Sunday, May 11, 2008

10 Reasons Why My Mom Rocks

Personally I love Mother's Day because it is the one holiday each year where I can reflect on how much I appreciate my Mom and not just in return for giving me a present (ie: Christmas, Valentine's Day, birthday...).

My Mom really does rock. And here is why - both my Evil Twin and I came up with this list because well we both think she rocks, but uh, I am the wordy one:

10. While she can occasionally make sweeping and often surprising judgments herself, she raised me and my Evil Twin to be open-minded and non-judgmental. We were raised in what was at the time a pretty diverse neighborhood - black, white, hispanic, gay, straight, whatever - she never put any emphasis on one or the other as being different or bad or special. My mother believes everyone is the same and treats everyone as such.

9. She wants everyone to be happy and always thinks life is wonderful. No, seriously. When I was a kid I used to test her. I would get wildly ugly haircuts, and torment her with absurd ideas of career choices - all she would say was "as long as you are happy". I think now that probably that was a personal mantra to keep her from killing me, but I do believe she meant it as well.

8. She has a super-sexy French accent.

7. Don't let her fool you, she is smart. She knows a surprising amount of interesting tidbits and lots of big words. There are two things you should not do with my Mom: take her to Vegas because I have a feeling that she is a card shark, or doubt her ability to do anything she puts her mind to doing.

6. She could not repeat a joke. Not for one million dollars. If you called her up right now and said "Tell me a joke and I will give you one million dollars", if she didn't hang up on you, she would not be able to do it. She does however think other people are hysterically funny. She thinks this blog is funny, she thinks my Evil Twin is funny (looking maybe.. ahahhaha) and she thinks life in general is pretty funny.

5. She has a farting double standard. She alleges that she doesn't fart. And other people who do are "really grozz". However whenever she lets one slip, it's hilariously funny. I mean, if she ever let one slip...

4. She signs all her notes, emails, and texts with her initials. As in: "blah blah blah, Love XYZ". The exceptions to this rule are Christmas present tags which she signs "Love from Christmas Mousey" or "Love from Guess Who". And birthday cards, which are simply signed "Love Mom".

3. Whenever she makes a meal off the cuff with random items out of the fridge she calls it "plat unique" which I believe is French for "Might taste like poop, might not". A recent chicken-corn-pineapple-bacon melange recently comes to mind, but I am not going to say which "might" column that fell into. I am afraid of never being fed again.

2. Without her I think my Dad would starve to death. Well, not before eating every last thing in the house, right down to the last cornichon. Which he would probably dip in cream.

1. Whenever she calls, she always ALWAYS leaves a message. So not only do I see that her number has popped up on caller ID, but then she leaves this exact message: "Hi Leeeleee! Zis iz your mozer. Call me back!" Uh, really? My mom? Are you sure? Wait, I am being sarcastic. How many other French woman does she think are calling me in a day?And yes, that is the exact message, every time. Except she calls me by my real name because she gave it to me.




So yeah Mom, believe me when I say that you are much loved by two great kids.

And thank you for your unfailing love and support, especially during the ages between 13 to 18.

1 comment:

Stephen said...

Ah zeez is mi fevoret post Evar.

steve