Birds on Crack

Some of you may remember an old post here on the 'rag about how I started feeding birds in my backyard.

Did you know that once you start feeding them you can't stop? You literally cannot stop, ever.

People say elephants have a long memory, but it's NOTHING compared to the memory of a sparrow.

So now I am committed to about 10 pounds of birdseed and two suet blocks a week to the swarm of birds that have set up camp in the trees in my backyard.

It's ridiculous.

Today I pulled up and there were about forty pissed off and soaking wet birds perched in my forsythia bush waiting for me to refill the feeder.

They were like "Muthaf*ckah! Where's my fix bi*ch!!".

Sort of I don't blame them - who'd want to peck a worm out of the dirt when some dumb blond is feeding you premium seed.

Hah!