have had one last smile & wave from him.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
One thing I would never do voluntarily
I sort of love the first few weeks of American Idol - the audition phase.
It's a guilty pleasure to watch people make complete buffoons of themselves while trying to sing some random Celine Dion song.
Please, anyone who chooses a Celine Dion song just brings it on themselves!
But tonight they had two cousins audition. One guy went in and sang/butchered Amazing Grace, thanked the judges for their time, and then went to leave - clearly he knew he sucked.
And just before he got to the door he turned to the judges and said "I just have to do this for the cameras ok" and proceeded to pretend shout that he was pissed and of course the judges are all laughing at this.
So then his cousin went in and was all tough acting, but then he sang really well and made it through. It was pretty funny.
Ugh, I can only deal with this once a year.
It's a guilty pleasure to watch people make complete buffoons of themselves while trying to sing some random Celine Dion song.
Please, anyone who chooses a Celine Dion song just brings it on themselves!
But tonight they had two cousins audition. One guy went in and sang/butchered Amazing Grace, thanked the judges for their time, and then went to leave - clearly he knew he sucked.
And just before he got to the door he turned to the judges and said "I just have to do this for the cameras ok" and proceeded to pretend shout that he was pissed and of course the judges are all laughing at this.
So then his cousin went in and was all tough acting, but then he sang really well and made it through. It was pretty funny.
Ugh, I can only deal with this once a year.
Bye Bye SatanMobile
I hardly knew ye................
Sad as it is, the mighty blue SatanMobile is finally going to be towed away tomorrow.
**sniff**sniff**
I know that I really shouldn't be sad to see him go, but I have to admit I kinda am.
All the times in the summer when it was a 100 degrees out, stuck in X-way traffic, with the heat broken to ON....
Beinging so sweaty on the plush blue velour interior that you emerge from the car covered in blue fuzz looking like the Cookie Monster....
Strangers trying to give you beer on the highway out of pity...
Who wouldn't miss that?
Don't get me wrong, I love the Champagne Supernova.
But she'll never be the Satanmobile.
PS: the SatanMobile is being donated to WGBH in thanks for all those years of Sesame Street, Electric Company, and Zoom.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Why beans+humans=balmy winter!
It seems that scientists are just now coming around to saying that it might be possible that humans might possibly be the possible source of global warming.
DUH!
Even I knew that and I f*cking failed science! Twice!
DUH!
Even I knew that and I f*cking failed science! Twice!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
I'm trying to listen to THE F*CKIN' SONG!!!!
I used to like hockey back when the Garden was the Garden and it was Ray Borque, Cam Neely, and Andy Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooog.
Since the Gahden is now the GaRden I have to satisfy my hockey lust by watching the classic Slap Shot.
If you have seen it, it is f*cking funny in a really guilty pleasure way - kinda like getting a beer with your Happy Meal.
Since the Gahden is now the GaRden I have to satisfy my hockey lust by watching the classic Slap Shot.
If you have seen it, it is f*cking funny in a really guilty pleasure way - kinda like getting a beer with your Happy Meal.
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Oops! I meant cut the BLUE one!
Yeah, setting out LED panels in random parts of the city as part of a guerrilla marketing scheme is a bad idea.
For one thing, thanks a lot for letting the loony-toons who like to blow things up know that Boston is wide open and available.
And for another thing - it caused a real traffic headache.
Which to Bostonians is considered the real crime here.
Whoopsie daisy!
For one thing, thanks a lot for letting the loony-toons who like to blow things up know that Boston is wide open and available.
And for another thing - it caused a real traffic headache.
Which to Bostonians is considered the real crime here.
Whoopsie daisy!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Recycling - because I can & bottle
Ok so some of you may know that my one big New Year Resolution this year was to recycle and compost for one full year.
I am trying to prove that if I can recycle for one year, ANYONE can recycle!
So, I got my big shiny blue box courtesy of the city of Boston (free!) and a big black composter ($28) at the beginning of the month.
Since January 4th I have had 3 pails of compost stuff, 2 small bags of rubbish, and four bags of recycling.
The compost has gone straight into the composter that I've set up in the corner of my yard and the rubbish was picked up by the city.
But there seems to be a hiccup in the recycling program in that I can't seem to get the city to pick it up.
I've put the blue bin out on every pick up day this month (four in total!) with all my carefully separated paper, cardboard, glass, metal, and plastic bits like the dork that I am.
Only once was the bin picked up and that was only after I pestered the crap out of the sanitation department, the Mayor's Hotline, AND the recycling department.
If it is this hard for someone who WANTS to recycle then I am not surprised more people don't.
I am trying to prove that if I can recycle for one year, ANYONE can recycle!
So, I got my big shiny blue box courtesy of the city of Boston (free!) and a big black composter ($28) at the beginning of the month.
Since January 4th I have had 3 pails of compost stuff, 2 small bags of rubbish, and four bags of recycling.
The compost has gone straight into the composter that I've set up in the corner of my yard and the rubbish was picked up by the city.
But there seems to be a hiccup in the recycling program in that I can't seem to get the city to pick it up.
I've put the blue bin out on every pick up day this month (four in total!) with all my carefully separated paper, cardboard, glass, metal, and plastic bits like the dork that I am.
Only once was the bin picked up and that was only after I pestered the crap out of the sanitation department, the Mayor's Hotline, AND the recycling department.
If it is this hard for someone who WANTS to recycle then I am not surprised more people don't.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Bride Wigs OUT
*** UPDATE ***
Turns out the bridezilla was faking, a Fauxzilla if you willa.
She's a Canadian actress named Jodi Behan.
And you can count on the fact that no one will ever want to marry her now.
That performance cut a littletooclosetothebone.
***************
I know it's long, but it is so worth it.
You know you know someone like this.
Turns out the bridezilla was faking, a Fauxzilla if you willa.
She's a Canadian actress named Jodi Behan.
And you can count on the fact that no one will ever want to marry her now.
That performance cut a littletooclosetothebone.
***************
I know it's long, but it is so worth it.
You know you know someone like this.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Aaaachhhooooooo - Part 2
$380 a month for healthcare is the current estimate. A year or so back when they introduced this program they were estimating that it would cost about $200 a month.
It looks like a regular old plan: nominal co-pays for doctor visits, nominal co-pays for prescriptions off an approved list, and pay $50 for an emergency room visit.
Still, that's some amount of dough huh.
You pay up, but since you need a referral to get anything done I can't see how you are going to be able to use up what you put in. I am a reasonably healthy person, and I go to the doctor oh about once every couple of years.
Sure I should have my cholesterol checked ($150 & referral), an internal exam ($125), check a couple of moles ($175 & referral), and lord knows I need an eye exam ($75 & referral) - all about $525.
You can get reduced rates if your income is at or below 300% the federal poverty level. Which means for me means I can't earn more than $29,412 per year ($14.14 per hour). So a dollar over means I have to pay the full price.
If you fail to get insurance by the end of the year you will lose your personal tax exemption. If you still don't have insurance in 2008 you will be penalized on a monthly basis at 50% of the cheapest insurance rate.
All this to insure the 500,000 uninsured of Massachusetts who are probably uninsured for a real reason.
It all just seems like a tremendous rip-off to me.
It looks like a regular old plan: nominal co-pays for doctor visits, nominal co-pays for prescriptions off an approved list, and pay $50 for an emergency room visit.
Still, that's some amount of dough huh.
You pay up, but since you need a referral to get anything done I can't see how you are going to be able to use up what you put in. I am a reasonably healthy person, and I go to the doctor oh about once every couple of years.
Sure I should have my cholesterol checked ($150 & referral), an internal exam ($125), check a couple of moles ($175 & referral), and lord knows I need an eye exam ($75 & referral) - all about $525.
You can get reduced rates if your income is at or below 300% the federal poverty level. Which means for me means I can't earn more than $29,412 per year ($14.14 per hour). So a dollar over means I have to pay the full price.
If you fail to get insurance by the end of the year you will lose your personal tax exemption. If you still don't have insurance in 2008 you will be penalized on a monthly basis at 50% of the cheapest insurance rate.
All this to insure the 500,000 uninsured of Massachusetts who are probably uninsured for a real reason.
It all just seems like a tremendous rip-off to me.
Academy Awards - February 25th 2007
I just like to watch the Oscars to see what completely silly-foophy outfit designers trick people into wearing.
Cher needs to make another movie so that she can go to the awards in a Bob Mackie confection.
Anyway, enough about what I want, here are my 2007 Oscar picks:
Best Motion Picture of the Year: I want the The Departed to win (whoo hooo Boston!), however Martin Scorsese has some strange kind of Oscar hex on him. So it would be great if Little Miss Sunshine won. But probably Babel will win because I think Hollywood has lost its sense of humor completely.
Best Actor: Ugh, I don't like any of the contenders in this category. Ryan Gosling always has the same constipated look on his face, Forrest Whitaker plays Idi Amin which is an Oscar kiss of death, Peter O'Toole can't win because they've already given him the Lifetime Achievement Award, and Leonardo DiCaprio was in a Martin Scorsese film. Which means that the award should go to the Fresh Prince, errrrr, I mean Will Smith!
Best Actress: This is the year of the matron! Judi Dench, Helen Mirren, & Meryl Streep are all proof that women "of a certain age" are Oscar GOLD in Hollywood. This is not an easy pick. Streep has won twice, Dench has won once, and Mirren has been nominated three times. But Kate Winslet has also be nominated a coupla times, she made hilarious fun of herself and her Oscar aspirations in a great episode of Extras, and she is under 40 and Hollywood LOVES that. As for Penelope Cruz, well she is cute and evidently this year is the year for anyone who speaks Spanish... It's a toss up, but I suppose that since Mirren won at the Golden Globes and at the SAG Awards, what the heck - she has my vote.
Best Supporting Actor: Eddie Murphy, even though I want Mark Wahlburg to win (whoo hoo Boston!).
Best Supporting Actress: Jennifer Hudson. She was voted off American Idol and then was paired with Beyonce - from rejection to redemption, she deserves to win. But secretly I hope that Abigail Breslin wins.
Best Director: Martin Scorsese needs to win one. But he is up against Clint Eastwood the Elder Statesman of Hollywood, and that's all the excuse Hollywood needs. But I am still casting my vote for him (whoo hoo Boston!)
As for the rest of the awards (editing, art direction, costuming, make up....), well I will make my predictions about them later. And seemingly there are two writing awards this year. I don't remember that from last year.... Which means that both Borat and The Queen could win for best writing. Curious.
Cher needs to make another movie so that she can go to the awards in a Bob Mackie confection.
Anyway, enough about what I want, here are my 2007 Oscar picks:
Best Motion Picture of the Year: I want the The Departed to win (whoo hooo Boston!), however Martin Scorsese has some strange kind of Oscar hex on him. So it would be great if Little Miss Sunshine won. But probably Babel will win because I think Hollywood has lost its sense of humor completely.
Best Actor: Ugh, I don't like any of the contenders in this category. Ryan Gosling always has the same constipated look on his face, Forrest Whitaker plays Idi Amin which is an Oscar kiss of death, Peter O'Toole can't win because they've already given him the Lifetime Achievement Award, and Leonardo DiCaprio was in a Martin Scorsese film. Which means that the award should go to the Fresh Prince, errrrr, I mean Will Smith!
Best Actress: This is the year of the matron! Judi Dench, Helen Mirren, & Meryl Streep are all proof that women "of a certain age" are Oscar GOLD in Hollywood. This is not an easy pick. Streep has won twice, Dench has won once, and Mirren has been nominated three times. But Kate Winslet has also be nominated a coupla times, she made hilarious fun of herself and her Oscar aspirations in a great episode of Extras, and she is under 40 and Hollywood LOVES that. As for Penelope Cruz, well she is cute and evidently this year is the year for anyone who speaks Spanish... It's a toss up, but I suppose that since Mirren won at the Golden Globes and at the SAG Awards, what the heck - she has my vote.
Best Supporting Actor: Eddie Murphy, even though I want Mark Wahlburg to win (whoo hoo Boston!).
Best Supporting Actress: Jennifer Hudson. She was voted off American Idol and then was paired with Beyonce - from rejection to redemption, she deserves to win. But secretly I hope that Abigail Breslin wins.
Best Director: Martin Scorsese needs to win one. But he is up against Clint Eastwood the Elder Statesman of Hollywood, and that's all the excuse Hollywood needs. But I am still casting my vote for him (whoo hoo Boston!)
As for the rest of the awards (editing, art direction, costuming, make up....), well I will make my predictions about them later. And seemingly there are two writing awards this year. I don't remember that from last year.... Which means that both Borat and The Queen could win for best writing. Curious.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Aaaaaaaaaa- choooooo! That'll cost me how much?
As you may have noticed from my previous posts, I have been suffering from a mild plague over recent weeks.
Since I don't have health insurance, I have been unsuccessful in seeing a doctor about this. Usually when I try to go see a doctor it is just way to complicated I don't bother. This time around I called several community health centers trying to see a doctor and the response is the same "don't come here, go to an emergency room".
Yeah well, it wasn't an emergency, it was a cold and I was willing to pay cash, not the pound of flesh required by the emergency room.
Anyway, as it would turn out in Taxachusetts having health insurance will be a requirement beginning on July 1, if you don't get it you will be penalized unless you can prove you are too poor to afford it.
Which seemed like a good enough idea to begin with but then reality set in. It seems now that it is going to cost people about $380 per month for mandatory health insurance, about $4500 per year.
What the f*ck?!?! Really??
That is ridiculous.
And now someone let the cat out of the bag that the group of people assembled to put this system together all earn 100,000+ per year.
One woman, Rosemarie Day, is the deputy director. Originally she was making $195,000 but then she went to a four day work week so now she only make $175,500 per year.
Hmmm, so she only works about 208 days a year, makes about $100 an hour, gets health coverage with her job, and now she is going to try to get the uninsured of Massachusetts to cough up almost $400 per month for health insurance?
Most people work in jobs where they pay for employer-subsidized health insurance, which is lucky for them. Other people like waiters, writers, hairdressers, real estate agents, artists, baristas, to mention a few, don't get health coverage. And it's not because people don't want it, but because it costs $400 a month. And that's not even the state sponsored plan.
Plus, the state plan that'll cost $400 has to be subsidized and the plan is to make the health insurance companies pay more. Everyone knows that insurance companies won't pay, they'll make the customer pay.
So even those who get health care coverage through work will find that their contributions will probably go up.
I for one am hoping that they can figure out a better price. Otherwise I will be stocking up on plenty of vitamin C.
Since I don't have health insurance, I have been unsuccessful in seeing a doctor about this. Usually when I try to go see a doctor it is just way to complicated I don't bother. This time around I called several community health centers trying to see a doctor and the response is the same "don't come here, go to an emergency room".
Yeah well, it wasn't an emergency, it was a cold and I was willing to pay cash, not the pound of flesh required by the emergency room.
Anyway, as it would turn out in Taxachusetts having health insurance will be a requirement beginning on July 1, if you don't get it you will be penalized unless you can prove you are too poor to afford it.
Which seemed like a good enough idea to begin with but then reality set in. It seems now that it is going to cost people about $380 per month for mandatory health insurance, about $4500 per year.
What the f*ck?!?! Really??
That is ridiculous.
And now someone let the cat out of the bag that the group of people assembled to put this system together all earn 100,000+ per year.
One woman, Rosemarie Day, is the deputy director. Originally she was making $195,000 but then she went to a four day work week so now she only make $175,500 per year.
Hmmm, so she only works about 208 days a year, makes about $100 an hour, gets health coverage with her job, and now she is going to try to get the uninsured of Massachusetts to cough up almost $400 per month for health insurance?
Most people work in jobs where they pay for employer-subsidized health insurance, which is lucky for them. Other people like waiters, writers, hairdressers, real estate agents, artists, baristas, to mention a few, don't get health coverage. And it's not because people don't want it, but because it costs $400 a month. And that's not even the state sponsored plan.
Plus, the state plan that'll cost $400 has to be subsidized and the plan is to make the health insurance companies pay more. Everyone knows that insurance companies won't pay, they'll make the customer pay.
So even those who get health care coverage through work will find that their contributions will probably go up.
I for one am hoping that they can figure out a better price. Otherwise I will be stocking up on plenty of vitamin C.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Get ready from more Peyton Manning
Now that the Colts are going to the Super Bowl - sorry - The Big Game... I think we are going to be seeing even more Peyton Manning in ads than ever before.
Since I have been sick on the couch for two days I think I have seen about 842 ads featuring the Colts QB.
Considering how often they have been omigoshjustthisclose to "The Big Game" victory just to have him spaz out, I kinda feel that Manning has become the Susan Lucci of quarterbacks.
You know - always a bridesmaid, never a bride. But at least he gets to make millions out of it.
If you haven't guessed by now, I am going to be rooting for the Bears.
Thanks Pats!
Since I have been sick on the couch for two days I think I have seen about 842 ads featuring the Colts QB.
Considering how often they have been omigoshjustthisclose to "The Big Game" victory just to have him spaz out, I kinda feel that Manning has become the Susan Lucci of quarterbacks.
You know - always a bridesmaid, never a bride. But at least he gets to make millions out of it.
If you haven't guessed by now, I am going to be rooting for the Bears.
Thanks Pats!
Shake Rattle & Roll
All season long I have listened to football commentators plink the Pats.
This season they have been the team that everyone loves to find fault with.
Which is why I have mostly been listening to the game on the radio because I can listen to Gil Santos without wanting to punch him right in the honker.
Like I do when I listen to Jim Nantz - for some reason I really have the urge to pow! right in the kissah!!! He is totally biased against the Pats.
I remember Jim Nantz as the guy in Nagano at the Olympics who cured my insomnia.
And now the Colts are struggling against the Pats for a place at the Super Bowl.
It's 21-6 at the half and Nantz is saying that the Colts will come back to win in the second half. Plus he keeps referring to the Pats as the "visitors" which technically they are but he is just technically being an "a**hole".
It's halftime, I need more NyQuil and a shot of brandy.
This season they have been the team that everyone loves to find fault with.
Which is why I have mostly been listening to the game on the radio because I can listen to Gil Santos without wanting to punch him right in the honker.
Like I do when I listen to Jim Nantz - for some reason I really have the urge to pow! right in the kissah!!! He is totally biased against the Pats.
I remember Jim Nantz as the guy in Nagano at the Olympics who cured my insomnia.
And now the Colts are struggling against the Pats for a place at the Super Bowl.
It's 21-6 at the half and Nantz is saying that the Colts will come back to win in the second half. Plus he keeps referring to the Pats as the "visitors" which technically they are but he is just technically being an "a**hole".
It's halftime, I need more NyQuil and a shot of brandy.
Sick of being sick
For the past few weeks I have had the crappiest cold EVER.
I had a sore throat and hack for two weeks.
Then it went away for about four days.
After that it came back as congestion in my ears and sinus, a cough and a sore throat.
I have had about as much DayQuil, CVS Severe Cold, and Tylenol Multi-Symptom liquid as I can take without needing a liver transplant. I've had about as much water as I can hold before reverse osmosis sets in, and if I have any more vitamin C I will turn orange.
Not even a couple of belts of whiskey has made a dent in this sucker.
I hate being sick.
I really am sick of it!
I had a sore throat and hack for two weeks.
Then it went away for about four days.
After that it came back as congestion in my ears and sinus, a cough and a sore throat.
I have had about as much DayQuil, CVS Severe Cold, and Tylenol Multi-Symptom liquid as I can take without needing a liver transplant. I've had about as much water as I can hold before reverse osmosis sets in, and if I have any more vitamin C I will turn orange.
Not even a couple of belts of whiskey has made a dent in this sucker.
I hate being sick.
I really am sick of it!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Salmon Flavored Coffee
I noticed the other day a sign at the gas station mini-mart offering like 167 different flavors of coffee.
The more you think about the weirder that seems.
There's blueberry, almond, hazelnut, vanilla, chocolate, mint, caramel - but who says coffee has to be sweet? It's only sweet when sweetener is added - otherwise it's kind of bitter.
Which means theoretically it's only a matter of time until they start offering cabbage, beef, thyme, or salmon flavored coffee.
Hmm.
The more you think about the weirder that seems.
There's blueberry, almond, hazelnut, vanilla, chocolate, mint, caramel - but who says coffee has to be sweet? It's only sweet when sweetener is added - otherwise it's kind of bitter.
Which means theoretically it's only a matter of time until they start offering cabbage, beef, thyme, or salmon flavored coffee.
Hmm.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Slaaaaaaaaaave to Fashion
Oh it's bad when you want to wear those pants that make your you-know-what look like OHHHH YEAHHHH except for they're not quite finished in the dryer...
There is nothing else in this world that feels as particularly peculiar against your skin as slightly damp denim, soggy seams, and burning hot rivets!
But it's all worth it for those jeans that sit & fit just so.
There is nothing else in this world that feels as particularly peculiar against your skin as slightly damp denim, soggy seams, and burning hot rivets!
But it's all worth it for those jeans that sit & fit just so.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Simon says: Freeze!
This weekend was great. According to the weather service it was 69 degrees (20C) here in Beantown on Saturday.
Not typical winter weather, but I'll take it, especially since winter in New England is all about sucking the life & soul out of a person.
So while I will freely enjoy close to 70 degree weather in January, I do so knowing that in a matter of days these balmy breezes will turn to nasty cold b*tch slap winds.
And according to an article in the Boston Herald, that's EXACTLY what I can expect.
Reports say that we will see a major cold front on the 20th and at least a foot of snow between the end of January and the beginning of February.
I'll keep you posted.
Not typical winter weather, but I'll take it, especially since winter in New England is all about sucking the life & soul out of a person.
So while I will freely enjoy close to 70 degree weather in January, I do so knowing that in a matter of days these balmy breezes will turn to nasty cold b*tch slap winds.
And according to an article in the Boston Herald, that's EXACTLY what I can expect.
Reports say that we will see a major cold front on the 20th and at least a foot of snow between the end of January and the beginning of February.
I'll keep you posted.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Favorite YouTube pick this week.
This video scratches that itch I get right around 5pm on Friday afternoon.
Bread a monkey could make
So like every other foodie blogger in the universe, I too had to try the Bittman bread.
It claims to be no fail.
Anyway, I gave it a whirl. But my batch turned out funky and blobby and too wet and didn't rise. Well maybe after I forgot about it and let it out to rise for about 22 hours it rose and then fell again...
I gave up and threw the whole malakka into a glass jar and into the fridge it went. At the very least it was going to become a starter sponge.
WELL after two days that malakka seemed to grow of its own accord.
So I said "f*ck it", pulled it out, let it rise again (which it did) and I baked it off.
Holy crap, it totally worked out!! And it was pretty good!
I have pictures to prove it too, which I'll post later.
So, there you go - truly no fail bread.
It claims to be no fail.
Anyway, I gave it a whirl. But my batch turned out funky and blobby and too wet and didn't rise. Well maybe after I forgot about it and let it out to rise for about 22 hours it rose and then fell again...
I gave up and threw the whole malakka into a glass jar and into the fridge it went. At the very least it was going to become a starter sponge.
WELL after two days that malakka seemed to grow of its own accord.
So I said "f*ck it", pulled it out, let it rise again (which it did) and I baked it off.
Holy crap, it totally worked out!! And it was pretty good!
I have pictures to prove it too, which I'll post later.
So, there you go - truly no fail bread.
OH MY GOD IT'S HOT OUT
So I logged on to Boston.com today to see what was what and there was a big red banner where breaking news is usually posted.
However instead of being breaking news, it was a weather alert, which usually tells me that there is a blizzard moving in or tornados forming over Worcester or something like that.
Not the case today.
Today the weather alert was:
Yep, it's January. It's 63 degrees out. Thanks for alerting me to that fact.
However instead of being breaking news, it was a weather alert, which usually tells me that there is a blizzard moving in or tornados forming over Worcester or something like that.
Not the case today.
Today the weather alert was:
RECORD HIGH TEMP SET AT LOGAN AIRPORT
Yep, it's January. It's 63 degrees out. Thanks for alerting me to that fact.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Ick Ick Ick Ick ICK
Whitney Houston is auctioning off her clothes and crap, right down to her underwear.
Now really, unless you are pervy, you don't buy second hand underpants.
Ever.
Especially if the person you are buying them from looks like this:
And lives like this:
Interestingly enough that's a Bank of America check box on flipped upside down on the counter. Coupled with the can of Bud and the pack of Newports it doesn't get more staged than that.
It's almost too perfect..... hmmmmmm....
Now really, unless you are pervy, you don't buy second hand underpants.
Ever.
Especially if the person you are buying them from looks like this:
And lives like this:
Interestingly enough that's a Bank of America check box on flipped upside down on the counter. Coupled with the can of Bud and the pack of Newports it doesn't get more staged than that.
It's almost too perfect..... hmmmmmm....
I am the Food Psychic
Ok, first it was shopping at Super 88.
Then it was Black Cake.
Now it is baked beans.....
Check out this week's Boston Globe Food Section article on Baked Beans and please note that you saw it here first.
Like a week ago.
Then it was Black Cake.
Now it is baked beans.....
Check out this week's Boston Globe Food Section article on Baked Beans and please note that you saw it here first.
Like a week ago.
Your tax dollars at work for YOU!
Today they were filling potholes at 8:30 am on Storrow Drive eastbound.
(For those of you who don't know, that's like standing at the bottom of the escalator while bodies pile up behind you.)
There is no way your boss would believe that traffice excuse when you are trying to explain why you are 45 minutes late to work today.
It feels like Monday morning today.
I need a donut.
And about a gallon of coffee.
(For those of you who don't know, that's like standing at the bottom of the escalator while bodies pile up behind you.)
There is no way your boss would believe that traffice excuse when you are trying to explain why you are 45 minutes late to work today.
It feels like Monday morning today.
I need a donut.
And about a gallon of coffee.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
I want that, and that, and one of them, and a coupla those...
Well I was looking for one of these:
when I found this:
And now I want one.
Check out all the cool crap at Fred Flare.
Actually, I kind of want it all.
And now I want one.
Check out all the cool crap at Fred Flare.
Actually, I kind of want it all.
Monday, January 01, 2007
2007 Guilty Pleasures
One resolution I've made this year (one of three - more than that is too much to remember) is to revel more in the guilty pleasures of life.
Some of those guilty pleasures include:
~~ Having oysters and bloody Mary's at a bar. Any old bar.
~~ Watching Armed & Famous - I can't wait to see Erik Estrada in a real uniform!
~~ Read trashy magazines more often.
~~ Use more sriracha!
~~ Take more Jimmy Buffett baths. You know the ones where you crank the heat, fill the tub, throw on the sunglasses, put on Son of a Son of a Sailor, make a pitcher of margarita and soak it all awayyyyyy. Yeah, I definitely don't do that enough!
Here's to new years and good times!
Some of those guilty pleasures include:
~~ Having oysters and bloody Mary's at a bar. Any old bar.
~~ Watching Armed & Famous - I can't wait to see Erik Estrada in a real uniform!
~~ Read trashy magazines more often.
~~ Use more sriracha!
~~ Take more Jimmy Buffett baths. You know the ones where you crank the heat, fill the tub, throw on the sunglasses, put on Son of a Son of a Sailor, make a pitcher of margarita and soak it all awayyyyyy. Yeah, I definitely don't do that enough!
Here's to new years and good times!
Saturday, December 30, 2006
New Year Predictions: Fiery Splits
Good and happy is only good and happy if there is bad and crappy to compare it to.
Which means you can't have hook-ups without breakups and my '07 kiss off predictions are as follows.
1. Paris and Stavros. Or Niarchos, or Pavlos, or Zeus. She like her men Greek and moneyed, but it never lasts. Bye, bye for you Greek god!
2. Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves. He does NOTHING for her. She was supposed to look better after her divorce, not like some Christian music chanteuse. Bye, bye, you bad stylist. And good riddance!
3. Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton. If they really wanted to get married, they should have gotten married long before now. Bye, bye, there's a reason you didn't get hitched the first time around!
4. Evangeline Lilly and Domenic Monaghan. Talk about the odd couple, it's like watching a grub make out with Barbie. You just wait until she gets off the island buddy! Yuck. Bye, bye hobbit boy!
5. Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott. Face it - he thought he was marrying the heir to the Aaron Spelling fortune. Instead he got a poor, horse-faced, talentless wifey. Now that he got her preggers he wants to remarry her all over again. This is how things went to sh*t between BritBrit and K-Fed and look where they are now.
Buh bye!
Which means you can't have hook-ups without breakups and my '07 kiss off predictions are as follows.
1. Paris and Stavros. Or Niarchos, or Pavlos, or Zeus. She like her men Greek and moneyed, but it never lasts. Bye, bye for you Greek god!
2. Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves. He does NOTHING for her. She was supposed to look better after her divorce, not like some Christian music chanteuse. Bye, bye, you bad stylist. And good riddance!
3. Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton. If they really wanted to get married, they should have gotten married long before now. Bye, bye, there's a reason you didn't get hitched the first time around!
4. Evangeline Lilly and Domenic Monaghan. Talk about the odd couple, it's like watching a grub make out with Barbie. You just wait until she gets off the island buddy! Yuck. Bye, bye hobbit boy!
5. Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott. Face it - he thought he was marrying the heir to the Aaron Spelling fortune. Instead he got a poor, horse-faced, talentless wifey. Now that he got her preggers he wants to remarry her all over again. This is how things went to sh*t between BritBrit and K-Fed and look where they are now.
Buh bye!
New Year Predictions: New Couplings
In Hollywood it seems like people change partners more frequently than square dancers.
So, as the square dance caller would say:
My list for '07 Hookups:
1. Lance Bass and Clay Aiken. I know I know, Clay hasn't come out of the closet yet. But c'mon, they would make a cute couple.
2. Tara Reid and Keven Federline. They belong together like Cheez Whiz on Wonder Bread.
3. Pam Anderson and Jamie Fox. He's a single parent, she's a single parent, and they are both a little naughty, spank you very much!
4. Jennifer Aniston and well I wouldn't have put her together with Vince Vaugh, so I am going to go with another unlikely sort: Keifer Sutherland. Besides, I kind of wanted to put her with Brett Favre except he's already hooked up.
5. Matthew McConaughey and......................... HIMSELF. Seriously, this man is the modern day Narcissus.
That's what I got for now.
Happy new year!
So, as the square dance caller would say:
Ace of Diamonds, Jack of Spades
Meet your partner & all promenade!
Meet your partner & all promenade!
My list for '07 Hookups:
1. Lance Bass and Clay Aiken. I know I know, Clay hasn't come out of the closet yet. But c'mon, they would make a cute couple.
2. Tara Reid and Keven Federline. They belong together like Cheez Whiz on Wonder Bread.
3. Pam Anderson and Jamie Fox. He's a single parent, she's a single parent, and they are both a little naughty, spank you very much!
4. Jennifer Aniston and well I wouldn't have put her together with Vince Vaugh, so I am going to go with another unlikely sort: Keifer Sutherland. Besides, I kind of wanted to put her with Brett Favre except he's already hooked up.
5. Matthew McConaughey and......................... HIMSELF. Seriously, this man is the modern day Narcissus.
That's what I got for now.
Happy new year!
New Year Predictions: New Mommies
Ok so here's what I think 2007 will bring:
I think babies are going to be BIG in Hollywood this year. Babies are going to be as coveted as the oversized designer handbag has been in '06.
My picks for '07 mommies are:
1. Pink - she's been married a year now. In Tinseltown years that's like 3 years. Time to make a baby!
2. J. Lo - You KNOW her hubby can't wait to knock her up. Pretty soon he'll also be taking away her shoes and stuff.
3. Jennifer Garner - she made such a cute one, why not go for gold... or Iris, or Holly, or Lily.
4. Gwyneth Paltrow - same as above but she's likely to head in the Abraham, Peach, Issac, or Walnut direction.
5. Lindsay Lohan - she'll do anything for a headline and she's not in AA for no reason. People please!
I think babies are going to be BIG in Hollywood this year. Babies are going to be as coveted as the oversized designer handbag has been in '06.
My picks for '07 mommies are:
1. Pink - she's been married a year now. In Tinseltown years that's like 3 years. Time to make a baby!
2. J. Lo - You KNOW her hubby can't wait to knock her up. Pretty soon he'll also be taking away her shoes and stuff.
3. Jennifer Garner - she made such a cute one, why not go for gold... or Iris, or Holly, or Lily.
4. Gwyneth Paltrow - same as above but she's likely to head in the Abraham, Peach, Issac, or Walnut direction.
5. Lindsay Lohan - she'll do anything for a headline and she's not in AA for no reason. People please!
She did what to his what with her what????
A woman in North Carolina is being charged with malicious castration after she assaulted the genitals of a man at a Christmas party.
Ok, firstly, there was no weapon in involved yet the victim needed more than 50 stitches to repair the damage.
Ewww!!!!!
I know! Riiiight.
Secondly, who brings out the nuts at a Christmas party?!?
Gad, the holidays really f*ck people up like no other time of the year.
Ok, firstly, there was no weapon in involved yet the victim needed more than 50 stitches to repair the damage.
Ewww!!!!!
I know! Riiiight.
Secondly, who brings out the nuts at a Christmas party?!?
Gad, the holidays really f*ck people up like no other time of the year.
Friday, December 29, 2006
The Ultimate Loft
This is where I want to live.
It is the penthouse at the Pierre and for only $70,000,000 it can be mine.
According to the Nooo Yawk Times, this lovely 13,660 square foot residence features a ballroom (natch!), a gilded lobby, and five working fireplaces.
Seeing as how my new home is about ten times the size of my current home, I better start shopping.
And yes, this residence does qualify as a loft.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Hot Tamale
Santa brought me the one gift I wanted - an electric blanket.
I suffer from that old Yankee ailment of Frugalitas Frigititas which means I would rather shiver to death than turn the heat up. I think it is hereditary.
Hey, I can always put on another sweater, right.
Anyway, the only side effect of this disease that I cannot deal with is the effect of having ice blocks for feet. Which is why I love my electric blanket because there is no amount of cold weather that I can't stand so long as my bed is pre-warmed and my tootsies are toasty.
Since my old blanket has deteriorated into a fire hazard, it was time to ask for a new one.
If I buy my own one I will by a cheapo model. If I ask Santa for one......
Well let's just say I got the deluxe, fleece-clad, ultra thin heat elements, turbo blanket.
Zero to conflagration in about six minutes.
Whoooo hoooo!!!
I suffer from that old Yankee ailment of Frugalitas Frigititas which means I would rather shiver to death than turn the heat up. I think it is hereditary.
Hey, I can always put on another sweater, right.
Anyway, the only side effect of this disease that I cannot deal with is the effect of having ice blocks for feet. Which is why I love my electric blanket because there is no amount of cold weather that I can't stand so long as my bed is pre-warmed and my tootsies are toasty.
Since my old blanket has deteriorated into a fire hazard, it was time to ask for a new one.
If I buy my own one I will by a cheapo model. If I ask Santa for one......
Well let's just say I got the deluxe, fleece-clad, ultra thin heat elements, turbo blanket.
Zero to conflagration in about six minutes.
Whoooo hoooo!!!
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Santa is real
I had a dream the other night that Santa Claus landed on the roof across the street from me.
There were the regular amount of reindeer and the sleigh was all lit up with holiday lights. And he took a hard landing and a few of the lead reindeer overshot the roof and were sort of dangling over the edge of the building. It seemed so logical and realistic.
I think Santa is real.
Although if you move the "n" past the "a" it changes it from "Santa" to "Satan"...
There were the regular amount of reindeer and the sleigh was all lit up with holiday lights. And he took a hard landing and a few of the lead reindeer overshot the roof and were sort of dangling over the edge of the building. It seemed so logical and realistic.
I think Santa is real.
Although if you move the "n" past the "a" it changes it from "Santa" to "Satan"...
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Baked Beans for Christmas
I don't know why but for some reason I had this need to make baked beans, brown bread, and codfish cakes for Christmas Eve dinner.
Which is curious because I can't really stomach fish and normally I only eat beans out of a can, on toast with a fried egg on top. As for brown bread, well I can take it or leave it.
But here it is Christmas Eve eve and there is a pot of beans in my oven, and a basin of salt cod refreshing in the fridge. And I will confess that I dry-heaved when I had to rinse the fish off. Ick.
These are the beans
Kind of neat packaging.
And the beans in the pot after with a splodge of the secret sauce on top.
I will post pics of the finished product.
Which is curious because I can't really stomach fish and normally I only eat beans out of a can, on toast with a fried egg on top. As for brown bread, well I can take it or leave it.
But here it is Christmas Eve eve and there is a pot of beans in my oven, and a basin of salt cod refreshing in the fridge. And I will confess that I dry-heaved when I had to rinse the fish off. Ick.
These are the beans
Kind of neat packaging.
And the beans in the pot after with a splodge of the secret sauce on top.
I will post pics of the finished product.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Christmas Relief
Ok so I started my Christmas shopping yesterday.
Which will explain why my family is getting blue plastic dolphin doodads.
By the time I got home I was in a foul mood, lifted only by a tale of true romance as told by my friend Beeeeeeeeeeeeej, and a few minutes playing Santa Sez.
If you haven't had a go with Santa Sez, I highly recommend it.
Try the words "destroy" "kill reindeer" or "strip".
Mindless fun, goes well with candy canes.
Which will explain why my family is getting blue plastic dolphin doodads.
By the time I got home I was in a foul mood, lifted only by a tale of true romance as told by my friend Beeeeeeeeeeeeej, and a few minutes playing Santa Sez.
If you haven't had a go with Santa Sez, I highly recommend it.
Try the words "destroy" "kill reindeer" or "strip".
Mindless fun, goes well with candy canes.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
How the endless back up occurs on Storrow Drive Eastbound
A truck driver was driving along on Storrow Drive.
A sign comes up that reads, "LOW BRIDGE AHEAD".
Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles and finally a Statie shows up.
The officer gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got your truck stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
A sign comes up that reads, "LOW BRIDGE AHEAD".
Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles and finally a Statie shows up.
The officer gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got your truck stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Black Cake Part 2
After I posted about my black cake adventure this weekend, the Boston Globe ran an article in today's Food Section about black cake.
Read all about it here: Black Cake Article
For one thing, the food editor at the Globe once said she would NEVER EVER EVER run an article on fruitcake of any kind, so I dunno how this one got by her.
And for another thing, MY black cake looks WAY better than theirs.
So there.
Read all about it here: Black Cake Article
For one thing, the food editor at the Globe once said she would NEVER EVER EVER run an article on fruitcake of any kind, so I dunno how this one got by her.
And for another thing, MY black cake looks WAY better than theirs.
So there.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
For Sale: One Ugly Piece of Crap!
Mumbles Menino can't help himself...
Now he wants to move City Hall to Southie.
Are you f*cking kidding me!
Don't get me wrong here, I am all for selling that misbegotten heap of decaying concrete and all the crotchety employees within.
You can see the heap o'crap for yourself if you want to here. And I know that there are people who will argue that it is a valuable piece of architecture, to which I say "show me your Pacer!" because like the AMC Pacer, there was a week in 1979 when both were considered to be pretty neat!
But what makes me bananas is that he wants to move City Hall to Southie!
South Boston already got the Convention Center and the convention center surcharge that gives the neighborhood of South Boston a couple of bucks for every convention goer.
So now they want to move City Hall over there too.
Talk about moving the trough INTO the sty.
Now he wants to move City Hall to Southie.
Are you f*cking kidding me!
Don't get me wrong here, I am all for selling that misbegotten heap of decaying concrete and all the crotchety employees within.
You can see the heap o'crap for yourself if you want to here. And I know that there are people who will argue that it is a valuable piece of architecture, to which I say "show me your Pacer!" because like the AMC Pacer, there was a week in 1979 when both were considered to be pretty neat!
But what makes me bananas is that he wants to move City Hall to Southie!
South Boston already got the Convention Center and the convention center surcharge that gives the neighborhood of South Boston a couple of bucks for every convention goer.
So now they want to move City Hall over there too.
Talk about moving the trough INTO the sty.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
The 20 Pound Cake
Today I made Laurie Colwin's Black Cake.
Which if you read the whole recipe you will find out that she never actually made the cake herself.
But anyway I had a major craving for a dark, rummy, fruity cake and boy is that ever what I got!
The thing weighs about 20 pounds, is pitch black, and smells like rum.
Whoo hoo!!
Anyone want some?
Which if you read the whole recipe you will find out that she never actually made the cake herself.
But anyway I had a major craving for a dark, rummy, fruity cake and boy is that ever what I got!
The thing weighs about 20 pounds, is pitch black, and smells like rum.
Whoo hoo!!
Anyone want some?
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