I never ever thought I would ever get tired of celebrity shenanigans.
But holy crapola! Just even saying that makes me feel like I farted in church.
Celebrity ennui has settled across my brain like a fuzzy wet blanket, damn it!
(and yes, I know that I am not supposed have any interest whatsoever about celebs, but my brain requires some sort of mental candy, and quite frankly nothing quite satisfies my gray blob like the Enquirer or People or some other such pap, so back off bub!)
Among the things that have failed to interest me at all:
Nick & Jessica: Splitsville... well duh, only a blind & deaf retard didn't see that coming.
Kimberly & Tallin (who the f*ck are they again??): Started dating last Tuesday, got engaged Saturday, broke up yesterday. Whatever, ho-hum.
Paris Hilton (not the boy Paris): got a monkey-dog thingy, possibly ate a cornflake, consulted with a surgeon about correcting the awkwardly boxy shape of her head. Yeah, yeah, thrillaminute.
Kate n' Tom: Got a sonogram machine to flip out their destined-for-therapy fetus even more. That is friggin' creepy ok. That's not celebrity news, that's a skeleton that should be returned to the closet immediately.
Honestly, even VH-1's Best Week Ever can no longer hold my interest.
Ugh, there is a tear in the cosmic fabric. We need new celebrities.
Time to hose off Hollywood and start fresh.