Sunday, April 19, 2009

Another year, another chance to NOT run the marathon.

OMFG I will never get the marathoner mentality.

Never, never, never. Ropey looking people in too short, too flimsy shorts wandering around the old town of the Bean with triangular swag bags, three days of race coverage on the nightly news, and those people who plan marathon watching parties.

Let me state again for the record: I WILL NEVER RUN A MARATHON.

This may also have something to do with seeing people piss and poop themselves rather than add minutes to their time.

I know a person who told me he runs the marathon every year. He doesn't train or anything. He doesn't even wear appropriate running clothes, he just goes and runs it. Apparently it takes him between 5 - 6 hours to finish and then he just walks home after. At first I thought he was bullcrapping me, but he has the photos and also his wife told me the same thing. He doesn't even bother getting a number. Ugh. I can't even run to the bus without wanting to vomit.

And believe me, I've tried to learn to love running, but you know what? Some people are just not the runner type. Whenever I try running I am almost immediately out of breath, my shins spontaneously combust, and I have the urge to punch someone in the nose. So probably it is better for everyone in general that I stay far away from the whole runner business.

Oh and PS: a Kenyan will win the marathon. Just in case you didn't already know.

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