Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Thanks for nothing Clint!

I went to Loudon on Sunday for the Sprint Cup race. Yep, I love NASCAR.

In the fantasy league I belong to we get to pick drivers once per season so the trick is to use your drivers wisely. You have to figure who performs best on which track, consider how well they are doing during the season, look at stats...  Yah, something like that.

Personally I have my own secret formula for picking a driver that involves glitter and unicorns and a couple of secret calculations and it worked awesome last year (I placed FIRST yah!!). This year, not so much. NASCAR changed up the points system so that sort of makes it tough to make significant headway. Oh well.

This weekend I picked Clint Bowyer and he was doing AWESOME until about lap 296 of 300 when he RAN OUT OF GAS.


Dude races cars for a living and doesn't know enough to gas up? Dumbo.

My almost first place finish evaporated into a 26th place finish. *Le sigh*

Well, the two chicks play-fighting in the parking lot after the race made up for it when one girl hooked her thumb into the waistband of the other girl's thong and pulled it up.... up.... up and over her head. YOUPAAAH!!!

(For those who aren't familiar with thongs and anatomy, the best way to describe it is taking a wire cheese slicer to a hunk o cheddar.)

The best part is when all the lines got blurred. The boyfriends of the two battlin' babes tried to breaking them up by dumping ice water on them, but there was something smoldering there that ice water wasn't going to put out. To this casual observer it looked more like foreplay than horseplay. What with the giggle and the underpants grabbing...

Then they starting pulling the shirts off, and for some reason modesty kicked in and they jumped up and drove off.

So there was that. And it kind of made up for the sh*tty finish.