Thursday, November 03, 2005

November is Glue Month

Be careful where you sit, touch, lick, stand, lean, or otherwise make contact.

The Glue Guns are out.

One guy had his testicles glued to his abdomen by his now ex-girlfriend. He is suing for more than $30,000, though if you ask me this sounds a lot like a Casual Encounter!

Another fella was sat down to pee at a Home Depot and found himself firmly glued to the toilet seat. He is suing, however it sounds like he was more aggravated that no one came to his rescue as they thought he was kidding. Well, duh. It must have been his first visit to the mighty HD because anyone who has been there more than once knows that all HD Employees are contractually obligated to treat ALL customers like a joke. "You wan'a glue gun, well sure, that's row 2, no wait row 22, or wait no, row 32. Oh what tha f*ck, I dunno, ask that guy over there."

And just tonight I saw a guy walking down my street with a bit of brown paper bag stuck to his upper lip. And I KNOW that sh*t is glue-related.

So watch out, if it looks sticky or smells funky - get away.

Oh and yeah you're welcome!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

And writing on someone's back in nailpolish is dang hard, I'll tell you what!!