Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Bad Days in Beantown Baby!

Gad help us if there is a disaster in Boston this summer.

Sorry, I mean a natural disaster.

If there is a tsunami, earthquake, hurricane, tornado, whatever, if you live in the city, just stay there. Don't even bother trying to get out. Traffic around here has a funny way of being fatal.

First of all it would seem that the Big Dig tunnels have been made out of plaster of Paris, brad fastners, peanuts and Silly Putty. No wonder they fall down and kill people.

Not only that, but just as the masses have finally figured out how to navigate the stupid tunnels, they wind up closed and now everyone has to navigate around detours.

You can imagine the clusterf*ck that's turning out to be. Make that the most expensive clusterf*ck in history. Recent history anyway.

But wait!! There's more!!

So then last night I turn on the tap and barely any water comes out.

Hmmmmmm. That's unusual.

According to the 11 o'clock news some ding-dong drilling into the street, drilled into a 30" water main a few blocks away. It's worth it to check out the article to see the photos.

Turns out they were drilling at night and punctured the water main sending about a bajillion gallons of water out into the streets. Which resulted in the temporary shut down of an emergency room and a homeless shelter and closed down a few intersections.

Which doesn't sound so dramatic on paper, but those intersections are a big part of the morning commute. And the evening commute. And it's the intersection over by the Expressway on-ramp that was tampered with in an effort to make it more streamlined, but instead totally botched it up. I bet Matt Amarello's nephew oversaw that job.

And oh yeah, a tractor-trailer flipped over on the westbound side of the Mass Turnpike today.

The only thing making me nervous about this WHOLE situation is the fact that Tropical Storm Beryl is bearing down on New England.

Ordinarily I wouldn't worry about that, but given the recent bad luck that has been hanging over Boston, I bet that Beryl becomes a category five hurricane and really shuts the city down.

Then we'll see how fabulously well those little blue evacuation signs work. Though given the state of Boston roads, it would probably be faster to walk the hell out.

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