For the past three weeks I have been suffering from a head full of snot.
Sounds as gross as it feels.
I am convinced that it is allergies. This same thing happened last year.
Or maybe I just get a wikked bad cold every 12 months.
Anyway, for three weeks I have been STUFFED UP. Every inhale is followed by an annoying whistling-flappery noise, and a dementia inducing sinus tickle.
My sleep has been fitful at best, and when I wake up in the morning my throat hurts and swallowing causes my eardrums to flex inward and press on my shriveled brain.
In my current vernacular it's "nod preddy".
I've taken enough Sudafed to technically stay awake and not operate heavy machinery for the next three months.
And one more Tylenol will put me into liver failure.
So when my co-worker suggested snorting up a faceful of Zicam Intense Sinus Relief, I said "oday". Never mind that the internet is awash with reports of Zicam users losing all sense of smell and scary stuff like that.
Preventing sinus pressure from building in my brain and likely making my eyeballs shoot out of my skull was worth losing my already crappy sense of smell.
She also warned me that the initial blast of Zicam was going to hurt like a major mutherclucker.
Well I blasted the dose up my "node" and nothing.
It turned out that the snot ball in my head was so big the spray went right into the booger and not onto the sensitive sinus tissue, preventing the crippling pain I'd been warned about.
And so for the first 45 minutes after that initial squirt - nothing.
And then all of a sudden I could fully sniff. I was SO excited I kept sniffing like a well trained drug beagle.
Which was immediately followed by a searing, burning pain across the front of my face.
But, hey, the pain is temporary.
And it is now about 8 hours after the first spray and I am still giddily sniffing through BOTH nostrils.
No more a-choo!