Screw Y'All Deval

Back in November, compared to the frosty and patrician Kerry Healey, Deval Patrick seemed like the less crappy choice for governor.

Even if his campaign slogan was the mysterious: Together We Can

Which might mean Together We Can: ....Eat Cheese from a Can...... Do the Hokey Pokey........ Mess with Texas........ Drink Whiskey and Sing Shanties... who knows.

Anyway fortunately Boston is a two newspaper town, and we can now judge his first few months in office from two different points of view.

Currently the Boston Herald is reporting about all Gov'ner Deval's missteps, and there've been many. Firstly, he flies around the state in a helicopter (Together We Can Heat The World!) which as far as I can tell hasn't yet been picked up by the Boston Globe.

For the record, Deval is the Globe's Golden Boy. They aren't going to stoop to report on the high-flying Gov - unless of course her name was Governor Jane Swift. But then she was a Republican and you know how the Globe caaaaan't staaaaand those awful Republicans! (Together We Can Elect Someone We Prefer)

Then he appoints all his friends - which is typical of every governor (Together We Can Promote Each Other). But something about him reminds me of a guy who was an awful dork in high school and is now exacting some weird revenge and he has the whole Computer Club behind him.

Then he keeps a low profile, except for the whole Moonite/Aqua Teen/Terror scare thing, when he came out with Mumbles Menino to tell us all that we should all play nice. I am sure that in reality he must have sounded much more authoritative, but all the soundbites they used made him sound like a 14 year-old with testosterone issues. (Together We Can Go Through Puberty)

Both papers are reporting on his plans to limit employers access to the criminal records of applicants. This is a tough one - on the one hand people who've paid the penalty typically deserve to the chance to put that behind them. But that kind of societal forgiveness applies really only to petty criminals. If you knew that your co-worker was a convicted murderer or rapist would you be comfortable working late with them? How about introducing this person to your family? Yeah, that's a tough one huh.

I am curious to see what happens next. Without a doubt the Herald will be diligent in reporting all the f*ck-ups he makes, while the Globe will unfailingly cut him generous amounts of slack and the truth as usual will go unreported.