Oh dear.

I am watching the MTV Video Music Awards and all I can say is who?

Half the clips have me thinking: they sing that? huh!

I feel totally out of it.

Wow - it's posting #200! whoo hoo!!

Anyway, guess what?

The SatanMobile (which magically healed itself) has a crush.

Yep, it's a fact - the SatanMobile has a crush on a dark red Toyota Tacoma pick up truck.

I am currently temping at a local sports station and everytime I park in the front lot the SatanMobile autopilot parks next to the Tacoma.

Even if the Tacoma is parked all by itself at the far end of the lot.

It's getting to be a little embarassing for me. I am nervous that there might be an unfortunate fender-humping incident one of these days.

Anyone in the market for a horny, permanently heated, Volvo wagon with 207K miles and two owners?

Holy Barf-ah-roni!

Yuck, yuck, yuck, and more yuck.

Did you know that there is more than one Extreme Makeover show?

I turned on the tv and the index said "Extreme Makeover" and I totally thought it was Extreme Home Makeover.

But then suddenly there was this man burning this woman's face and then wiping off the dead skin and she'd PAID him to do this to her! Before I could change the channel he'd made an incision near her boobie and was wiggling his finger in and around to make room for an implant.

BLECCH!!!!!

Gahhh, barfola!

What the?!?! Who the!?!?!? Are you high?

I read two newspapers, the Boston Herald and the Boston Globe because it's good to have balance.

(In Boston there are those who swear that the Globe is for bleeding heart over-the-river liberals with their heads up their asses, and others who swear that the Herald is for those Masshole retaahds who spend half their day screaming at the car radio during drive-time talk shows.)

Anyway, today the Herald is covering an incident which took place at the Ella Baker House. It would seem that a teenage girl was raped by an employee and rather than call police or DSS immediately, the person who founded the center, Reverend Eugene Rivers, preferred instead to call the mother and have a meeting to discuss the incident and to pray.

It would seem that the rapist/employee (who is 32) originally paid the girl for sex and when she decided to end or change the arrangement, he forced her.

This hardly seems like the safe haven for troubled teenagers that it is supposed to be. There is a reason adults are not allowed to have sex with minors. If he is 32 and she is 15, is that less worse than 30 and 13, or 28 and 11, or 23 and 6?

So the end result is that a crime was committed. Not a misunderstanding, not an accident, not a mistake - a crime. And crime gets reported to the police.

Can you imagine how this summer would have been if instead of reporting homicides to the police, people got together to discuss the crime, to pray about it instead of dialling 9-1-1?

It's bad enough that the Ella Baker House, which is supposed to be a haven for kids living in high-crime neighborhoods, is instead a place that takes hundreds of thousands of dollars from the city and state and then thinks they are above the law?

Some people will think that the victim is lying. Some people will think that the victim is truthful.

But it's never a good idea to take the law into your own hands. If a teenager says she was raped by a staff member, call the cops. Don't put the employee on administrative leave while you sort out the details and then counsel the victim yourself.

And if you don't read the Herald, here is the article from the Globe (Boston.com).

Birds on Crack

Some of you may remember an old post here on the 'rag about how I started feeding birds in my backyard.

Did you know that once you start feeding them you can't stop? You literally cannot stop, ever.

People say elephants have a long memory, but it's NOTHING compared to the memory of a sparrow.

So now I am committed to about 10 pounds of birdseed and two suet blocks a week to the swarm of birds that have set up camp in the trees in my backyard.

It's ridiculous.

Today I pulled up and there were about forty pissed off and soaking wet birds perched in my forsythia bush waiting for me to refill the feeder.

They were like "Muthaf*ckah! Where's my fix bi*ch!!".

Sort of I don't blame them - who'd want to peck a worm out of the dirt when some dumb blond is feeding you premium seed.

Hah!

NahNahNahNah! NahNahNahNah! HeyHeyHey! Goodbye!!!!

I love football. And I love my sister for taking me to last night's pre-season Pats game against the Redskins.

I had a f*cking BLAST!!!!

We got there in time to watch the Redskins run out onto the field. (Booooooooooooo!!!!) and then the Patriots came a'running out (WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!)

Oh yeah and when we got to our seats, turns out we were sitting near a clot of Redskin fans (Boooooooooo!).

Tim, Mike, the big guy, the old guy, and the kid. They were fun, in a drunken Redskin fan at Gillette sort of way, except for the kid - he was sober.

Although curiously enough, Tim the Redskins fan, kept flicking me in the face. Not in a painful way, but in an awkward "stop touching my face way". And um then there was the bird-flipping, he kept flipping me the bird and then I'd flip him the bird, and then he'd flip me the bird, and so on. Highly amusing!

What you don't get on tv is the announcer saying "And that's ANOTHER Patriots...." and the fans all scream "FIRST DOWN!!!!!!!!!"

I love that. (WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)

Another thing they don't show on tv are the militia men who stand at the endzones and fire off muskets when the Patriots score. Thrilling stuff!!

Well now I am addicted. I CANNOT wait until the next time I can get to a game.

Oh yeah, and before I forget, thanks to the guy who sat next to my sis during the second quarter who kept up a steady stream of instructions to the team (Hit HIMMMM!!!! HIIIIT HIMMM!!! HITTTT HIMM ANNYYYYWAYYY!!!!!!). That's how it's done and we had a great laugh sitting with you!

Oh yeah and one LAST thing.... as it turns out they put the number for the Patriot Cheerleaders in the game day program and we got Tim the Redskins fan to call. I wonder if he'll ever hear back.

Bad bad boy, you get what you deserve.

While the jury wasn't convinced it was racially motivated, the judge sure saw what was before him!

Josiah Spaulding the Third was sentenced today for beating two black girls at a train station.

He didn't get prison time mind you. And yes, at first that concerned me too.

But then I read the part about the judge sentencing him to, among other things, having his Nazi tattoos removed.

I saw this guy at court when I was on jury duty and I will tell you that a) he looks like a complete dork and b) he had to wear his shirt collar buttoned all the way up to cover up those tattoos!

He is going to wish he got prison time.

You can look for yourself at the different types of removal methods (http://www.patient-info.com/tattoo.htm). I caution you - it's gross. It's basically peeling skin off. Bleah!

Lindsay Lohan for Mayah!

Politicians in Boston are something like celebrities.

They all start off so adorable and lovable and sweet.
And after a while they begin to believe their own hype.
And become enraptured with their own fabulousness.

It's, like, ohmigod, totally annoying!!


(Seriously, all politicians should be pushed out after three years.
After three years they all seem to turn to sh*t.
I'm just saying...)

You MUST be kidding me!

Gah!! The Mayah nevah ceases to surprise me.

Check out the cover of Wednesday's Boston Herald:

It makes me want to cry.

Mumbles takes a stroll through Dorchester and LO AND BEHOLD!!! a gunman goes racing by him, only TEN FEET AWAY from the Mayah.

How could he have missed!!!

No I am kidding sort of. But really, this smells like a four day old fish.

What kind of publicity stunt was that??

The Mayah goes for a bells n' whistles tour of one of the toughest neighborhoods in Boston, scene of many a crime and it just would look stupid if all he came away with were daisies and candy!

No.... I think someone on Team Menino thought this one up.

Read the article here.

And how is that for a stupid picture of Mumbles looking fierce!
Or pehaps dare I say, brazen?

Cafe Sua Part Deux

What you see here is a Vietnamese coffee maker. Or crack pipe. Whatever.

Anyway, you pop the lid off, pull out the filter, spoon in a few teaspoons of Cafe du Monde, screw the filter back in, set the whole unit on top of a cup, pour boiling water in the top, and wait.

In a few minutes you will have the most delicious cup of coffee. And like any true addict I take one hit and instantly want another. It's pretty remarkable that I am not up 24 hours a day.

The contraption costs about $3.
Cafe sua on demand, priceless!

A ha!

So finally the mystery of fantasy football has been revealed to me, courtesy of a fabulous cocktail waitress.

Now I have a new mystery to solve: Laguna Beach.

W.T.F? Is that a real show, a "real" show, or a reality show?

I am so confused.

But possibly I am getting a little addicted....


PS: You can look up my fantasy football team on CBS SportsLine. I call them the Roxbury Manglers. Go team!

Joke time AGAIN

This joke is courtesy of my bud Daphne.
Have fun in Florida b*tch!

@#$%^&%$#$%^&*^%$#%^&

I used to have a Labrador retriever and I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because the last time I did it I'd ended up in the hospital awakening in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices, IVs in both arms, a terrible headache and having lost 50 pounds.

I then proceeded to tell her that it was however a perfect diet. That the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. Since the food is nutritionally complete, I was going to try it again.

--- I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story. ---

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned.

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

Because you AND Nek kept asking.

Hey Ennairda - since you and Nek and Lihp (because he happened to be there) were asking...

It's 620 days from the day I was born to the day my sister was born.

That's 1 year, 8 months, and ten days.
Or for you parents out there that's 19 months and 10 days.


Which is equal to about 53,568,000 seconds, or about 892,800 minutes, or around 14,880 hours. Give or take-ish.

Don't worry, these calculations were not done through the scientific genius of Annamath. Rather I used the time and date duration calculator.

I don't know why, but I like that calculator very much...

Turn the heat UP!

I am so not ready for the winter. I am solar-powered and the thought of cold and snow and raw and leafless trees is FLIPPING me out!

This was taken from my kitchen window.
Looking out over my backyard.

That's like four feet of drifted snow.
Gad!









Remind me again why I don't live in Hawaii?

One Man's Trash...

Is another man's treasure!

First things first: Did you read the one about the guy who fell into a vat of chocolate last week? Yeah, he was stuck in a vat of melted chocolate and in order to get him out of the gooey muck they had to thin out the goo with cocoa butter.

I bet his girlfriend was THRILLED to see him later on that night!

Chocolate dipped boyfriend, they should all come like that.

Then the second item comes from Rob about a chocolate Virgin Mary.

Hmmmm.

It would seem that a gourmet chocolatier out near Hollywood found a chocolate Virgin Mary under a vat of chocolate.

I've seen the photos and personally I don't see it. At first glance I thought it looked more like an owl, or a falcon. But what the f*ck do I know.

Here is the link to the story and pics: Chocolate Virgin Mary

Every now and then...

This was sent to me by my dear friend Muffy.
You may have seen it before.
But it makes me laugh everytime.
I mean really, who hasn't thought this at least once!

Well I guess THAT explains it!

Turns out the rank smell coming off the Charles River is an algae.

A nasty poisonous algae.

Fatal if consumed in enormous quantities, but a teacupful will just give you the trots.

Which quite frankly I always thought was true about Charles River water.

Ugh, yuck!

Sometimes ignorance IS bliss

I am trying to enroll at the University of Massachusetts here in Boston.

It is my theory that UMass-Boston could be a terrific school for Bostonians. However I swear that the school is really just an incubator for Boston politicians.

And you know how I feel about them.

One day I went to drop off my transfer application. I bring it to one office, they send me to another office, and the attitude was really one of I should go f*ck myself because clearly I am a major inconvenience.

Oh yeah and even though I am there for about 15 minutes it's six bucks to park because they've decided to go flat fee on the parking rates.

Then I have to go in a different day and drop off my program application. I've carefully filled in all the boxes and go to the program department to turn it in.

The brusque woman who takes my application glances at it and tells me I need to provide a personal statement. Even though in the personal statement area it clearly says to complete only for school of management and for nursing.

But there is no pointing that out to her, as far as she is concerned I can just go f*ck myself until I turn in an application complete with personal statement.

This trip takes me 20 minutes and six more dollars, plus the $25 fee for the application. Oh yeah and ANOTHER $25 for re-admission into the school.

Then there was the boring and useless orientation that really wasn't much different from the informational session I had to attend when I first wanted to apply ($6 and $6). But I still had to sit through it and listen to brusque lady tell us how fabulous she was and how terrific the program is and how once she got there, she never left.

Ugh.

So now I am trying to log onto the completely user-UNFRIENDLY college web. It is the product of web designer who went crazy and forgot that they were creating a system that ordinary people have to use. So basically it is a completely useless system for all but about 20 people.

I was supposed to log on and do some registration confirmation crap.

I plugged in my user name and password. An error message popped up telling me to change my password.

Ok.

But I can't use any of my past 24 passwords.

Or any variation of my name.

And it has to be at least 8 characters.

And one character has to be a number.

And one character has to be capitalized.

And one character has to be the letter M for Menino.
(just kidding on that last one)

Plus you have to change the stupid password like every fourteenth use.

I am just not that smart.

It's hard. I want to support my local school. I agree with the theory. However, dealing the school is similar to dealing with the city. I have the same allergic reaction when I go to do business at city hall.

Get in and get out - that's what I say.

Vroom!! Vrooom!!!

There is a reason I drive (drove) a Satan-mobile beater.

It's because otherwise I would have my licensed revoked for speeding.

When I was 18 I drove a friend's car home from a post-prom party. I think the car was a Mercedes. Whatever it was it sat at 80mph like I was gliding along at 40 and it felt great. Like crack. One hit and all you wanted was more.

So I drive (drove) a beater that wheezes and shudders at 65mph and avoid temptation altogether.

Unlike the State Attorney General in New Jersey.

As it turns out not only does she have a leadfoot, but she's had 12 speeding tickets, 4 bench warrants for her arrest, and her license has been suspended 3 times.

You can see why she wanted to help out her boyfriend who had been busted for speeding himself.

A special investigation determined that she violated state ethics laws by fixing her boyfriends speeding ticket.

Duh.

I think that the last line of the CNN article sums it up quite nicely:

"She is incapable of leading the fight against official misconduct and abuse of power because her conduct indicates that she does not even recognize what those things are," said state Republican chairman Tom Wilson.

No sh*t

Going for gold.

Hopefully I never get sued by AOL for spamming because it would really piss my Mom off if they dug up her backyard.

Just like Davis Hawke's mom.

AOL successfully sued Mr. Hawke for sending millions of spam emails to AOL customers. AOL was awarded $12 million bucks for the trouble but have yet to collect a penny.

(By the way, do you think any of the spammed customers will see a penny? I dowdit!)

Anyway, somehow AOL has gotten it in to their head that Mr. Hawke buried a crapload of gold and platinum bars in his parents backyard. And they plan to did them up.

How much do you want to bet that his folks have already dug 'em up and squirreled 'em out once they heard of AOL's plans...

AOL will be digging shortly and I think it'd be a hoot to go see what they turn up.

Money can't make some people happy.

In fact it seems to me that money makes people stupid.

There is a story on Boston.com today that makes me laugh. It's about a rich couple from California who moved to Hingham.

Hingham is an old seaside on the coast south of Boston. For a long time it has been a pretty exclusive old money sort of town. Lots of houses in Hingham have little plaques on the front with the date they were built.

Let's just say you don't see many 1977's or 1981's.

The problem is that to get to being old money, you have to first be new money. Old money folks can't cope with new money folks, because no one likes to be reminded of their humble beginnings. It's a vicious cycle really.

Then like any wealthy town, there are the no money folks, the shopkeepers and waitresses and receptionists and town employees.

It's the only thing that old and new money can do together, look down on the no money people.

Anyway, the article I am referring to is about a couple who bought a house on the water. They basically just bought the land, because they promptly tore down the existing structure and put a brand new $1.3 million dollar home.

Happens all the time.

Except that what this couple did was close off the lane that went to the beach in front of their house. They wanted to make it so that only abutters and a few locals could access the beach.

Problem is that no one has put a restriction on access in 20 years. So of course the locals are pissed. Not only that, but the new owners sent their lawyer to talk to the neighbors instead of going themselves.

And the new owners don't get why people are mad.

The way I see it is that if you have that much to spend on a place, buy on a private beach, not near a town where people can just walk over. Because then just anyone can stroll over for a dip.

Don't try to pick and choose which locals can use the beach. If you open it to some people, you're going to have to open it to everyone. It's not like a nightclub, it's friggin' nature!

It's poor form to bulldoze your way into a neighborhood and ram your show of excess down peoples throats. If all your money can't buy you some sugar, then you should expect sh*t to be more difficult for you.

I know plenty of people who've built (in my opinion eye-sore) McMansions, and they've been very nice to their neighbors, and been as sensitive as economically possible so that in the end everyone thinks they've gotten things their way.

And quite frankly it's HINGHAM for crying out loud! What sort of riff-raff exactly are they trying to keep out? Board shorts out, bermuda shorts in? People please!

To Miz. Fabulous - my #1 Fan

Ok, ok, I know that in reality my mother is my number one fan, but I had breakfunch with Miz. Fabulous today and she said she is my number one Sham-fan.

So I had to give her a little sham-love for that. Thanks baby! Love ya!

PS: The blondilocks look makes you look WIKKED hot! Seriously!
Anyone want to meet a very hot schoolteacher with a killer smile? Let me know!
Naughty! Naughty!

Union fraud? Duh!

I think it's funny that anyone is surprised that the longshoremen's local is under indictment for payroll fraud.

It's like getting Al Capone for tax evasion.

Unions can't help but be corrupt in some way. It's the nature of the beast really. Unions all suffer from the same affliction of greed that their union members are supposed to be protected from.

If the longshoremen union was honest, they would have reported the member who put his 2 year old son to work on the payroll. Because that is worker exploitation to the extreme.

He lied? Really? Get out!

The Boston Geraldo is really going to town on the Modern Memo Scandal over at the Bawstin Gloob.

For the 94.5% of you who have no clue what the hell I am talking about, here is a brief synopsis:

1st - A great big concrete panel fell from the ceiling of a Big Digsaster tunnel, killing a woman.

2nd - A political showdown ensues while traffic turns into a massive clusterf*ck.

3rd - Everyone tries to fix the problem while blaming each other.

4th - A international man of mystery releases a memo that he wrote back in the day (when he was the safety dork at Modern Continental) saying that the tunnels were in fact made out of curds and whey and god help us all.

5th - The Bawstin Gloob publishes this Modern Memo and is all high and mightily proud.

6th - Modern Continental (gasping carcass of a business these days) wheezes back to life just enough to say the memo is a fake.

7th - The Boston Geraldo has multiple orgasms at their sudden good fortune.

8th - The Boston Geraldo figures out that the int'l man of mystery is actually from a little town east of Southie called Galway. Where he didn't attend university or serve in the military like he said he did.

9th - An Irish guy taking the mickey on a bunch of uptight Bawstin blowhards - seems like something I've seen before...

I can't wait to see where this is going to end up.

And the Big Dig still sucks!

So after discovering that the bolts are duct taped in, Metro Mitt had some safety tests done. Sounds like the test was the kind where they sort of tugged on the concrete panels to see if they'd come tumbling down.

Sort of like testing a newly erected swing set by having a few goes on it yourself before Junior gets a go.

Well now Bechtel (the engineers behind the Big Digsaster construction) informed Metro Mitt that safety testing the concrete slabs is making them unsafe.

Get the f*ck out! Really?

Well if you ask me, that is just bad engineering.

When a Hummer just won't do.

A recent article in the Noo Yolk Times pointed out that there is whole new leisure class in the skies: those who upgraded right up and out of first class and straight into private class.

Yep. These days having a super-cocoony Escalanche drive you right up to your private jet is the only way to travel darlings. Simply the only way! Damn the costs! Fuel conservation? That's for losers baby!

Huh.

You know, they say that Warren Buffet used to travel anonymously in economy class and this is the guy who is so friggin' rich he gave his money to Bill Gates to get rid of it. Not only that, but his kids are rich so that he doesn't even have to sort out an inheritance to leave them.

Compared to a money manager who feels entitled to fly private class, I'd rather put my money in Buffet's hands any day.

In this day and age, it just sort of seems like such a dreadful waste. But then, maybe that's just sour grapes.

Well, no, I prefer flying in a big BIG plane that has a lesser chance of smashing apart into tiny bits on impact.

Here's a question.

Did anyone else notice that the Charles River smelled unusually bad yesterday?

I know that I am supposed to "love that dirty water" but yesterday (Monday 8/7) it smelled like a rotten egg stuffed into a moldy sock wrapped in a sweat-soaked jock strap that had been tied to a corpse and left in the midday sun.

Yuck.

Stupid Tuesdays

Ok - so I am at a loss today.

Can someone please post a link to a funny story?
Or post a joke?

I think last night's Dark n' Stormy's messed with my funny bone.

Fo'shizzle.

One last joke for the weekend.

A rabbi walks into a bar with a real beauty of a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender says: Nice! Where'd you get that?

And the parrot says: Brooklyn! There's hundreds of 'em!

What!!! That's NOT funny!

I watched "The Aristocrats" again today.

I wish I were a comedian so that I could tell my version of that joke to someone. Because if you just tell it to a random person they are going to think you are not at all funny. In fact they'd likely call the cops and take away your kids.

Billy Connolly is hilarious for the simple fact that he cannot keep a straight face - ever!

Sarah Silverman keeps a completely straightface.

The South Park version is worth thr rental.

Made me laugh. Hit the spot perfectly.

Satan's Revenge

A few posts down I was sort of making fun of the Satan-Mobile.

The reason that you should never, never, never tease Satan is that his revenge is swift and to the point.

Today, running late as usual, I went out to the car and guess what?

F*cker wouldn't start.

Of course.

The dash lights all come on, and when I turn the ignition it just goes click click.

Of course.

Satan, I hate you, but I am sorry! I swear!

I will never make fun of the Blue Bomber again!

PS: Anyone out there know how to make it go click click VRROOM?

I love parrot jokes.

This was originally sent to me by my friend El Presidente. I still think it's f*cking hilarious.

*********************************

A lady is walking down the street to work and sees a parrot in a pet store.

She stops to admire the bird but the parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

Well, the lady is furious and storms off to work.

On the way home she sees the same parrot in the window and the parrot upon seeing her says, "Hey lady, you are still really ugly."

She is incredibly ticked now and stomps her way home.

The next day on the way to work she again sees the same parrot and again it says, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

The lady is so steamed that she storms into the store and threats to sue the store and have the bird killed.

The store manager apologizes profusely and promises the bird will never say it again.

The next day, the lady walked past the store and the parrot squalks, "Hey lady."

She pauses with an icy stare, "Yes?!".

The bird, strutting back and forth on its perch in a cocky manner, says, "You know!"

George W. Bush - What the..?!?!?

My friend Johnny K is back from vay-cay and all I can say is "IT'S ABOUT TIME BRO!"

Glad you're back to blogging handsome!

Ok, so maybe you are wondering about the JK-GWB connection?

Well a while back he posted this link to a comparison between GWB from about ten years ago with the current GWB 2.0

JK suggests that stress could be a factor, I suspect that cocaine & alcohol have something to do with it.

You decide: GEORGE W. BUSH 1994 vs GEORGE W. BUSH 2004

only 900 more days left!

Super 88 - It's a SUPER market!

I love the Super 88 market.

Smells like a fishermans foot, sells economy sized boxes of Pocky, and for less than $20 I can walk out with quite a bit of food.

Today's trip cost me about $17.64.

I got rice noodles, pho base, a big bag of juicy black plums, 2 packages of waffle cookies, a bag of instant ca phe sue packets, a bottle of soy sauce, a bunch of cilantro, five limes, a tub of fresh tofu, and some other things that now I can't remember.

Yay Super 88!

Why I don't want to go home today.

I am afraid to leave the office today.

The office temperature is about 43 degrees.
The outside temperature is about 93 degrees.

Something bad is going to happen when I go outside, I just know it.

Earlier when I went out to get some lunch, going from inside to outside, created an instant layer of condensation on my skin.

No it was NOT sweat.

Can't wait to get into Satan's Automobile though.

Further Misadventures in Satans Automobile

As some of you may know, I drive Satan's automobile.

Not that the car is possessed or anything, it's just that if Satan were to emerge from Hell and roam the earth, he would do so in the Blue Bomber.

Why? Well let's just say that the Bomber lacks air conditioning and the heat vents are missing the clamps that regulate the heat flow. When I drive, sometimes it feels like Satan's dog is sitting under the steering column, panting at me.

So yesterday when I was sitting in traffic heading back in to Boston on the Expressway, it was pretty toasty.

I would like to extend a special shout out to the man driving the truck beside me who said "hey, why are your windows down? Why don't you have the ac on? What are you crazy?"

After I said "too bad for me, the ac is broken", he offered me a beer.

Besides, Satan won't let me run the ac.

Push it, you know you want to.

Ugh, the Staples Easy button.

Yeah, I pushed it.

Nothing happened though.

Bummer.

Hollywood ADHD

At first I thought the whole Mel Gibson "is a misogynist, an alcohol soaked bigot who drives around hammered" story pretty funny.

But now I am annoyed at the all the stone throwers who think Mel should be run out of Hollywood on a rail. So what if he is an insensitive racist anti-semite bible-thumper. Hmm, sounds like most of the White House admin to me.

Let's have a looky-loo around Hollywood, see who all else should be run outta town on that rail shall we??

Well, how about Angelina Jolie. She knew Brad was married to Jen, but what did she do? She went after him anyway. Do the math, they were certainly dorking while Brad & Jen were still hitched. Just because she buys third world babies doesn't make her smell more like a rose.

President George W. Bush was arrested for driving sh*tfaced in Maine back when he was 30. And one time he said that he hadn't used coke since 1992, but then another time he claimed to have not tooted a little coke since 1974. Ummmm ok.

What about Hugh Grant who picked up a cross-dressing hooker even though he was dating Elizabeth Hurley. Hmmm, who else picks up whores? Eddie Murphy did. So did George Michael.

Michael Jackson anyone? He sees no problem in sleeping with little boys. Ick. Ick. Ick. But I don't see anyone throwing out their Thriller albums.

Yeah, everyone can just calm down about Mel. He's an actor and a fruitloop. Now he's in rehab and taking all the fun out it.