Sunday, July 30, 2006

It's in writing, it must be true.

Anyone who knows me knows that I believe what I read in the tabloids. About 47% of what is written in the likes of the National Enquirer, US Weekly, People, what have you, is typically true. And usually it is true even though celebrities would like it to NOT be true.

Anyway, it is being reported that Heather Mills is being divorced from Sir Paul McCartney for being a complete scheming shrew. He is a dumbass for marrying in haste and without a pre-nup, but he is an even bigger donkey for not paying any attention whatsoever to all the reports that came out before their marriage that she was a nasty ole gold-digger. She was pretty uniformly disliked by everyone, he should have twigged, he's an idiot.

Look at Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey -the tabloids knew they were heading for a D-I-V-O-R-C-E before they were even aware there was a problem.

Or Lance Bass. Gayer than a Christmas cocktail, and there again, the tabloids knew then too! I wonder when Justin is going to find out he boinked Lance back in 1999.

And lastly, it's clear that K-Fed is aware of the clairvoyant tendancies of the press because he was pretty quick in getting rid of $ean Pre$ton's hot Manny!

While I thoroughly enjoy World Weekly News and enjoy reading it outloud to others, I know that it's total false crap. I knew that even before they started to include the disclaimer at the front of the magazine that explicitly states that all the articles are in fact bullsh*t.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I also believe that Kirstie Alley's weight keeps fluctuating due to her multiple alien pregnancies.