Man Humps Water

It's true.

There I am doing my slow laps at the pool, getting high on chlorine, bobbing in the wake of my fellow lane mates, when suddenly there is a great thudding splash.

Well, more like a sploosh.

Followed by a thud. Which certainly sounds weird in a pool.

I find myself getting bobbed into the wall, and the little pool wavelets now have little whitecaps.

WTF is happening?

SPLOOSH

thud

SPLOOSH

thud

I look over and there is a very big man in the next lane who appears to be dry-humping the water.

Or I guess you'd call it wet-humping.

He is grasping a blue float board and he is using both legs together - lifting them up and then smashing them down. Up and down, and up and down. And he is doing his laps this way.

A) It sounds painful

and

B) It looks like sex.