Sunday, July 10, 2011

Spiral thinking....

Sometimes I read about something and from there my thoughts spiral out to absurd extremes.

Like when I read about the last space shuttle launch. I thought about how small the astronauts are in comparison to space. And what is space? What is our place in it? Where does it end? And if I can't imagine an end to the universe, how small does that make me? Or an ant for that matter. Is the universe imaginary? And really, what is the meaning of time?

See? It's sh*t like this that typically spirals out of control right at bedtime.

Well, today's gem comes from this article: What's in your navel?

First of all, who isn't curious about what lurks in there. And second of all I am definitely going to be A LOT more diligent about washing it out from now on.

But then my thoughts spiraled out from there and I wound up comparing belly buttons to va-jay-jays.

Oh yes I did.

Let me explain. First of all it occurred to me that most people (I think most do) use the words "belly button". We say it without thinking - belly button, bellybutton, and it kind of rolls off the tongue without notice.

However when you stop to think about it, it's a ridiculous description. A belly........ button? I would understand it more if everyone had an "outie" but this is not the case and in any case navels don't resemble buttons.

This is a button:

This is a navel:

And this is what I am talking about:

If you push the hole left behind by the umbilical cord like a button, it feels weird. Try it and see. Push it like an elevator button. Now smell your finger. That stink means bacteria.

Back to the belly button. Since most people say belly button instead of navel, I thought what other euphemisms for body parts are commonly used? Ears, hair, head, face, lips, eyes, chin, legs, arms, elbows, hands, fingers... we say without hesitation. But then we say belly button instead of navel, vajayjay for vagina, and peeper for penis.

So what I want to know is when the navel got lumped with vagina and penis?


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