This is what your afternoon read would be:
How about the 19 year old stripper (!) who had a "torrid" relationship with a teacher when she was a junior (in high school!) and just 18, who is now suing the high school for allowing their relationship to "flourish". She claims that a teacher she confided asked her out instead (oops!) and still another decided to pop into the strip club (Centerfolds!) where she worked (!) for a lap dance.
Get the f*ck outta here! You cannot make this stuff up.
In other news, two lowly drug dealers shot, dismembered, and cooked their drug wholesaler on account of them owing him $70K and it was just easier to kill him than pay him. Can you imagine if that kind of street thuggery was taken to the executive level? Madoff would have been chuck roast by now.
Meanwhile, over at the Globe, a slightly different news preference prevails: