Item 1: If you are stupid to begin with, smoking pot will only make you more so.
Like poor dumb Daniel Paul Steinbach. He got high, then went out into the street and flagged down the po-po. Waved them on over and asked to be taken to a house on a hill. The police gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked him if he was on medication, to which he said no, he'd been smoking marijuana.
Only people who are high will seek out the police and say dumb sh*t like that.
Item 2: Gay toddler buys pink Nissan
That just so speaks for itself. And I will only add that I do think that Mommy has some 'splaining to do.
Item 3: PETA vs. Six Flags vs. Hissing Cockroaches
There are three donkeys in this situation.
One is PETA, which we all know really stands for People Eating Tasty Animals.
Two is Six Flags for having the worst ad campaigns ever - cockroach eating? Really? And who remembers that weird bald/glasses pervert in a suit who was the spokesman for while? Ick!
And three is any one who eats a cockroach to get into an amusement park for free.
Item 4: Man with Hatchet vs. Alligator.... In MICHIGAN
Who puts a hatchet into the head of an alligator? Apparently crazy people do. This fellow was given an alligator to look after and decided to slay the beast instead of taking it with him when he moved.
I was pretty moved by this article, because that's an awful thing to do to an alligator. But I was struck by one thing, one glaring thing: what they hell was an alligator doing in friggin' MICHIGAN.