Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I'm trying to listen to THE F*CKIN' SONG!!!!

I used to like hockey back when the Garden was the Garden and it was Ray Borque, Cam Neely, and Andy Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooog.

Since the Gahden is now the GaRden I have to satisfy my hockey lust by watching the classic Slap Shot.

If you have seen it, it is f*cking funny in a really guilty pleasure way - kinda like getting a beer with your Happy Meal.

Oops! I meant cut the BLUE one!

Yeah, setting out LED panels in random parts of the city as part of a guerrilla marketing scheme is a bad idea.

For one thing, thanks a lot for letting the loony-toons who like to blow things up know that Boston is wide open and available.

And for another thing - it caused a real traffic headache.
Which to Bostonians is considered the real crime here.

Whoopsie daisy!

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Recycling - because I can & bottle

Ok so some of you may know that my one big New Year Resolution this year was to recycle and compost for one full year.

I am trying to prove that if I can recycle for one year, ANYONE can recycle!

So, I got my big shiny blue box courtesy of the city of Boston (free!) and a big black composter ($28) at the beginning of the month.

Since January 4th I have had 3 pails of compost stuff, 2 small bags of rubbish, and four bags of recycling.

The compost has gone straight into the composter that I've set up in the corner of my yard and the rubbish was picked up by the city.

But there seems to be a hiccup in the recycling program in that I can't seem to get the city to pick it up.

I've put the blue bin out on every pick up day this month (four in total!) with all my carefully separated paper, cardboard, glass, metal, and plastic bits like the dork that I am.

Only once was the bin picked up and that was only after I pestered the crap out of the sanitation department, the Mayor's Hotline, AND the recycling department.

If it is this hard for someone who WANTS to recycle then I am not surprised more people don't.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Bride Wigs OUT

*** UPDATE ***
Turns out the bridezilla was faking, a Fauxzilla if you willa.
She's a Canadian actress named Jodi Behan.
And you can count on the fact that no one will ever want to marry her now.
That performance cut a littletooclosetothebone.

I know it's long, but it is so worth it.
You know you know someone like this.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Aaaachhhooooooo - Part 2

$380 a month for healthcare is the current estimate. A year or so back when they introduced this program they were estimating that it would cost about $200 a month.

It looks like a regular old plan: nominal co-pays for doctor visits, nominal co-pays for prescriptions off an approved list, and pay $50 for an emergency room visit.

Still, that's some amount of dough huh.

You pay up, but since you need a referral to get anything done I can't see how you are going to be able to use up what you put in. I am a reasonably healthy person, and I go to the doctor oh about once every couple of years.

Sure I should have my cholesterol checked ($150 & referral), an internal exam ($125), check a couple of moles ($175 & referral), and lord knows I need an eye exam ($75 & referral) - all about $525.

You can get reduced rates if your income is at or below 300% the federal poverty level. Which means for me means I can't earn more than $29,412 per year ($14.14 per hour). So a dollar over means I have to pay the full price.

If you fail to get insurance by the end of the year you will lose your personal tax exemption. If you still don't have insurance in 2008 you will be penalized on a monthly basis at 50% of the cheapest insurance rate.

All this to insure the 500,000 uninsured of Massachusetts who are probably uninsured for a real reason.

It all just seems like a tremendous rip-off to me.

Academy Awards - February 25th 2007

I just like to watch the Oscars to see what completely silly-foophy outfit designers trick people into wearing.

Cher needs to make another movie so that she can go to the awards in a Bob Mackie confection.

Anyway, enough about what I want, here are my 2007 Oscar picks:

Best Motion Picture of the Year: I want the The Departed to win (whoo hooo Boston!), however Martin Scorsese has some strange kind of Oscar hex on him. So it would be great if Little Miss Sunshine won. But probably Babel will win because I think Hollywood has lost its sense of humor completely.

Best Actor: Ugh, I don't like any of the contenders in this category. Ryan Gosling always has the same constipated look on his face, Forrest Whitaker plays Idi Amin which is an Oscar kiss of death, Peter O'Toole can't win because they've already given him the Lifetime Achievement Award, and Leonardo DiCaprio was in a Martin Scorsese film. Which means that the award should go to the Fresh Prince, errrrr, I mean Will Smith!

Best Actress: This is the year of the matron! Judi Dench, Helen Mirren, & Meryl Streep are all proof that women "of a certain age" are Oscar GOLD in Hollywood. This is not an easy pick. Streep has won twice, Dench has won once, and Mirren has been nominated three times. But Kate Winslet has also be nominated a coupla times, she made hilarious fun of herself and her Oscar aspirations in a great episode of Extras, and she is under 40 and Hollywood LOVES that. As for Penelope Cruz, well she is cute and evidently this year is the year for anyone who speaks Spanish... It's a toss up, but I suppose that since Mirren won at the Golden Globes and at the SAG Awards, what the heck - she has my vote.

Best Supporting Actor: Eddie Murphy, even though I want Mark Wahlburg to win (whoo hoo Boston!).

Best Supporting Actress: Jennifer Hudson. She was voted off American Idol and then was paired with Beyonce - from rejection to redemption, she deserves to win. But secretly I hope that Abigail Breslin wins.

Best Director: Martin Scorsese needs to win one. But he is up against Clint Eastwood the Elder Statesman of Hollywood, and that's all the excuse Hollywood needs. But I am still casting my vote for him (whoo hoo Boston!)

As for the rest of the awards (editing, art direction, costuming, make up....), well I will make my predictions about them later. And seemingly there are two writing awards this year. I don't remember that from last year.... Which means that both Borat and The Queen could win for best writing. Curious.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Aaaaaaaaaa- choooooo! That'll cost me how much?

As you may have noticed from my previous posts, I have been suffering from a mild plague over recent weeks.

Since I don't have health insurance, I have been unsuccessful in seeing a doctor about this. Usually when I try to go see a doctor it is just way to complicated I don't bother. This time around I called several community health centers trying to see a doctor and the response is the same "don't come here, go to an emergency room".

Yeah well, it wasn't an emergency, it was a cold and I was willing to pay cash, not the pound of flesh required by the emergency room.

Anyway, as it would turn out in Taxachusetts having health insurance will be a requirement beginning on July 1, if you don't get it you will be penalized unless you can prove you are too poor to afford it.

Which seemed like a good enough idea to begin with but then reality set in. It seems now that it is going to cost people about $380 per month for mandatory health insurance, about $4500 per year.

What the f*ck?!?! Really??

That is ridiculous.

And now someone let the cat out of the bag that the group of people assembled to put this system together all earn 100,000+ per year.

One woman, Rosemarie Day, is the deputy director. Originally she was making $195,000 but then she went to a four day work week so now she only make $175,500 per year.

Hmmm, so she only works about 208 days a year, makes about $100 an hour, gets health coverage with her job, and now she is going to try to get the uninsured of Massachusetts to cough up almost $400 per month for health insurance?

Most people work in jobs where they pay for employer-subsidized health insurance, which is lucky for them. Other people like waiters, writers, hairdressers, real estate agents, artists, baristas, to mention a few, don't get health coverage. And it's not because people don't want it, but because it costs $400 a month. And that's not even the state sponsored plan.

Plus, the state plan that'll cost $400 has to be subsidized and the plan is to make the health insurance companies pay more. Everyone knows that insurance companies won't pay, they'll make the customer pay.

So even those who get health care coverage through work will find that their contributions will probably go up.

I for one am hoping that they can figure out a better price. Otherwise I will be stocking up on plenty of vitamin C.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Get ready from more Peyton Manning

Now that the Colts are going to the Super Bowl - sorry - The Big Game... I think we are going to be seeing even more Peyton Manning in ads than ever before.

Since I have been sick on the couch for two days I think I have seen about 842 ads featuring the Colts QB.

Considering how often they have been omigoshjustthisclose to "The Big Game" victory just to have him spaz out, I kinda feel that Manning has become the Susan Lucci of quarterbacks.

You know - always a bridesmaid, never a bride. But at least he gets to make millions out of it.

If you haven't guessed by now, I am going to be rooting for the Bears.

Thanks Pats!

Shake Rattle & Roll

All season long I have listened to football commentators plink the Pats.

This season they have been the team that everyone loves to find fault with.

Which is why I have mostly been listening to the game on the radio because I can listen to Gil Santos without wanting to punch him right in the honker.

Like I do when I listen to Jim Nantz - for some reason I really have the urge to pow! right in the kissah!!! He is totally biased against the Pats.

I remember Jim Nantz as the guy in Nagano at the Olympics who cured my insomnia.

And now the Colts are struggling against the Pats for a place at the Super Bowl.

It's 21-6 at the half and Nantz is saying that the Colts will come back to win in the second half. Plus he keeps referring to the Pats as the "visitors" which technically they are but he is just technically being an "a**hole".

It's halftime, I need more NyQuil and a shot of brandy.

Sick of being sick

For the past few weeks I have had the crappiest cold EVER.

I had a sore throat and hack for two weeks.

Then it went away for about four days.

After that it came back as congestion in my ears and sinus, a cough and a sore throat.

I have had about as much DayQuil, CVS Severe Cold, and Tylenol Multi-Symptom liquid as I can take without needing a liver transplant. I've had about as much water as I can hold before reverse osmosis sets in, and if I have any more vitamin C I will turn orange.

Not even a couple of belts of whiskey has made a dent in this sucker.

I hate being sick.

I really am sick of it!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Salmon Flavored Coffee

I noticed the other day a sign at the gas station mini-mart offering like 167 different flavors of coffee.

The more you think about the weirder that seems.

There's blueberry, almond, hazelnut, vanilla, chocolate, mint, caramel - but who says coffee has to be sweet? It's only sweet when sweetener is added - otherwise it's kind of bitter.

Which means theoretically it's only a matter of time until they start offering cabbage, beef, thyme, or salmon flavored coffee.


Monday, January 08, 2007

Slaaaaaaaaaave to Fashion

Oh it's bad when you want to wear those pants that make your you-know-what look like OHHHH YEAHHHH except for they're not quite finished in the dryer...

There is nothing else in this world that feels as particularly peculiar against your skin as slightly damp denim, soggy seams, and burning hot rivets!

But it's all worth it for those jeans that sit & fit just so.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Simon says: Freeze!

This weekend was great. According to the weather service it was 69 degrees (20C) here in Beantown on Saturday.

Not typical winter weather, but I'll take it, especially since winter in New England is all about sucking the life & soul out of a person.

So while I will freely enjoy close to 70 degree weather in January, I do so knowing that in a matter of days these balmy breezes will turn to nasty cold b*tch slap winds.

And according to an article in the Boston Herald, that's EXACTLY what I can expect.

Reports say that we will see a major cold front on the 20th and at least a foot of snow between the end of January and the beginning of February.

I'll keep you posted.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Favorite YouTube pick this week.

This video scratches that itch I get right around 5pm on Friday afternoon.

Bread a monkey could make

So like every other foodie blogger in the universe, I too had to try the Bittman bread.

It claims to be no fail.

Anyway, I gave it a whirl. But my batch turned out funky and blobby and too wet and didn't rise. Well maybe after I forgot about it and let it out to rise for about 22 hours it rose and then fell again...

I gave up and threw the whole malakka into a glass jar and into the fridge it went. At the very least it was going to become a starter sponge.

WELL after two days that malakka seemed to grow of its own accord.

So I said "f*ck it", pulled it out, let it rise again (which it did) and I baked it off.

Holy crap, it totally worked out!! And it was pretty good!

I have pictures to prove it too, which I'll post later.

So, there you go - truly no fail bread.


So I logged on to today to see what was what and there was a big red banner where breaking news is usually posted.

However instead of being breaking news, it was a weather alert, which usually tells me that there is a blizzard moving in or tornados forming over Worcester or something like that.

Not the case today.

Today the weather alert was:


Yep, it's January. It's 63 degrees out. Thanks for alerting me to that fact.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Ick Ick Ick Ick ICK

Whitney Houston is auctioning off her clothes and crap, right down to her underwear.

Now really, unless you are pervy, you don't buy second hand underpants.

Especially if the person you are buying them from looks like this:

And lives like this:

Interestingly enough that's a Bank of America check box on flipped upside down on the counter. Coupled with the can of Bud and the pack of Newports it doesn't get more staged than that.

It's almost too perfect..... hmmmmmm....

I am the Food Psychic

Ok, first it was shopping at Super 88.

Then it was Black Cake.

Now it is baked beans.....

Check out this week's Boston Globe Food Section article on Baked Beans and please note that you saw it here first.

Like a week ago.

Your tax dollars at work for YOU!

Today they were filling potholes at 8:30 am on Storrow Drive eastbound.

(For those of you who don't know, that's like standing at the bottom of the escalator while bodies pile up behind you.)

There is no way your boss would believe that traffice excuse when you are trying to explain why you are 45 minutes late to work today.

It feels like Monday morning today.

I need a donut.

And about a gallon of coffee.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

I want that, and that, and one of them, and a coupla those...

Well I was looking for one of these:

when I found this:
And now I want one.

Check out all the cool crap at Fred Flare.
Actually, I kind of want it all.

Monday, January 01, 2007

2007 Guilty Pleasures

One resolution I've made this year (one of three - more than that is too much to remember) is to revel more in the guilty pleasures of life.

Some of those guilty pleasures include:

~~ Having oysters and bloody Mary's at a bar. Any old bar.

~~ Watching Armed & Famous - I can't wait to see Erik Estrada in a real uniform!

~~ Read trashy magazines more often.

~~ Use more sriracha!

~~ Take more Jimmy Buffett baths. You know the ones where you crank the heat, fill the tub, throw on the sunglasses, put on Son of a Son of a Sailor, make a pitcher of margarita and soak it all awayyyyyy. Yeah, I definitely don't do that enough!

Here's to new years and good times!