The opposite of a fun way to wake up in the morning.

As you know, I wake up at a ridiculously early hour on the weekends. Clearly there is a bug in the program that needs work.

Today, Saturday, was no different. As soon as it got bright out, I woke up. I lounged about in bed for a bit and then decided to shuffle downstairs to make coffee.

I open my bedroom door and see something blurry flying around down the end of the hallway.

Huh?

Nothing I own or have in my house can fly, so what the f*ck was that??

As I try to process this into my still asleep brain the blurry flurry flies towards me. I panic and bolt back into my bedroom and shut the door.

It is a sparrow and while they might look small on the sidewalk, let me tell you that in the confines of my small hallway a sparrow becomes 10 times its normal size.

Of course the first thing I do is call my mom. Who of course thinks this is hilarious.

Ugh. A very angry sparrow is totally NOT what I wanted to deal with on a Saturday morning. Eventually when it stops flapping I crawl out of my room, open the front window as wide as possible and then wait for the poor thing to fly out.

Which it eventually does, but not before crapping on a few things, bumping into every wall and into the window and then FINALLY zooming out the window.

I wonder if it is just a coincidence then that my car is now covered in bird poop.