Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Reasons to Watch Deadwood

First of all the language is foul, and cleverly strung together.
Especially the lines given to Calamity Jane.

I wanna dress up in chaps and dusters and wear a hat and call everyone mutherfuckninsunsof bitches and play cards and shoot up things with my gun.

It's Thug Life - Western Style.

Secondly, what other show will include a scene where the local heavy is so constipated that he has a whore wriggle her thumb up his bum in hopes of relief. Then have her give him a blow job.

And this is the scene where he then frustratedly tells the wench to "close up the ass flap" and I will admit I did NOT think he meant the back door to his Union suit.

Clearly, very authentic. And from what I can see, the writers throw everything in there, and any complaints - well hell, it's Deadwood, it's authentic!


Monday, March 14, 2005

The Emperor has no clothes on.

Maybe you have heard, or not, of the recent stock sell-off scandal at Biogen-Idec. There is an article about it in the Globe: click this

It would seem that some senior management team members sold off a bucket of stock just prior to announcing that one of their drugs for MS had proven fatal to a few patients.

Now the lead counsel for the company, Mr. Tom Bucknam, has resigned. But not before taking home $1.9 million from his stock sale.

Something in Denmark smells fishy to me here people.

How retarded does the senior management team think that their shareholders are, if they think that they aren't going to put 2 and 2 together and come up with 4?

If you had information that your stock was probably going to end up worth peanuts in a few days, don't tell me that you wouldn't sell it PRONTO.

And you know, it's always those Harbard/Yayle/Standferd MBA types who get into these kinds of shenanigans because most of them a.) think they are SO smart, and b.) need an awful lot of money to maintain a certain kind of lifestyle which include Land Rovers and soy lattes.

But of course everyone will feign complete innocence, profess their desire to comply fully with the SEC and then hope that the whole unpleasant business just floats on by. Then later they will congratulate themselves on being so very clever.

At least Mr. Bucknam will have $1.9 million to ease the trauma of having to resign in the wake of this scandal, although really - I think he should not be allowed to keep the money because quite frankly, he stole it.

Let me just say two things in the interest of full disclosure:
One: I used to work in the corporate communications department at Biogen and when I say "used to" I mean I left in '98. I know from the inside that it is all a load of b.s.
Two: If a company makes a drug that can help seriously ill people, it should be the patients choice to take it or not, provided that they are informed of all the risks.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Things that make you poop.

Ok you silent masses - what makes you poop?

My own craptasticlist:

1. Coffee that my mom makes - it's the extra fine grind.
2. Chinese food.
3. Honey dipped donuts.


Wednesday, March 02, 2005

This is why you make nachos with Velveeta

Interestingly enough an article about a nude man covered in nachos was one of's top 20 most emailed articles.

Nacho, nacho maaaaaaaaan. I wanna be a nacho man!

I am totally intrigued by a nude man covered in nachos, which is why I emailed the article to myself.

It would seem that a Mr. Michael David Monn of Maryville, Tennessee decided to treat himself to a wild night of vodka and snacks, which he stole from the snack shack at the local pool.

Not content to merely consume the booze and contraband party mix, but he also decided that they would be best enjoyed in the butt nekkid.

How klassy!

Clearly this was no ordinary night, in fact, this was Mr. Monn's 23rd birthday.

I guess that would be as good a reason as any to get covered in nachos.

"A police officer found Monn that morning in the parking lot of the pool facility after Monn had apparently scaled an 8-foot-tall fence and was seen running toward a Jeep with a box of stolen snacks and a container of nacho cheese.

In addition to being naked, Monn had nacho cheese in his hair, on his face and on his shoulders, police said. He also had a strong odor of alcohol and was semi-incoherent."

I wonder if he had a strong odor of cheese about him as well.

"In his Jeep, Maryville officers found clothing and an open bottle of vodka."

Well, duh - he was drunk and naked, how do you think he got that way?!

But seriously, how many of you would love the walking nacho platter. Especially when you are sitting around drinking vodka.

Don't lie to me.

I know you want to try it.

Just don't do it in public, naked, blind drunk, and during daylight hours.