Monday, May 15, 2006

About Damn Time

Brangelina brat? Who cares!

The $8,000,000 Aniston-Vaughn Wedding? Pshaw!

Tom Cruise dancing like Gumby? Been there, done that, what-ever!

I'm talking about how they FINALLY killed Denny-the-Doe-Eyed-Dumbass off on Grey's Anatomy.

Jeezus pete - what that man went through while Dizzy Izzy worked her "mojo" on him... I am surprised that didn't kill him ages ago.

Fo' real!

The Dizz flatlined the poor bastard at least twice, poked him full of holes, shocked him, cut off his LVentthingymajiggy, and STILL he lived. So that he could have the transplant and later die of a blood clot. Doh!

And then finally, FINALLY McDreamy and McPouty FINALLY banged the gong! He's hot, she's not, it's sad - like empty calories, a bummer after the fact. Watching them go at it is like watching Ken hump a Q-tip.

And George's new haircut and girlfriend, please - looked like an improvement at first, but no, both grew to be just as annoying as George. Annoying and unpleasant to boot.

When the celebs fail you, there is always tv.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Mom!


THANKS MOM!!!!!!


Thanks for reminding me to go to bed.
I am alot less tired because of it.

Thanks buying me books.
Look Ma! I made a blog! Phat!

Thanks for cracking a little wind when you laugh.
It reminds me that you're human too.


Happy Mother's Day.
You are the best mom EVER.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

More for the Junkie

Uhhhhuggghhh....... just........one................more.............hit

Pop Sugar, Sugah...

I Don't Like You in that Way. Really. I don't.

It's Egotastic!

D-Listed
biatch.

Ok kids, wipe the drool off and thank me in the morning.

So long O'Toolie, we hardly knew ye!

Sooo another commish bites the dust.

I think that it is too bad Kathleen O'Toole is leaving her job as police commissioner.

Of course, this being Boston, I do believe that there is shelf life for competent city officials. The retarded ones stay on FOREVER, while the half decent ones leave in disgust.

For example, Hizzoner the Mayah.

Mumbles has been on the job for far too long. While he has been able to maintain the long standing Boston tradition of cronyism and patronage he has managed to replace city official nudge-nudge-wink-wink bribery with a peculiar righteous indignation when pocketing the envelope.

Pathetic.

The problem in Boston is that all the really shi**y criminals get locked up for 5 to 10 years and then they are released back into their old haunts.

The reality is that most career criminals don't change. A person dealing in heroin or crack can make a $1000 bucks a day. If that's what you know, it would be difficult indeed to go into a job where a) you are required to be there for X hours a week, b) get taxed a third of your pay, and c) having a record is a mark against you.

In the drug trade you make your own hours (heroin/meth during the day, crack/coke at night), nothing gets kicked back to Uncle Sam, and having a record is practically a job requirement.

Oh wait, I am getting distracted here.

Back to the police commissioner.

Well, for a while things had been going pretty good crime wise. The housing market in Boston since about 1998 has been in a boom.

(I use that year arbitrarily. It's not based on science ok)

Anyway, people have been spending millions to live in the city, and in parts of the city that had once been areas of ill repute. People seem to be comfortable in the city. The bad guys were either in jail or living in Brockton.

However since last year things have gotten all gunfight at the OK Corral.

Seriously.

And I know that O'Toole has only been on this job since 2004, but she seemed like a competent person to guide the Boston Police Department, but who knows. She must have pissed of the Mayah but good. Which isn't hard to do if you have an IQ greater than a peanut.

Given the current crime climate, it will be interesting to see who is next up to bat.

I am sure the Mayah will want to see some kiss-a** in that position who will appease his various groups of constituents who are clamoring to get one of their own in there.

City Hall is completely out of touch with what resources the police department actually needs. All the Mayah knows of the neediest neighborhoods is what he sees from the back of his tinted -window, chauffer-driver Escalanche on his way home to Readville.

Or from carefully constructed ribbon cutting ceremonies.

Good luck O'Toole.

And remember, in Ireland, they drive on the OTHER side of the road.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Internet Crack

You know you'll thank me later for this......

The Superficial - celebrity hash with snarky commentary.

Gawker - old faithful

TMZ - best source for celebs behaving badly videos

Gossipaholic - the best cure for addiction is hair of the dog

Kiss My Bitter Ass - who knew celebs ate anything...

Ok, now I REALLY can't stand Tom Cruise.

As some of you may remember Tom was the elf boy Jack from the movie Legend,
















So.................................. pretty.

Anyway, now he has been caught on camera dancing.

Check it out for yourself: TOM CRUISE IS A DANCING MANIAC

Hilarious. Painfully hilarious.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Going Once, Going Twice, Going for $95 Million!

It must be a really extraordinary feeling to stroll into an auction, sit down wherever there's a seat available, flick throught the catalog, wait until the auctioneer gets to Picasso's painting of his mistress and then start bidding like crazy.

This is the man who paid over $100,000,000 smackaroos on two paintings.
















And as I am a numbers kind of a gal, here's the breakdown:

This fellow spent $100,000,000 in one month.
(He has until the end of the month to make good on payment, if he hasn't already)

This comes to an average of $3,333,333.33 per day.

So ok, how could $3 million plus be spent in one day.

1. Pay for just over 1.5 million malaria treatments in Africa
2. Buy every Bostonian a small cheese pizza from Nicole's Pizza.
3. Buy Johnny K and Brother Asshat 2,469,136 cans of Heineken.

Ok, now I am bored.

What would you do with $3 million to spend a day?

Thursday, May 04, 2006

No hearts were harmed

Kristin Mallery sees hearts everywhere.



Check out her website to see all the places she finds them, it's pretty cool stuff.

HeartsHappen.com

Monday, May 01, 2006

Free for a reason!

There is something extremely fascinating about combing through the free ads on Craigslist.

For one thing the people who take the time to post are so friggin polite:

"FREE fabulous dishwasher. It will be in the trash after 5pm. Thank you!

For another thing people give away the most mudane sh*t:

"FREE!!! Four gallons of my used cooking oil to fuel your biodiesel car. Thank you! Happy Earth Day"


And then there are those who post when high or drunk or both:


"Free rat with coffee table. Good home only. NO SNAKES!"


PS: Let me know when you see the "free money to a good home" ad.
Thanks! And have a great day!