I am kicking myself in the a**

This is a true story from once when the Evil Twin, a bunch of other people, and myself went camping.

We were standing in the parking lot waiting for the group to gather and Evil Twin had her hiking boots dangling off the back of her knapsack and she was swaying back and forth getting the boots to bounce off her butt.

I don't know why she was doing this and I didn't ask, the family has a don't ask/just keep watching policy which is pretty effective.

So she is bouncing the boots off her bum and she is sing-song saying "I am kicking myself in de ass. Kicking myself in de ass!" Over and over again.

And as she is doing this, there is this family piling out of a mini van beside us, with a couple of ankle-biters among them.

One of the frumpy mums comes over to Evil Twin and says: "Please don't say ass in front of my kids"

We all kind of look at this woman like she's just crapped in the punch bowl - first off we were there first, and secondly it's not like she was saying "you mutherf*ckers I am going to break your asses with my bloody boots! Gaarrrr!!!!"

Then we look at Evil Twin because this is her rumble and one nod from her and we'd gladly throw the woman a Dorchester Sneakah Pahty.

But the Evil Twin is still bouncing the boots off her bum, only now she is saying: "I am kicking myself in de anus! Kicking myself in de rectum! La la la la laaa lah la"

Which, from the looks of Frumpy Mum, is not what she had in mind!