Ahhhh the Evil Twin still loves me because tomorrow night she is taking me to the Pats pre-season versus the Titans.
My love for the Patriots is purely physical - there is no logic or strategy involved here.
Just walking into the stadium is a visceral experience for me - the music (AC/DC what else), the fat cups of beer, the lights, the militia, the diversity of the crowd...
This is SO not a baseball experience.
I can't wait.
I love football.
GO PATS!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
The Cat Shat
My neighborhood is overrun by feral cats.
All the neighbors got together to have them neutered & spayed and that was the one kitty caca free week in my backyard.
*Sigh*
I would love trap them all and drop them off out in Holyoke, but sadly I just really don't have the time.
(This scheme also includes the two cats that actually belong to people - if you have a cat but can't care for it properly, off it goes to Holyoke!)
Anyway I am first going to try some non-toxic methods to keep the cats away.
Someone suggested that I put out a litter box, but I don't want to be the sh*t station for the whole neighborhood.
Another suggestion was to sprinkle cat food on the area of excrement, the theory being that cats won't eat where they crap, and quite frankly who would. But again, I don't want to encourage them to be there in the first place.
I looked up a few solutions, mostly involving hot pepper which just seems cruel and useless. One idea is to sprinkle the area with grated Irish Spring soap - the shreds of which made my yard smell, well, spring fresh I guess and which puffed up weirdly in the rain.
That kept the cats away for about a week.
But now they are back. And full of poo that they leave for me like little stinky dumplings.
Anyone have any other suggestions? Preferable not of the shoot them, poison them, put them in a bag and toss into the river ilk please!
All the neighbors got together to have them neutered & spayed and that was the one kitty caca free week in my backyard.
*Sigh*
I would love trap them all and drop them off out in Holyoke, but sadly I just really don't have the time.
(This scheme also includes the two cats that actually belong to people - if you have a cat but can't care for it properly, off it goes to Holyoke!)
Anyway I am first going to try some non-toxic methods to keep the cats away.
Someone suggested that I put out a litter box, but I don't want to be the sh*t station for the whole neighborhood.
Another suggestion was to sprinkle cat food on the area of excrement, the theory being that cats won't eat where they crap, and quite frankly who would. But again, I don't want to encourage them to be there in the first place.
I looked up a few solutions, mostly involving hot pepper which just seems cruel and useless. One idea is to sprinkle the area with grated Irish Spring soap - the shreds of which made my yard smell, well, spring fresh I guess and which puffed up weirdly in the rain.
That kept the cats away for about a week.
But now they are back. And full of poo that they leave for me like little stinky dumplings.
Anyone have any other suggestions? Preferable not of the shoot them, poison them, put them in a bag and toss into the river ilk please!
Fun Times Ahead
The reason I haven't posted anything is because I got a new job.
I feel like I have been learning to speak a new language.
Phew!
I feel like I have been learning to speak a new language.
Phew!
The Most Annoying Man on Public Television
If I worked at PBS I would definitely implement a new fund raising strategy.
Their current one SUCKS.
About every three months or so the folks over at WGBH run a fund raising week.
I am not sure which is more irritating -
Scheduling something really interesting just to interrupt every few minutes with donation requests.
OR
One more night in Vienna with Andre Rieu.
Their current one SUCKS.
About every three months or so the folks over at WGBH run a fund raising week.
I am not sure which is more irritating -
Scheduling something really interesting just to interrupt every few minutes with donation requests.
OR
One more night in Vienna with Andre Rieu.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
A Lead Umbrella
That is what my po-po friend told me I would need this summer, since the forecast was for a summer of bullet hail.
And you know, I am thinking he might have been a little bit right.
This morning as I was driving down the street I noticed long strips of yellow crime scene tape roping off the last quarter of the block.
And then I noticed several bloody towels & tee shirts hanging on a fence.
And about eight crime scene/police vehicles double parked.
And a really new looking cop guarding the scene.
And a scattering of yellow tent cards dotting the courtyard.
Seemingly someone got shot, but will survive - I looked for it in the papers but nothing.
Weird.
And you know, I am thinking he might have been a little bit right.
This morning as I was driving down the street I noticed long strips of yellow crime scene tape roping off the last quarter of the block.
And then I noticed several bloody towels & tee shirts hanging on a fence.
And about eight crime scene/police vehicles double parked.
And a really new looking cop guarding the scene.
And a scattering of yellow tent cards dotting the courtyard.
Seemingly someone got shot, but will survive - I looked for it in the papers but nothing.
Weird.
Monday, July 23, 2007
I'll get you my pretty and your little pushcart too!!
The Heraldo is running and article today about the pushcarts being pushed out of Downtown Crossing.
And rumor has it that all the food windows have to close. Heck, maybe they all are already closed....
I get why it is happening - someone at the BRA decided South Endify Downtown Crossing and that means no gritty city crap allowed.
I wonder where Hip Zepi is going to go?
Although if they close Falafel King heads will ROLL!
I sure hope that Downtown Crossing doesn't turn into some overpriced tourist destination mall like Fanueil Hall.
And I know that I am from Boston because I know what hot subway and hot candied nuts smell like in the blustery sea-salty wind that whips damply through the buildings. And you only smell that smell in Downtown Crossing.
And rumor has it that all the food windows have to close. Heck, maybe they all are already closed....
I get why it is happening - someone at the BRA decided South Endify Downtown Crossing and that means no gritty city crap allowed.
I wonder where Hip Zepi is going to go?
Although if they close Falafel King heads will ROLL!
I sure hope that Downtown Crossing doesn't turn into some overpriced tourist destination mall like Fanueil Hall.
And I know that I am from Boston because I know what hot subway and hot candied nuts smell like in the blustery sea-salty wind that whips damply through the buildings. And you only smell that smell in Downtown Crossing.
Friday, July 20, 2007
That's the way the cookie crumbles
Anyone from/living in Boston knows that the city is run by about 6 competent people and about 6800 total boobs.
A handful of these boobs work at the BRA (Boston Redevelopment Authority).
The BRA should been dismantled - it is mostly corrupt and out of touch with the needs of the city. Criticism of the BRA has come up recently due to the fact that they've made some questionable approvals with regard to university expansions in both Roxbury and Brighton.
On a personal level, yesterday they awarded a parcel of land to a neighbor. Let me just say that of all the people in the neighborhood there are two people I don't like and this neighbor is one of them.
Over the years I have watched him as he has slowly turned his house into a dilapidated sh*tbox.
First there was the "roofdeck" he installed. Cobbled together with stair balusters, bits of string, and odd ends of wood, it is mostly now rotted and threatens to blow away in a stiff wind.
Then there was the time he woke everyone at 2am by jackhammering the cement steps off the back of his house - in boxer shorts of all things. Then he built in wooden steps and added on a long corrugated shelter over the stairs, like a big slide off the back of the house.
Not done with the jackhammer, he then turned his attention to the side of his house, jackhammering a big rectangular-ish hole in the exterior wall. Which he then filled in with a piece of wood (to brace the space) and glass block and a wooden shutter.
When the building department came by, they asked him to close it up. He said he would but never did and that was about 5 years ago now. They also told him to sort out the "roofdeck" and that is still there.
So now the BRA looked at his application and decided he was clearly the best candidate for the vacant lot. And yes, I applied also, just to see what would happen.
The BRA has put restrictions on the parcel. It has to remain an open greenspace. And if he wants to build anything on it he has to submit architect plans for approval, and he can't use it for parking - among other things.
If he doesn't comply with these restrictions he will forfeit the property. At least that is what the BRA claims.
I say that is bullsh*t.
He is planning on adding more windows, a deck with an overhang, and a six foot chain link fence.
If it were any number of my other neighbors, I would be more enthusiastic. But because it is this clown with a jackhammer doing the work himself, I am kind of bummed.
As for the permits and plans he needs, I doubt he will complete that part since he has a serious disdain for city authority unless it serves his needs. When they started the street sweeping program, he ran out to the city workers, screaming at them that they were Nazis and took photos of them as "evidence" of their Nazism. Did I mention he is from Germany himself?
He will wreck the parcel just like he has done to the exterior of his house and to the apartment he rented over the winter and like the house he bought in western Mass when he thought he was going to move away.
Way to go BRA!
A handful of these boobs work at the BRA (Boston Redevelopment Authority).
The BRA should been dismantled - it is mostly corrupt and out of touch with the needs of the city. Criticism of the BRA has come up recently due to the fact that they've made some questionable approvals with regard to university expansions in both Roxbury and Brighton.
On a personal level, yesterday they awarded a parcel of land to a neighbor. Let me just say that of all the people in the neighborhood there are two people I don't like and this neighbor is one of them.
Over the years I have watched him as he has slowly turned his house into a dilapidated sh*tbox.
First there was the "roofdeck" he installed. Cobbled together with stair balusters, bits of string, and odd ends of wood, it is mostly now rotted and threatens to blow away in a stiff wind.
Then there was the time he woke everyone at 2am by jackhammering the cement steps off the back of his house - in boxer shorts of all things. Then he built in wooden steps and added on a long corrugated shelter over the stairs, like a big slide off the back of the house.
Not done with the jackhammer, he then turned his attention to the side of his house, jackhammering a big rectangular-ish hole in the exterior wall. Which he then filled in with a piece of wood (to brace the space) and glass block and a wooden shutter.
When the building department came by, they asked him to close it up. He said he would but never did and that was about 5 years ago now. They also told him to sort out the "roofdeck" and that is still there.
So now the BRA looked at his application and decided he was clearly the best candidate for the vacant lot. And yes, I applied also, just to see what would happen.
The BRA has put restrictions on the parcel. It has to remain an open greenspace. And if he wants to build anything on it he has to submit architect plans for approval, and he can't use it for parking - among other things.
If he doesn't comply with these restrictions he will forfeit the property. At least that is what the BRA claims.
I say that is bullsh*t.
He is planning on adding more windows, a deck with an overhang, and a six foot chain link fence.
If it were any number of my other neighbors, I would be more enthusiastic. But because it is this clown with a jackhammer doing the work himself, I am kind of bummed.
As for the permits and plans he needs, I doubt he will complete that part since he has a serious disdain for city authority unless it serves his needs. When they started the street sweeping program, he ran out to the city workers, screaming at them that they were Nazis and took photos of them as "evidence" of their Nazism. Did I mention he is from Germany himself?
He will wreck the parcel just like he has done to the exterior of his house and to the apartment he rented over the winter and like the house he bought in western Mass when he thought he was going to move away.
Way to go BRA!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
My Dream Traffic Nightmare
From the Odds & Ends wire:
CHEESE TRUCK FIRE MAKES FREEWAY FONDUE
Really?
If I was in that traffic jam, sorry, that traffic fondue, I would have thought I had died and gone to heaven.
Especially if the cheese truck had smashed into a toast point truck!
CHEESE TRUCK FIRE MAKES FREEWAY FONDUE
Really?
If I was in that traffic jam, sorry, that traffic fondue, I would have thought I had died and gone to heaven.
Especially if the cheese truck had smashed into a toast point truck!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
The Emperor is Not Wearing Clothes
For the most part I like the police. Most of them anyway.
I know that that there are a few rotten apples and of course like everyone else I hate seeing blue lights in my rear view. And I especially HATE getting pulled over for speeding, especially since I NEVER speed.
And yeah, I think some changes should be made within the BPD, but I also firmly believe in personal responsibility, community engagement and being a good neighbor - all these things help keep neighborhoods safe.
Which means that if you witness a crime, call the cops. If someone is screaming for help, call the cops. If you can drop a dime, drop it. Problems don't solve themselves - desire and effort and work do.
Not everyone agrees with this though.
Lots of folks believe that neighborhood safety falls squarely on the the shoulders of police and politicians and when crime happens it's because the BPD f*cked up. Often these are the same folks who won't cooperate with police, or be witnesses, or report crimes - who then say they are afraid because of all the "bad" cops.
After the year we've been having, there are those who really believe that it's the police department who is at fault that the crime is high and that some murders remain unsolved. And Commissioner Davis takes this sentiment personally.
So now the Commish want to calm the masses with a BPD shakeup - appointing a new head of homicide, among other things.
And everyone is apparently thrilled with this new arrangement. Even if they can't tell the wolf for the sheepskin he is sporting.
Those who are thrilled are overlooking the scary fact - that the person they just put in charge of the homicide unit is a publicity scrounger who vows to impress with numbers.
What? Now that can't be a good idea.
The only way that is going to happen is to have officers make lots of arrests quickly, preferably in time for the 11'o clock news. Or the morning edition.
And it's a big problem when he encourages his officers to arrest the most guilty looking person - oh wait, I mean the person who looks like the most probable cause of trouble, because the arrest-first-sort-thing-out-later method sometimes results in finding out your "perp" was really hanging out with a cop, at Boston cop no less. Read about that HERE.
Like I said, everyone is thrilled, except for dedicated "good" cops who believe in doing things the right way rather than the easy way and for the folks at the DA's office who know that prosecuting crime is not at all like you see on Law & Order - that prosecuting crime takes time and patience and sometimes disappointment.
But you know what, until a crime happens to you personally, you can't imagine what it would be like to be ground through the system just to then find out that the police made an arrest for show and that the real culprit was still out there, getting away with it.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Best Breakfast in Boston
Ok, well my friends are going to kill me, but eh whatever.
Since Mike's is now waaaaaayyyyyy over-rated and over-populated we went to Jaks on Northampton Street, down by Harrison Ave - right next to LiquorLand.
And you can park at LiquorLand, but you just need to get a sticker from Jaks.
Seriously - great breakfast and lots of food for cheap.
Check out their menu HERE
Since Mike's is now waaaaaayyyyyy over-rated and over-populated we went to Jaks on Northampton Street, down by Harrison Ave - right next to LiquorLand.
And you can park at LiquorLand, but you just need to get a sticker from Jaks.
Seriously - great breakfast and lots of food for cheap.
Check out their menu HERE
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
VROOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!
I went to see Transformers this weekend and LOVED it - well almost all of it.
All of it except about 10 minutes in the big fight scene that dragged the ending out like a drunken party guest at 3am.
However what I really wanted after I left the theater was one of these:
VRRRRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!
All of it except about 10 minutes in the big fight scene that dragged the ending out like a drunken party guest at 3am.
However what I really wanted after I left the theater was one of these:
VRRRRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!
Friday, July 06, 2007
How to Get a Free Punch in the Stomach
My Mom called me up today to pass on a story of something that happened to a co-worker today.
Seemingly this co-worker was taking the train today along with a woman with a dog who was carrying a large suitcase.
Who knew you could take a dog on the T, but whatever.
Anyway, Co-Worker watches as the Suitcase Lady is chatted up by a fellow male passenger. As they are getting off the train at Park Street, the FMP offers to help her with her suitcase. He inquires about the contents of this unwieldy case and she replies:
"Electronics"
To which he responds by punching her in the stomach, grabbing the case, and taking off.
Whoops!
But really the "whoops" is on him.
Turns out the Suitcase Lady was either a vet or going to the vet (I missed this part of the story) because the contents of the case had nothing to do with "electronics", but instead contained the remains of a deceased dog.
So how was YOUR commute?
Seemingly this co-worker was taking the train today along with a woman with a dog who was carrying a large suitcase.
Who knew you could take a dog on the T, but whatever.
Anyway, Co-Worker watches as the Suitcase Lady is chatted up by a fellow male passenger. As they are getting off the train at Park Street, the FMP offers to help her with her suitcase. He inquires about the contents of this unwieldy case and she replies:
"Electronics"
To which he responds by punching her in the stomach, grabbing the case, and taking off.
Whoops!
But really the "whoops" is on him.
Turns out the Suitcase Lady was either a vet or going to the vet (I missed this part of the story) because the contents of the case had nothing to do with "electronics", but instead contained the remains of a deceased dog.
So how was YOUR commute?
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Best Lunch on a Sh*t Hot Day
Evil Twin and I went to Farm Grill & Rotisserie today for lunch. It's this Greek place over in Snoootun, complete with pictures of Greece and white statuettes every where.
I got a Greek salad with gyro chicken - the sad remains of which are pictured below. It was sooo delicious that I almost bit off my own hand trying to get a picture.
And then I also got a dose of Galaktobouriko which comes out sounding a little bit like Galapagos Burrito. But it's kind of like a custardy baklava and is f*cking yummy! I had it once and have craved it ever since.
I think Greek food is the Next Big Thing.
And seeing as how I am the Food Psychic you can expect to see the Bohstin Globe feature all things Greek in the next month.
I got a Greek salad with gyro chicken - the sad remains of which are pictured below. It was sooo delicious that I almost bit off my own hand trying to get a picture.
And then I also got a dose of Galaktobouriko which comes out sounding a little bit like Galapagos Burrito. But it's kind of like a custardy baklava and is f*cking yummy! I had it once and have craved it ever since.
I think Greek food is the Next Big Thing.
And seeing as how I am the Food Psychic you can expect to see the Bohstin Globe feature all things Greek in the next month.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Mumbles vs Guns - Someone is Shooting from the Hip Again!
Oh for the LOVE of PETE! Mumbles Menino has declared a "war" on illegal guns.
That is fighting violence with violence basically.
Menino should not be allowed to talk in public, or to the public, or in general really. When he is in an agitated state he gets loud and incoherent and spittle-ly.
So while Menino was off on some junket in La-La-land a 7 year old shoots an 8 year old. And there is nothing the Mayah hates more than being out of town when the sh*t hits the fan.
Which means that Bostonians can expect some blustery knee jerk reaction. Which apparently is going to manifest itself as a "WAR" on illegal guns.
I hope it's all SWAT team, helicopters, searchlights, dogs, helmets, vests, battering rams, and oh yeah don't forget - big guns!
And now that it's about 42 millions degrees with 97% humidity I bet tempers start flaring raaaather quickly.
I am not sure what kind of relief there could be, but I doubt if being all finger pointy and puffed chesty is going to help at all.
That is fighting violence with violence basically.
Menino should not be allowed to talk in public, or to the public, or in general really. When he is in an agitated state he gets loud and incoherent and spittle-ly.
So while Menino was off on some junket in La-La-land a 7 year old shoots an 8 year old. And there is nothing the Mayah hates more than being out of town when the sh*t hits the fan.
Which means that Bostonians can expect some blustery knee jerk reaction. Which apparently is going to manifest itself as a "WAR" on illegal guns.
I hope it's all SWAT team, helicopters, searchlights, dogs, helmets, vests, battering rams, and oh yeah don't forget - big guns!
And now that it's about 42 millions degrees with 97% humidity I bet tempers start flaring raaaather quickly.
I am not sure what kind of relief there could be, but I doubt if being all finger pointy and puffed chesty is going to help at all.
Note to self - Don't eat the grout
I am trying to tackle a VERY ambitious mosaic grouting project and now I HATE grout.
It looks like Marshmallow Fluff, has about the same consistency, and I really want to put some on a Ritz cracker along with some peanut butter.
But that's because I am a little high from leaning over this dumb project inhaling the fumes.
Stupid stuff - you schmeer it on, push it in, let it set up and then wipe it off. Sounds SOOOO easy.
Hah!
If I was just trying to grout little square mosaic squares I think this would be a much easier process, but nooooooooo. I have to try my hand at a multi dimensional grouting project.
Gah. I need a nap.
It looks like Marshmallow Fluff, has about the same consistency, and I really want to put some on a Ritz cracker along with some peanut butter.
But that's because I am a little high from leaning over this dumb project inhaling the fumes.
Stupid stuff - you schmeer it on, push it in, let it set up and then wipe it off. Sounds SOOOO easy.
Hah!
If I was just trying to grout little square mosaic squares I think this would be a much easier process, but nooooooooo. I have to try my hand at a multi dimensional grouting project.
Gah. I need a nap.
Monday, June 25, 2007
The Most Expensive Pants EVAH!!!!!
I have sort of been following that story of the Washington DC guy who sued his dry cleaner for $54,000,000 for f*cking with his pants.
Roy Pearson took the adage about a customer being right to the extreme and tried to take the cleaners to the cleaners.
This case has completely fascinated me - how on earth could anyone justify $54 million dollar pants? I don't think that I have the nuts necessary to take that kind of claim to court, but that's just me.
Today however a judge threw the case out. About time anyway.
Now Pearson has to pay all the legal fees. Which means those pants are going to cost him several hundred thousand dollars. Way more that the $29 bucks he spent on them at TJ Maxx.
Maybe he should Ebay them - recoup some of that moolah.
Roy Pearson took the adage about a customer being right to the extreme and tried to take the cleaners to the cleaners.
This case has completely fascinated me - how on earth could anyone justify $54 million dollar pants? I don't think that I have the nuts necessary to take that kind of claim to court, but that's just me.
Today however a judge threw the case out. About time anyway.
Now Pearson has to pay all the legal fees. Which means those pants are going to cost him several hundred thousand dollars. Way more that the $29 bucks he spent on them at TJ Maxx.
Maybe he should Ebay them - recoup some of that moolah.
I think he meant "Bongo Hits 4 Jesus"
The Supreme Court today told this kid that he couldn't fly a banner at his school that read "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" because it promoted drug use. The kid just said it was a non-nonsensical saying.
Uh, are you kidding?
"Bong Hits 4 Jesus" means to smoke marijuana out of a bong in the name of Jesus. Duh.
But why bother smoking pot in the name of someone so unappreciative?
Why not "Bong Hits 4 Jerry Garcia"? Or "Bong Hits 4 Cheech"?
I mean really, "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" is like "Bong Hits 4 Rumsfield" - a buzz kill man.
Uh, are you kidding?
"Bong Hits 4 Jesus" means to smoke marijuana out of a bong in the name of Jesus. Duh.
But why bother smoking pot in the name of someone so unappreciative?
Why not "Bong Hits 4 Jerry Garcia"? Or "Bong Hits 4 Cheech"?
I mean really, "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" is like "Bong Hits 4 Rumsfield" - a buzz kill man.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Yeah, Dan Shaugnessy IS a bonehead.
Thanks to Universal Hub I was alerted to the fact that other people also think that Dan Shaughnessy is a bonehead.
Hey! What can I tell you, I don't really like the Bohstin Glowb. I can barely read the Food Section, never mind the Sports pages. So my knowledge of who is who and what they write and basically most stuff about the Red Sox is beyond me.
However I do think that Dan Shaugnessy is a bonehead because one time he stole my soda.
A friggin' 25 cent soda. What a chump.
Hey! What can I tell you, I don't really like the Bohstin Glowb. I can barely read the Food Section, never mind the Sports pages. So my knowledge of who is who and what they write and basically most stuff about the Red Sox is beyond me.
However I do think that Dan Shaugnessy is a bonehead because one time he stole my soda.
A friggin' 25 cent soda. What a chump.
SCHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOPPPPPPP
That is the sound of me getting sucked into a sand hole.
Yep, evidently they pose a greater danger than sharks. Read about it HERE.
Which is why I haven't posted diddleysquat in about 3 weeks.
I was busy digging my way back up from China.
Yep, evidently they pose a greater danger than sharks. Read about it HERE.
Which is why I haven't posted diddleysquat in about 3 weeks.
I was busy digging my way back up from China.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Starbucks - The Surrogate Office
Today I went to Starbucks.
I will confess that I am more of a Dunkins girl, but my Evil Twin had called me urgently telling me that something crazy was going on at the Starbucks over on Storrow Drive.
A little corporate craziness was afoot and I had to check it out for myself.
I usually associate Starbucks with oversized couchy chairs, big mugs, Missed Connections, and Macs. Not at all so at this particular Starbucks!
This is the Starbucks where people who've been downsized go to "work" when they can't tell their spouse that they are technically no longer actually employed.
I couldn't stop staring. There were deals being made on the sidewalk out front, folks with complicated looking blueteeth contraptions clapped to their ears, job interviews being conducted in comfy chairs, lots of keyboard keys being poked at urgently....
It was weird - it was like being in an office. An office with a really comprehensive cafeteria!
PS: The Starboobies are a gift. Who doesn't love a little subtle ta-ta graffti?
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
It appeals to my sense of adventure.
There is a hole in the ground over by Copley Place would appear to drop you straight into New York City.
If only it were that easy.
I would definitely go more often.
If only it were that easy.
I would definitely go more often.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Parking with the Spirit
Last week my Evil Twin and I were in her car and she was about to park on Comm Ave.
Blinker is on, car is in reverse so presumably the little white lights in the rear are on, and there's no traffic so she begins to reverse into the space. I will also put it out there that both my sister and I are city girls and KNOW how to parallel park without hesitation, yo!
Suddenly a bonehead from Connecticut come bombing up the road and comes to a screeching halt behind her - well maybe not screeching because Connecticut cars don't screech, they politely come to a stop and offer you a Bremner Wafer before asking you to move.
Anyway this knucklehead rolls down the passenger side window and screams:
"WHAT IN THE CHRIST ARE YOU DOING??!?!?!"
Huh?
Reverse lights on, blinker on, backing up, angling the car toward the curb...... hmmmm......
"HAIL MARY WE ARE PARKING THE F*CKING CAR!!!!"
Blinker is on, car is in reverse so presumably the little white lights in the rear are on, and there's no traffic so she begins to reverse into the space. I will also put it out there that both my sister and I are city girls and KNOW how to parallel park without hesitation, yo!
Suddenly a bonehead from Connecticut come bombing up the road and comes to a screeching halt behind her - well maybe not screeching because Connecticut cars don't screech, they politely come to a stop and offer you a Bremner Wafer before asking you to move.
Anyway this knucklehead rolls down the passenger side window and screams:
"WHAT IN THE CHRIST ARE YOU DOING??!?!?!"
Huh?
Reverse lights on, blinker on, backing up, angling the car toward the curb...... hmmmm......
"HAIL MARY WE ARE PARKING THE F*CKING CAR!!!!"
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Brockton ROX!
Ok I will be the first to admit that until about two weeks ago I was like "Brockton? Blegh!"
Brockton has this kind of grody reputation that is only half deserved. Parts of it are sort of grody, but other parts are actually pretty cool and funky.
And I am irrationally biased against the word "Brockton" which is often pronounced "Brawk-tin". Ugh. "Brawk-tin Rawks" Gah.
My Evil Twin's friend Andy manages the Brockton Rox.
A few weeks back he invited us to a Patriots Charity Softball match hosted by Kevin Faulk and not only did we get to shake hands with the likes of Laurence Maroney (friendly!), Rosevelt Colvin (charming), Ben Watson (shy!), and Ellis Hobbs (party boy!) but we also got to meet the militia who fire the muskets for the home game touchdowns - very exciting!
Since we had a great time at that event, saw that Campanelli Stadium was an actual stadium and not some dusty concrete sun trap, and were basically treated really well by staff that actually seems to enjoy what they do, we figured why the heck not go to the Brockton Rox home opener.
Well for one thing the game was on a Friday night at 7pm.
Ok, it's the Friday night of Memorial Day weekend and for one thing traffic was AWFUL and matters were not helped when Evil Twin said "this traffic's not so bad" just before we came around the bend into bumper to bumper traffic about 3 miles up from the Braintree split. If yer from heah, you know exactly what I am talking about. If not, well there are no words to adequately express that kind of frustration.
So instead of trying to get down to Brockton via 93 to 95 to 24 to 123, we cut through Weymouth and took 18 to 123. Sounded simple enough huh.
And we were making ok time until an unfortunate left turn was further compounded by a erroneous right and we ended up in the sh*ttiest part of Brockton.
So we stopped at a crappy little gas station, which smelled alarmingly overpoweringly like gasoline, and where the attendant gave my boobs directions and where PeanutButterJellAmy bought a banana to further confound the attendant.
Then just as we thought we were on the right road, the road was suddenly closed by the fire department because suddenly something was on fire...
Just when we were deciding to head back to Boston, or to anywhere else but Brockton, we magically stumbled across Campanelli Stadium.
Why press on you ask? Just to give you an idea of why this is worth it:
Parking - $5
Tickets behind homeplate - $12
Concessions - ~$15 per person, we were hungry.
And the game was actually exciting - there was a heckler behind me who kept me in stitches, bases were just barely stolen, a couple of thrilling slides into home, a sequined Neil Diamond impersonator to lead the crowd through Sweet Caroline at the seventh inning and fireworks after the game.
I would definitely go again.
And if you get a chance you should too. At the most you are going to be out like $20. And if you don't drive, there is public transportation down from Boston and back.
Go Rox!
Brockton has this kind of grody reputation that is only half deserved. Parts of it are sort of grody, but other parts are actually pretty cool and funky.
And I am irrationally biased against the word "Brockton" which is often pronounced "Brawk-tin". Ugh. "Brawk-tin Rawks" Gah.
My Evil Twin's friend Andy manages the Brockton Rox.
A few weeks back he invited us to a Patriots Charity Softball match hosted by Kevin Faulk and not only did we get to shake hands with the likes of Laurence Maroney (friendly!), Rosevelt Colvin (charming), Ben Watson (shy!), and Ellis Hobbs (party boy!) but we also got to meet the militia who fire the muskets for the home game touchdowns - very exciting!
Since we had a great time at that event, saw that Campanelli Stadium was an actual stadium and not some dusty concrete sun trap, and were basically treated really well by staff that actually seems to enjoy what they do, we figured why the heck not go to the Brockton Rox home opener.
Well for one thing the game was on a Friday night at 7pm.
Ok, it's the Friday night of Memorial Day weekend and for one thing traffic was AWFUL and matters were not helped when Evil Twin said "this traffic's not so bad" just before we came around the bend into bumper to bumper traffic about 3 miles up from the Braintree split. If yer from heah, you know exactly what I am talking about. If not, well there are no words to adequately express that kind of frustration.
So instead of trying to get down to Brockton via 93 to 95 to 24 to 123, we cut through Weymouth and took 18 to 123. Sounded simple enough huh.
And we were making ok time until an unfortunate left turn was further compounded by a erroneous right and we ended up in the sh*ttiest part of Brockton.
So we stopped at a crappy little gas station, which smelled alarmingly overpoweringly like gasoline, and where the attendant gave my boobs directions and where PeanutButterJellAmy bought a banana to further confound the attendant.
Then just as we thought we were on the right road, the road was suddenly closed by the fire department because suddenly something was on fire...
Just when we were deciding to head back to Boston, or to anywhere else but Brockton, we magically stumbled across Campanelli Stadium.
Why press on you ask? Just to give you an idea of why this is worth it:
Parking - $5
Tickets behind homeplate - $12
Concessions - ~$15 per person, we were hungry.
And the game was actually exciting - there was a heckler behind me who kept me in stitches, bases were just barely stolen, a couple of thrilling slides into home, a sequined Neil Diamond impersonator to lead the crowd through Sweet Caroline at the seventh inning and fireworks after the game.
I would definitely go again.
And if you get a chance you should too. At the most you are going to be out like $20. And if you don't drive, there is public transportation down from Boston and back.
Go Rox!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
The OTHER dimension
Sometimes when I am looking for something that I could have sworn was right there one minute ago, I am convinced it's been sucked into that OTHER dimension.
Turns out it's been getting sucked in to a GIANT RING OF MATTER.
Yeah, sometimes thinking about the universe and how big it is and how big two clusters have to be to crush together to create a GIANT RING OF MATTER blows my frickin' pea-brain.
Turns out it's been getting sucked in to a GIANT RING OF MATTER.
Yeah, sometimes thinking about the universe and how big it is and how big two clusters have to be to crush together to create a GIANT RING OF MATTER blows my frickin' pea-brain.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Something is wrong in the universe.
Today the westbound lanes of the Mass Turnpike were jammers while the people in the eastbound lanes just sailed by. Basically is was busier heading OUT of the city instead of IN.
What the f*ck is THAT all about???? On a Monday morning???
This trend is also occurring in traffic heading north into Boston on 93 at 5pm.
It used to be that traffic coming IN to the city during the morning rush hour was the b*tch, as was the traffice heading OUT. Now it's all reversed.
I blame global warming.
What the f*ck is THAT all about???? On a Monday morning???
This trend is also occurring in traffic heading north into Boston on 93 at 5pm.
It used to be that traffic coming IN to the city during the morning rush hour was the b*tch, as was the traffice heading OUT. Now it's all reversed.
I blame global warming.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Wait a minute! Where's me jumpah?
There is a nightclub a few block from where I live that has been closed for a little while now.
The owner is currently trying to sell it and transfer the liquor license. There was meeting to talk to the neighbors about this plan and some neighbors are for it, others against it - almost everyone though thought the new owner was a bit shifty.
I know that there are many reasons for and against having a night club in a primarily residential neighborhood - everyone has an opinion.
Personally, I don't care but last night a female patron from the other neighborhood nightclub (we've got two plus a "gentleman's" club) squatted and peed on the sidewalk.
Two things about that: GROSS! and GREAT! that she managed sh*tfaced to pee on the ground. I can't do that - stone cold sober and I would STILL piss on my ankle.
The owner is currently trying to sell it and transfer the liquor license. There was meeting to talk to the neighbors about this plan and some neighbors are for it, others against it - almost everyone though thought the new owner was a bit shifty.
I know that there are many reasons for and against having a night club in a primarily residential neighborhood - everyone has an opinion.
Personally, I don't care but last night a female patron from the other neighborhood nightclub (we've got two plus a "gentleman's" club) squatted and peed on the sidewalk.
Two things about that: GROSS! and GREAT! that she managed sh*tfaced to pee on the ground. I can't do that - stone cold sober and I would STILL piss on my ankle.
Seasonal Disorder
Ok so realistically it's only May 11th.
But the recent spell of fine weather means that everything has bloomed and gone green. Well mostly everything - somethings are still branchy, which then makes them look dead.
And they really aren't dead, it is just still kind of early in the season, and they are just taking their sweet time.
Which reminds me that spring and fall aren't so much seasons as kerfuffles that winter and summer go through to get here.
Seriously.
But the recent spell of fine weather means that everything has bloomed and gone green. Well mostly everything - somethings are still branchy, which then makes them look dead.
And they really aren't dead, it is just still kind of early in the season, and they are just taking their sweet time.
Which reminds me that spring and fall aren't so much seasons as kerfuffles that winter and summer go through to get here.
Seriously.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Stuff you never remember in time....
So after some yoohoo banged up the Shampagne Super Nova I had to rent a car. Because quite frankly I am not going to take two buses for over an hour just to get to work in the morning.
I went to the local Enterprise car rental agency and got the cheapest car they had. But because I don't carry collision on my own car, I had to make sure I had it for the rental.
So I bought it the extra insurance. Boy am I stupid.
Turns out I already have it with the credit card I used to pay for the freakin' car.
And of course the woman at Enterprise was like "well that's not our problem and there is NOTHING we can do about it now".
Ugh.
Next time it's anyone BUT Enterprise.
I went to the local Enterprise car rental agency and got the cheapest car they had. But because I don't carry collision on my own car, I had to make sure I had it for the rental.
So I bought it the extra insurance. Boy am I stupid.
Turns out I already have it with the credit card I used to pay for the freakin' car.
And of course the woman at Enterprise was like "well that's not our problem and there is NOTHING we can do about it now".
Ugh.
Next time it's anyone BUT Enterprise.
Lost and Found
This is the first season that I have actually followed the show Lost on a regular basis.
And I have to say that I kind of find it addictively maddening.
People can't seem to figure out if these characters are in purgatory, in heaven, in another dimesion, or on Fantasy island (I can just see Ricardo Montalban stepping out of the jungle cooing about the fabulousness of real Corinthian leather....)
And really I cannot see where this story line is going - I have this mental image of a bunch of flipped out writers, typing away madly in some Hollywood office, hoping to figure it out themselves before the network cancels the show and forces them to end the series by claiming it was all a dream, or in the imagination of an autistic boy....
Anyway, everyone has a theory, including me. I think that the series is based on the song Lost in the Supermarket by The Clash.
See if you can follow:
"I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality"
The survivors all thought they were escaping Australia - "special offer". Then they were all hiding or masking who they really are until the crash made their true personality come out "a guaranteed personality".
"I wasn't born so much as I fell out
Nobody seemed to notice me
We had a hedge back home in the suburbs
Over which I never could see"
They fell out of the sky, rescuers can't find them ("notice them") and the "hedge" is a well guarded perimeter.
"I heard the people who lived on the ceiling
Scream and fight most scarily
Hearing that noise was my first ever feeling
That's how it's been all around me"
The people on the ceiling are those weird invisible people chewing monsters that they first had to deal with that made some freaky noise.
"The kids in the halls and the pipes in the walls
Make me noises for company
Long distance callers make long distance calls
And the silence makes me lonely"
The pipes in the walls would be the hatch and the long distance caller making a long distance call is your one Naomi (I think that's her name) who parachuted in with a satellite phone.
Are you with me so far? Makes sense sort of huh.
AND there is no resolution to the song really either.
Hmmmmm....... I think I am onto something here.
And I have to say that I kind of find it addictively maddening.
People can't seem to figure out if these characters are in purgatory, in heaven, in another dimesion, or on Fantasy island (I can just see Ricardo Montalban stepping out of the jungle cooing about the fabulousness of real Corinthian leather....)
And really I cannot see where this story line is going - I have this mental image of a bunch of flipped out writers, typing away madly in some Hollywood office, hoping to figure it out themselves before the network cancels the show and forces them to end the series by claiming it was all a dream, or in the imagination of an autistic boy....
Anyway, everyone has a theory, including me. I think that the series is based on the song Lost in the Supermarket by The Clash.
See if you can follow:
"I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality"
The survivors all thought they were escaping Australia - "special offer". Then they were all hiding or masking who they really are until the crash made their true personality come out "a guaranteed personality".
"I wasn't born so much as I fell out
Nobody seemed to notice me
We had a hedge back home in the suburbs
Over which I never could see"
They fell out of the sky, rescuers can't find them ("notice them") and the "hedge" is a well guarded perimeter.
"I heard the people who lived on the ceiling
Scream and fight most scarily
Hearing that noise was my first ever feeling
That's how it's been all around me"
The people on the ceiling are those weird invisible people chewing monsters that they first had to deal with that made some freaky noise.
"The kids in the halls and the pipes in the walls
Make me noises for company
Long distance callers make long distance calls
And the silence makes me lonely"
The pipes in the walls would be the hatch and the long distance caller making a long distance call is your one Naomi (I think that's her name) who parachuted in with a satellite phone.
Are you with me so far? Makes sense sort of huh.
AND there is no resolution to the song really either.
Hmmmmm....... I think I am onto something here.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Yogurt is ALIVE
My two favorite writers are Ellen Gilchrist and Laurie Colwin.
I picked up "In the Land of Dreamy Dreams" at the Goodwill this weekend, and of course read it through in one sitting instead of doing laundry as planned.
And then because it was late and I needed something quick, I turned to my favorite food writer Laurie Colwin for a little inspiration. Sadly Laurie died at the age of 48 about 10 years ago, but her writing easy and earthy and her recipes always work out for me.
Especially her yogurt recipe.
Basically it calls for bringing milk to the boil, letting it simmer for two minutes, letting it cool for about 20 minutes (or until 110 degrees), whisking in some plain yogurt (1 tablespoon yogurt to two and a half cups milk), putting it all into a glass jar, wrapping the jar in a towel or scarf (it's a yogurt babushka!), and letting it sit over the pilot light all night. In the morning stick it in the fridge and in the afternoon - TA DA - yogurt!
It's delicious stuff.
Although I will confess that first taste was the hardest. I wasn't positive that I wasn't going to be stricken with some savage yogurt food poisoning ailment that would send me to the crapper for a few days...
But I've made it twice now, and so far so good.
I picked up "In the Land of Dreamy Dreams" at the Goodwill this weekend, and of course read it through in one sitting instead of doing laundry as planned.
And then because it was late and I needed something quick, I turned to my favorite food writer Laurie Colwin for a little inspiration. Sadly Laurie died at the age of 48 about 10 years ago, but her writing easy and earthy and her recipes always work out for me.
Especially her yogurt recipe.
Basically it calls for bringing milk to the boil, letting it simmer for two minutes, letting it cool for about 20 minutes (or until 110 degrees), whisking in some plain yogurt (1 tablespoon yogurt to two and a half cups milk), putting it all into a glass jar, wrapping the jar in a towel or scarf (it's a yogurt babushka!), and letting it sit over the pilot light all night. In the morning stick it in the fridge and in the afternoon - TA DA - yogurt!
It's delicious stuff.
Although I will confess that first taste was the hardest. I wasn't positive that I wasn't going to be stricken with some savage yogurt food poisoning ailment that would send me to the crapper for a few days...
But I've made it twice now, and so far so good.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Thanks Evil Twin
I just have to say that I am so very fortunate that I have an Evil Twin who gets it when I say I kicked someone's puppy.
Who will drive me to work even if it means going to work an hour early herself.
Who will make fun of my unfortunate taste in men, but ease the pain with pitchers of Bloody Mary's.
Who has the same breakfast-for-dinner schedule as me.
Who introduces me to all the cool things I know about - especially to Friendly Toast. FRIENDLY TOAST!!! FRIEEEEEENNNNNDLY TOOOOOAST!!!!!!!!!!! And to great mascara.
Who is the only person in the world who can jolly me into good humor with coffee, a donut, and a coupla puppy kicks.
Really, life is all about winning the sibling lottery.
Makes everything, especially Mondays, SO much better.
Who will drive me to work even if it means going to work an hour early herself.
Who will make fun of my unfortunate taste in men, but ease the pain with pitchers of Bloody Mary's.
Who has the same breakfast-for-dinner schedule as me.
Who introduces me to all the cool things I know about - especially to Friendly Toast. FRIENDLY TOAST!!! FRIEEEEEENNNNNDLY TOOOOOAST!!!!!!!!!!! And to great mascara.
Who is the only person in the world who can jolly me into good humor with coffee, a donut, and a coupla puppy kicks.
Really, life is all about winning the sibling lottery.
Makes everything, especially Mondays, SO much better.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Why I like C-Span.
My first exposure to C-Span was not a great one. Quite frankly I thought it was about as boring as watching paint dry.
But now that I have a less vague understanding that what happens on C-Span will eventually trickle down into my everyday life, I am a little bit more interested.
The other week (month maybe) I was watching testimony of bee keepers in regard to the dying off of millions of bees.
Sounds so ordinary huh - but go figure that bees are generally responsible for pollination. So if there are no bees, who is going to pollinate all those crops and stuff.
All these bee keepers gave this bewildered testimony on how they couldn't figure out how all their bees were leaving the colonies and not coming back.
Read about it here: Science Daily
It's actually pretty scary, the failure of this one little insect has serious global ramifications. I guess I won't be swatting at them this summer!
But now that I have a less vague understanding that what happens on C-Span will eventually trickle down into my everyday life, I am a little bit more interested.
The other week (month maybe) I was watching testimony of bee keepers in regard to the dying off of millions of bees.
Sounds so ordinary huh - but go figure that bees are generally responsible for pollination. So if there are no bees, who is going to pollinate all those crops and stuff.
All these bee keepers gave this bewildered testimony on how they couldn't figure out how all their bees were leaving the colonies and not coming back.
Read about it here: Science Daily
It's actually pretty scary, the failure of this one little insect has serious global ramifications. I guess I won't be swatting at them this summer!
Monday, April 23, 2007
Like the swallows in Capistrano, the "birds" are back at BU
Along Storrow Drive there is this sort of bi-level grassy green embankment right at Boston University.
As soon as it is spring and the thermometer registers anything over 65 degrees, all the college girls and boys swarm the grassy banks to sunbathe within feet of this major roadway.
Let me tell you, this has the same effect on cars as that big pothole I mentioned earlier.
Drivers get distracted by all the skin glare and start swerving all over the place and into each other and slow down to about 25 miles an hour. This creates an inbound traffic mess that is often compounded by afternoon Red Sox games and then made even worse in late May/early June when the moving trucks begin jamming themselves under the BU bridge.
Hubcaps a-flying, horns a-honking - it's definitely springtime here in Beantown.
As soon as it is spring and the thermometer registers anything over 65 degrees, all the college girls and boys swarm the grassy banks to sunbathe within feet of this major roadway.
Let me tell you, this has the same effect on cars as that big pothole I mentioned earlier.
Drivers get distracted by all the skin glare and start swerving all over the place and into each other and slow down to about 25 miles an hour. This creates an inbound traffic mess that is often compounded by afternoon Red Sox games and then made even worse in late May/early June when the moving trucks begin jamming themselves under the BU bridge.
Hubcaps a-flying, horns a-honking - it's definitely springtime here in Beantown.
Crash, bang, allakazaam!!
The next time you want to have a demolition derby, rent a U-Haul van.
Turns out that if you crash into a parked car, you will get off scott-free.
That was my experience anyway - some dingaling went crash!bang!allakazaam! into the back The Shampagne Super Nova, taking the rear bumper and the tail light assembly all off.
And then took off.
The police don't do anything except take a report which seemingly goes nowhere and U-Haul was like "eh, we'll look into it and get back to you".
And the two kids driving the van were like "so long suckah!"
And I am left holding the bag, facing a car repair bill that will likely cost more than the car is worth.
Which has me thinking that glueing the bumper back on with a tube of liquid nails is not the worst idea ever.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Hub(caps) of the Universe
I was driving west on Storrow Drive today, and just before the train/BU bridge I noticed about a million hubcaps in a heap on the side of the road.
Well maybe not a million.
But enough to notice. And to maybe make a couple of bucks on Ebay for sure.
I was wondering why there was a cluster of caps, and then when I came around the bend just after the bridge I saw about 3 or 4 cars pulled over. Each one had a flat front drivers side tire.
Weird.
Then I remembered that there is a pothole that borders the median divider and the left side of the left lane.
I guess it is more of a pot-holy-hell-what-the-f*ck-was that!?!?! than an actual pothole.
Be careful out there people. And make sure you have AAA.
Well maybe not a million.
But enough to notice. And to maybe make a couple of bucks on Ebay for sure.
I was wondering why there was a cluster of caps, and then when I came around the bend just after the bridge I saw about 3 or 4 cars pulled over. Each one had a flat front drivers side tire.
Weird.
Then I remembered that there is a pothole that borders the median divider and the left side of the left lane.
I guess it is more of a pot-holy-hell-what-the-f*ck-was that!?!?! than an actual pothole.
Be careful out there people. And make sure you have AAA.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Running a marathon
Running a marathon is something I have no plans to ever try.
Running from point A to point B over a distance of 26.6 miles sounds like the opposite of fun to me, but clearly it is fun times for over 25,000 other people.
Let me tell you - I was once at the starting area for the Marine Corps marathon down in DC, and I saw people pissing just out in the open. Women, men, everyone - just pulling their running shorts to the side and peeing on the grass.
Gross.
And who can ever forget Uta Pippig running along with poop and blood running down her leg back in 1996. Ew.
This is not a sport for normal people.
But for those running the Boston Marathon today, I hope you all make times that make you happy.
Running from point A to point B over a distance of 26.6 miles sounds like the opposite of fun to me, but clearly it is fun times for over 25,000 other people.
Let me tell you - I was once at the starting area for the Marine Corps marathon down in DC, and I saw people pissing just out in the open. Women, men, everyone - just pulling their running shorts to the side and peeing on the grass.
Gross.
And who can ever forget Uta Pippig running along with poop and blood running down her leg back in 1996. Ew.
This is not a sport for normal people.
But for those running the Boston Marathon today, I hope you all make times that make you happy.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
It's never WHAT you know, it's WHO you know.
The BRA sold a piece of land worth $2,000,000 to the Islamic Society for $175,000.
That smells like vieux fromage to me.
And now a Jewish advocacy group is suing. As they should.
The BRA is the Boston Redevelopment Agency. They manage city owned property. Their transactions, especially with religious groups, should be public record.
Don't get me wrong, I am not against building a mosque.
But not when you need keep your deals with the city a secret to get the job done. It makes you look like you are trying to hide something.
That smells like vieux fromage to me.
And now a Jewish advocacy group is suing. As they should.
The BRA is the Boston Redevelopment Agency. They manage city owned property. Their transactions, especially with religious groups, should be public record.
Don't get me wrong, I am not against building a mosque.
But not when you need keep your deals with the city a secret to get the job done. It makes you look like you are trying to hide something.
Monday, April 09, 2007
I am kicking myself in the a**
This is a true story from once when the Evil Twin, a bunch of other people, and myself went camping.
We were standing in the parking lot waiting for the group to gather and Evil Twin had her hiking boots dangling off the back of her knapsack and she was swaying back and forth getting the boots to bounce off her butt.
I don't know why she was doing this and I didn't ask, the family has a don't ask/just keep watching policy which is pretty effective.
So she is bouncing the boots off her bum and she is sing-song saying "I am kicking myself in de ass. Kicking myself in de ass!" Over and over again.
And as she is doing this, there is this family piling out of a mini van beside us, with a couple of ankle-biters among them.
One of the frumpy mums comes over to Evil Twin and says: "Please don't say ass in front of my kids"
We all kind of look at this woman like she's just crapped in the punch bowl - first off we were there first, and secondly it's not like she was saying "you mutherf*ckers I am going to break your asses with my bloody boots! Gaarrrr!!!!"
Then we look at Evil Twin because this is her rumble and one nod from her and we'd gladly throw the woman a Dorchester Sneakah Pahty.
But the Evil Twin is still bouncing the boots off her bum, only now she is saying: "I am kicking myself in de anus! Kicking myself in de rectum! La la la la laaa lah la"
Which, from the looks of Frumpy Mum, is not what she had in mind!
We were standing in the parking lot waiting for the group to gather and Evil Twin had her hiking boots dangling off the back of her knapsack and she was swaying back and forth getting the boots to bounce off her butt.
I don't know why she was doing this and I didn't ask, the family has a don't ask/just keep watching policy which is pretty effective.
So she is bouncing the boots off her bum and she is sing-song saying "I am kicking myself in de ass. Kicking myself in de ass!" Over and over again.
And as she is doing this, there is this family piling out of a mini van beside us, with a couple of ankle-biters among them.
One of the frumpy mums comes over to Evil Twin and says: "Please don't say ass in front of my kids"
We all kind of look at this woman like she's just crapped in the punch bowl - first off we were there first, and secondly it's not like she was saying "you mutherf*ckers I am going to break your asses with my bloody boots! Gaarrrr!!!!"
Then we look at Evil Twin because this is her rumble and one nod from her and we'd gladly throw the woman a Dorchester Sneakah Pahty.
But the Evil Twin is still bouncing the boots off her bum, only now she is saying: "I am kicking myself in de anus! Kicking myself in de rectum! La la la la laaa lah la"
Which, from the looks of Frumpy Mum, is not what she had in mind!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
I know how Keith feels
Turns out that Keith Richards was playing an April Fools prank when he said that he inhaled his pappy with a toot of coke.
But no one got it. He had to tell everyone it was a joke.
That is the funny part - the fact that Keith snorted his dad's ashes was more believable than the fact that he was joking.
Dude, I know how you feel. No one at work gets my jokes either.
But no one got it. He had to tell everyone it was a joke.
That is the funny part - the fact that Keith snorted his dad's ashes was more believable than the fact that he was joking.
Dude, I know how you feel. No one at work gets my jokes either.
Not worth his salt
There is absolutely no good or real reason to pay Alan Mulally $28,000,000 to be the CEO of Ford Motors.
I understand that the $28 mil is based on a $2,000,000 base salary + stock n' sh*t but whatever, it's still a major chunka change.
Let me just review a coupla reasons why he doesn't deserve it:
1. Ford lost $12 billion last year. $12,000,000,000. That is equal to roughly 3,037,974,682 Friendly Fribbles. Or enough for every single person on Earth to share half a one.
2. Ford stands for Found On Road Dead and sometimes Fixed Or Repaired Daily. And now with the downsizing, that makes Ford employees F*ucked Over Royally Dude.
3. Ford is closing several plants and laying off 30,000 people. He could give each of them $933.00 with that pink slip.
I think a cash reward for a job well done is the best kind of reward, but when did it turn into a cash reward for a crappy job that involves layoffs, plant closings, and billion dollar losses?
If anyone can tell me, and convince me, how this is considered a solid business logic/plan/approach, I will make, bake, and send them 2 dozen oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies. Oatmeal optional.
Because I may not have a terribly solid grasp of standard business policy and procedure, but I do know that if it quacks, floats, and has feathers - it's probably a duck.
I understand that the $28 mil is based on a $2,000,000 base salary + stock n' sh*t but whatever, it's still a major chunka change.
Let me just review a coupla reasons why he doesn't deserve it:
1. Ford lost $12 billion last year. $12,000,000,000. That is equal to roughly 3,037,974,682 Friendly Fribbles. Or enough for every single person on Earth to share half a one.
2. Ford stands for Found On Road Dead and sometimes Fixed Or Repaired Daily. And now with the downsizing, that makes Ford employees F*ucked Over Royally Dude.
3. Ford is closing several plants and laying off 30,000 people. He could give each of them $933.00 with that pink slip.
I think a cash reward for a job well done is the best kind of reward, but when did it turn into a cash reward for a crappy job that involves layoffs, plant closings, and billion dollar losses?
If anyone can tell me, and convince me, how this is considered a solid business logic/plan/approach, I will make, bake, and send them 2 dozen oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies. Oatmeal optional.
Because I may not have a terribly solid grasp of standard business policy and procedure, but I do know that if it quacks, floats, and has feathers - it's probably a duck.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Why mix tapes are a bad idea, nevermind trying to find a cassette player.
My co-worker, Accountant-by-Day sent me this gem from Mitch Hedberg:
_____________________
Some songs have a special meaning for man in regards to a woman.
But this can backfire because maybe the song had deeper meaning to begin with and now it's been cheapened.
"We are the world/We are children/We are the ones who make a better life/So let's keep on giving. "
"Remember that song baby? The night I f*cked you in the pet cemetery?
_____________________
Some songs have a special meaning for man in regards to a woman.
But this can backfire because maybe the song had deeper meaning to begin with and now it's been cheapened.
"We are the world/We are children/We are the ones who make a better life/So let's keep on giving. "
"Remember that song baby? The night I f*cked you in the pet cemetery?
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Gives new meaning to "up your nose with a rubber hose"
Keith Richards is one f*cked up dude.
Now he is claiming that he mixed some cocaine with some of the ashes of his deceased dad and snorted it.
Ew! and why the hell would you do that?
This wasn't even that long ago. This was like in 2002 or 3.
Now he is claiming that he mixed some cocaine with some of the ashes of his deceased dad and snorted it.
Ew! and why the hell would you do that?
This wasn't even that long ago. This was like in 2002 or 3.
Monday, April 02, 2007
You know who are still not married....
Nicollette Sheridan and Mike Bolton!
They really need to start leaking wedding plans.
How awkward is it going to be on the set of "Desperate Housewives" after Eva gets married.
Eva and Tony have been engaged for a shorter time, AND this is the first time they've dated.
Nic and Mike dated ages ago, broke up, did other crap, are now back together, and have been engaged for yonks.
Dum, dum, de dum? I dowdit!
They really need to start leaking wedding plans.
How awkward is it going to be on the set of "Desperate Housewives" after Eva gets married.
Eva and Tony have been engaged for a shorter time, AND this is the first time they've dated.
Nic and Mike dated ages ago, broke up, did other crap, are now back together, and have been engaged for yonks.
Dum, dum, de dum? I dowdit!
Jammin' Grandma
Ok so this is an older story, but hey, it's always gonna be funny.
Some time ago I was browsing through the local Chez Marshalls and kept running across the same two little old ladies shopping.
(great, I have the same taste as little old granny. greaaaaaaaaaaat.)
Anyway, I am in the beauty creams and potions aisle and these two grannies are going crazy with the testers. A squirt of this, a pump of that, having a grand old time.
Then one little biddy says to the other: "I don't know about this one, it goes on a bit sticky" They converse momentarily about this crappy cream then toddle off.
Curious to see which cream could not cut the mustard, I went to have a looky-loo for myself.
Lo and behold they'd been slathering on jam.
Straight outta the jar.
I guess that would explain the stickiness.
Some time ago I was browsing through the local Chez Marshalls and kept running across the same two little old ladies shopping.
(great, I have the same taste as little old granny. greaaaaaaaaaaat.)
Anyway, I am in the beauty creams and potions aisle and these two grannies are going crazy with the testers. A squirt of this, a pump of that, having a grand old time.
Then one little biddy says to the other: "I don't know about this one, it goes on a bit sticky" They converse momentarily about this crappy cream then toddle off.
Curious to see which cream could not cut the mustard, I went to have a looky-loo for myself.
Lo and behold they'd been slathering on jam.
Straight outta the jar.
I guess that would explain the stickiness.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Long live the Pancake Queen
My mother is a number of things: an accurate predictor of snowfall amounts, usually the life of the party unless under the influence of Sudafed and Bloody Mary's, maddeningly opinionated about the length and color of my hair, the most fun person to go to auction with ever... you get the idea.
Turns out that we can add the title of Pancake Queen to that list too.
I mostly see pancakes as an edible sponge for maple syrup. But Mom's pancakes this morning were so delicious I ate a hideous amount of them and now, 12 hours later, I want more.
And I know that if I were to try to make them for myself right now, I would end up with small round disks, suitable more for tiling the bathroom. Might as well just drink the maple syrup out of the jug at this stage.
Turns out that we can add the title of Pancake Queen to that list too.
I mostly see pancakes as an edible sponge for maple syrup. But Mom's pancakes this morning were so delicious I ate a hideous amount of them and now, 12 hours later, I want more.
And I know that if I were to try to make them for myself right now, I would end up with small round disks, suitable more for tiling the bathroom. Might as well just drink the maple syrup out of the jug at this stage.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Wooooo ooooo Weeeeee oooooooo
It the sweet escape!!!!
I love Miss. Gwen Stefani, and even more so now after seeing her on American Idol (I canceled my cable remember - I am watching all sorts of crap).
However, the saxatrumpobophonist next door seems to be taking a break from practice to play Sweet Escape over and over again.
Perhaps he hoping to learn how to play it on the saxatrumpobophone.
I dunno, but I do know that I used to like the wooooooooo oooooo weeeeee ooooooooo and now I am not so sure about that.
I love Miss. Gwen Stefani, and even more so now after seeing her on American Idol (I canceled my cable remember - I am watching all sorts of crap).
However, the saxatrumpobophonist next door seems to be taking a break from practice to play Sweet Escape over and over again.
Perhaps he hoping to learn how to play it on the saxatrumpobophone.
I dunno, but I do know that I used to like the wooooooooo oooooo weeeeee ooooooooo and now I am not so sure about that.
My favorite four letter "F" word
Free!!!
Like the Boston Community Change Card.
There are a bunch of merchants around the Boston area that are part of the program and basically you swipe your card to get rebates and earn donations that can be applied toward the non-profit or school of your choice. Be a good citizen just for shopping, how awesome is that!
And it's free! Sign up now: SIGN UP FOR A CAHD
So, so, so SO wrong. Wrong!
It kills me that this ad makes me laugh out loud.
Especially since it is for such a crappy product. But it totally made me laugh AND I am kinda curious about french fried chicken.
Especially since it is for such a crappy product. But it totally made me laugh AND I am kinda curious about french fried chicken.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
The Saxatrumpobophone - Part 2
It sort of sounds like Kenny G is smoking crack and playing the saxatrumpobophone next door.
Who plays like that?
My heart is beginning to race from listening to those speedy scales he is racing through!
Phew!
Who plays like that?
My heart is beginning to race from listening to those speedy scales he is racing through!
Phew!
Monday, March 26, 2007
Waaaaauuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnn
That is the noise that my neighbor makes on his saxatrumpobophone.
I am not entirely positive what instrument it is but sometimes it sounds like Kenny G, other times it's just a couple of notes over and over and over and over and over again.
Usually I can sort of tune it out and quite honestly the repetitive notes sometime lull me to sleep. But last night my Evil Twin came over with take out and we're just digging in when the sound begins.
At first I don't notice it at all but I realize that my sister is sort of staring at me, her head cocked and her ears up. My mom has the same pose when she is trying to hear if my dad is in the kitchen sneak-eating ice cream straight out of the container.
That's when I hear it too - waaaaaaaauuuunnnnnn
She is still trying to figure out if it's her phone, or a bagpipe, or a dying loon, or god knows what.
And I am pissing my self from laughing so hard!
Once the four notes begin, well we just lose it completely.
At least it's not the drunken rendition of Billy Joel's entire songbook at 4am the neighbors on the other side likes to whip out on occasion.
I am not entirely positive what instrument it is but sometimes it sounds like Kenny G, other times it's just a couple of notes over and over and over and over and over again.
Usually I can sort of tune it out and quite honestly the repetitive notes sometime lull me to sleep. But last night my Evil Twin came over with take out and we're just digging in when the sound begins.
At first I don't notice it at all but I realize that my sister is sort of staring at me, her head cocked and her ears up. My mom has the same pose when she is trying to hear if my dad is in the kitchen sneak-eating ice cream straight out of the container.
That's when I hear it too - waaaaaaaauuuunnnnnn
She is still trying to figure out if it's her phone, or a bagpipe, or a dying loon, or god knows what.
And I am pissing my self from laughing so hard!
Once the four notes begin, well we just lose it completely.
At least it's not the drunken rendition of Billy Joel's entire songbook at 4am the neighbors on the other side likes to whip out on occasion.
Funny how things can go from teeny tiny to ten ton.
Ok - so back in February I got pulled over for a burned out headlight.
Truthfully I didn't think I would get a ticket. The policeman asked me for my license and registration, took about 20 minutes to write up a ticket and then handed it over to me and drove off.
The only other time I got pulled over was about 10 years ago when I went through a yellow light and got a lengthy lecture about the perils of running yellow lights - not helping matters was the fact I was with two of my girlfriends and we'd just come back from the beach and were all wearing bathing suits!
But anyway, I send the ticket in for appeal because quite frankly the officer should have just told me to fix it and bring the car by the station the next day to show that it was fixed. Apparently that is the usual deal.
(Here in Massachusetts if you get a moving violation, no matter what it's for, it goes on your record and pushes up the cost of your insurance for something like seven years.So everyone appeals, no matter what.)
After a while I begin to wonder about this ticket that I sent in. Not hearing from the court is just as bad as hearing from them.
To make a long and boring story short:
- The court mailed me a hearing date, which I didn't get because...
- The post office coded the envelope wrong which resulted in....
- The hearing notice being sent back to the court marked "Undeliverable" which....
- Meant that I unintentionally skipped the hearing which resulted in....
- A notice being sent to the Registry of Motor Vehicles to....
- SUSPEND my drivers license!
In order to fix this problem I had to:
- Go to the clerk's office at the Court and request a second hearing which....
- I was really lucky to get at all! Then I had to take that notice to....
- The Registry of Motor Vehicles stand in line for a ticket to...
- Talk to the Suspension teller who then ...
- Referred me to the Hearing Officer who....
- Put a note in the system to not suspend my license and to...
- Generate a second hearing!
Evidently I have to wait another 4-6 weeks for a hearing, but you can bet that I will be calling the clerk's office every other day in 2 weeks time!
Not to mention the hullaballoo I had to raise at the post office. But that is another post for another day.
This is why people try to evade the po-po.
What a pain!
Truthfully I didn't think I would get a ticket. The policeman asked me for my license and registration, took about 20 minutes to write up a ticket and then handed it over to me and drove off.
The only other time I got pulled over was about 10 years ago when I went through a yellow light and got a lengthy lecture about the perils of running yellow lights - not helping matters was the fact I was with two of my girlfriends and we'd just come back from the beach and were all wearing bathing suits!
But anyway, I send the ticket in for appeal because quite frankly the officer should have just told me to fix it and bring the car by the station the next day to show that it was fixed. Apparently that is the usual deal.
(Here in Massachusetts if you get a moving violation, no matter what it's for, it goes on your record and pushes up the cost of your insurance for something like seven years.So everyone appeals, no matter what.)
After a while I begin to wonder about this ticket that I sent in. Not hearing from the court is just as bad as hearing from them.
To make a long and boring story short:
- The court mailed me a hearing date, which I didn't get because...
- The post office coded the envelope wrong which resulted in....
- The hearing notice being sent back to the court marked "Undeliverable" which....
- Meant that I unintentionally skipped the hearing which resulted in....
- A notice being sent to the Registry of Motor Vehicles to....
- SUSPEND my drivers license!
In order to fix this problem I had to:
- Go to the clerk's office at the Court and request a second hearing which....
- I was really lucky to get at all! Then I had to take that notice to....
- The Registry of Motor Vehicles stand in line for a ticket to...
- Talk to the Suspension teller who then ...
- Referred me to the Hearing Officer who....
- Put a note in the system to not suspend my license and to...
- Generate a second hearing!
Evidently I have to wait another 4-6 weeks for a hearing, but you can bet that I will be calling the clerk's office every other day in 2 weeks time!
Not to mention the hullaballoo I had to raise at the post office. But that is another post for another day.
This is why people try to evade the po-po.
What a pain!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Universal Hub - not a device
I was wondering why I had so many hits on this blog over the weekend.
Turns out that my new crush was revealed on Universal Hub.
Which I realize now is not a computer device but a website of all things Hub (aka: Boston) related.
According to my friend The Doug, that would make me the Sofa King.
Especially as how one dear reader even took the trouble to alert me to that fact.
Well, it's a good thing I am good looking.
Turns out that my new crush was revealed on Universal Hub.
Which I realize now is not a computer device but a website of all things Hub (aka: Boston) related.
According to my friend The Doug, that would make me the Sofa King.
Especially as how one dear reader even took the trouble to alert me to that fact.
Well, it's a good thing I am good looking.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Space Rocks!
Now that I am back to basic cable (Call the Cops, BNN, Thursday night.. must remember!) I have rediscovered the joys of NASA TV.
I forgot how cool it is to watch the interviews from the space station, and how they map the shuttle path as it crosses the skies, and how truly amazing it is that there are fragile little humans in a tin can waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay up in the sky.
Amazing!
Check out this neat website that has a clickable map of photos of the Earth that have been taken by astronauts: Click the Map - you know you wanna!
Earthrise at Christmas - 1968
I forgot how cool it is to watch the interviews from the space station, and how they map the shuttle path as it crosses the skies, and how truly amazing it is that there are fragile little humans in a tin can waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay up in the sky.
Amazing!
Check out this neat website that has a clickable map of photos of the Earth that have been taken by astronauts: Click the Map - you know you wanna!
Earthrise at Christmas - 1968
Friday, March 16, 2007
Snow Day!
It's Friday afternoon, it's practically a blizzard out (yes I know it was 70 degrees on Tuesday) and I am at home watching C-Span!
These congressional hearings and Valerie Plame Wilson's testimony is actually really interesting.
All I need now is a pizza and a six-pack!
These congressional hearings and Valerie Plame Wilson's testimony is actually really interesting.
All I need now is a pizza and a six-pack!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
My new crush!
So I finally cancelled my Crapcast cable service, but I still get local channels.
One of those local channels is BNN (Boston Neighborhood Network) and usually they air these totally wacky, cat-lady singer, two-people yakking, type shows.
Except for tonight I flicked over and it was this show called "Call the Cops" and I am HOOKED.
It was hosted by Officer Jamie Kenneally (who is HOT and HILARIOUS) and I swear it was the best hour of tv I have watched all week. It should be required watching for everyone who thinks cops are aggressive bullies who just want to be mean because this guy is the opposite of that.
Because like I said, Officer Kenneally is HOT and funny and very down to earth - even when his mother called during the show, he answered and told her he would call her right back.
Tonight he hosted the Captain from Southie and they were talking about the upcoming St. Patricks Day parade. I usually avoid going within 5 miles of Southie at St. Patty's day, but if Officer Kenneally is going to be there, I am SO going this year!
"Call the Cops" - watch it next week, Thursday at 7pm. Really, it is your civic duty.
HHHHHHHOTTTTTT!
One of those local channels is BNN (Boston Neighborhood Network) and usually they air these totally wacky, cat-lady singer, two-people yakking, type shows.
Except for tonight I flicked over and it was this show called "Call the Cops" and I am HOOKED.
It was hosted by Officer Jamie Kenneally (who is HOT and HILARIOUS) and I swear it was the best hour of tv I have watched all week. It should be required watching for everyone who thinks cops are aggressive bullies who just want to be mean because this guy is the opposite of that.
Because like I said, Officer Kenneally is HOT and funny and very down to earth - even when his mother called during the show, he answered and told her he would call her right back.
Tonight he hosted the Captain from Southie and they were talking about the upcoming St. Patricks Day parade. I usually avoid going within 5 miles of Southie at St. Patty's day, but if Officer Kenneally is going to be there, I am SO going this year!
"Call the Cops" - watch it next week, Thursday at 7pm. Really, it is your civic duty.
HHHHHHHOTTTTTT!
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Everyone Blames the Unicorn
Face it, when the sh*t hits the fan I know you secretly blame the unicorn.
Just like this man.
Ahhh hahahhahahah!
(Image from Anonymous)
You know he meant it about the unicorn, he just has a really great lawyer.
Just like this man.
Ahhh hahahhahahah!
(Image from Anonymous)You know he meant it about the unicorn, he just has a really great lawyer.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
I would call that a two point conversion
Rumor has it that the delicious munchkin maker known as Tom Brady has scored a two point conversion.
Not only has he poked the hole out of Bridget's donut, but it's rumored that he did the same to Gisele.
If it is true, THAT would be funny!
Not only has he poked the hole out of Bridget's donut, but it's rumored that he did the same to Gisele.
If it is true, THAT would be funny!
Now that Marty Won One
I just have to say that the rat running across the balcony rail at the end of The Departed was too much.
Marty please.
And how come you used the Rolling Stones for mood music? Why not Aerosmith or The Cars?
Since You're Gone would have been a good choice, or Seasons of Wither.
Using the Rolling Stones is so Goodfellas.
Whatev.
Marty please.
And how come you used the Rolling Stones for mood music? Why not Aerosmith or The Cars?
Since You're Gone would have been a good choice, or Seasons of Wither.
Using the Rolling Stones is so Goodfellas.
Whatev.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
1 in 176 million
Of course I bought a Mega Millions ticket for the drawing tonight.
How else am I going to win $300,000,000?
Cha-Ching!
** UPDATE: I didn't win darn it! I was SO ready to become a lady of leisure! ***
How else am I going to win $300,000,000?
Cha-Ching!
** UPDATE: I didn't win darn it! I was SO ready to become a lady of leisure! ***
Baby it's cold outside!
Oh my holy bone chilling cold out Batman!
After being cocooned all day at "work" I dashed out to meet a friend for a drink downtown. The 20 second scurry from the cah to the bah nearly froze the nose off my face.
Blech!
I am ready to move to Barbados baby!
After being cocooned all day at "work" I dashed out to meet a friend for a drink downtown. The 20 second scurry from the cah to the bah nearly froze the nose off my face.
Blech!
I am ready to move to Barbados baby!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Freeeeeeeebiiiiiiird!!!!!!!!!
The Muddy Rudder/Thuddy Rudder/Big John show on Saturday night ROCKED!
Not only was Fanueil Hall awash in uniformed hotness, but the music was fantastic and they raised over $1200 for the orphanage in El Salvador.
The bar even created a special drink called the Big John in honor of the USS JFK that was actually pretty tasty after a while.
My only one regret is that I didn't win the Durgin Park beanpot.
Major bummer.
Not only was Fanueil Hall awash in uniformed hotness, but the music was fantastic and they raised over $1200 for the orphanage in El Salvador.
The bar even created a special drink called the Big John in honor of the USS JFK that was actually pretty tasty after a while.
My only one regret is that I didn't win the Durgin Park beanpot.
Major bummer.
Double Standards Suck
Which is worse:
A) Finding out that your pastor was having sex with a male prostitute, and obtaining and using crystal meth.
OR
B) Finding out that your ACLU chapter president had downloaded child pornography for personal use, consisting primarily of images of the violent rape of very young girls.
Hmmm.
Do the names Ted Haggard or Charles Rust-Tierney ring a bell?
If one doesn't you should be appalled.
A) Finding out that your pastor was having sex with a male prostitute, and obtaining and using crystal meth.
OR
B) Finding out that your ACLU chapter president had downloaded child pornography for personal use, consisting primarily of images of the violent rape of very young girls.
Hmmm.
Do the names Ted Haggard or Charles Rust-Tierney ring a bell?
If one doesn't you should be appalled.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Come out come out wherever you are!!!!!
Two of my favorite things are happening this weekend:
1. The fleet is in. Sort of. Well the USS JFK is in. And that means lots of guys in uniform which I absolutely cannot resist.
2. The Muddy Rudders are playing. Well I think they are calling themselves the Thuddy Rudders due to the fact that they are more percussion this time or something or other. Whatev.
The beauty of this situation is that they are playing at Fanueil Hall, which is where all the uniforms default too. Whoo hoo!
So not only do I get to go see the official band of Shamrag, but I also get to thank our men in uniform personally! Again, whoo hoo!
I should prolly add that they are playing for charity (a South American orphanage) so why the hell not go.
And even if you can't go but still want to give a little Sham-lovin' I will be happy to put bling in the bin for you.
Check 'em out here: Muddy Ruddahs
Freeeeeeeeeeeebiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird!!!!!!!!
1. The fleet is in. Sort of. Well the USS JFK is in. And that means lots of guys in uniform which I absolutely cannot resist.
2. The Muddy Rudders are playing. Well I think they are calling themselves the Thuddy Rudders due to the fact that they are more percussion this time or something or other. Whatev.
The beauty of this situation is that they are playing at Fanueil Hall, which is where all the uniforms default too. Whoo hoo!
So not only do I get to go see the official band of Shamrag, but I also get to thank our men in uniform personally! Again, whoo hoo!
I should prolly add that they are playing for charity (a South American orphanage) so why the hell not go.
And even if you can't go but still want to give a little Sham-lovin' I will be happy to put bling in the bin for you.
Check 'em out here: Muddy Ruddahs
Freeeeeeeeeeeebiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird!!!!!!!!
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Uncle Betty
For some curious reason my neighbor thinks the tv show "Ugly Betty" is called "Uncle Betty".
That makes no sense to me.
Why on earth would it be Uncle Betty?
But then this is the same neighbor who cut down hedges to spite the neighbor who makes us all nuts and in the process cut through her own power cord.
And who freely admits to smoking what I refer to as "copious amounts of ganja" - at the ripe old age of 70+.
Eh, well, to each their own I 'spose.
That makes no sense to me.
Why on earth would it be Uncle Betty?
But then this is the same neighbor who cut down hedges to spite the neighbor who makes us all nuts and in the process cut through her own power cord.
And who freely admits to smoking what I refer to as "copious amounts of ganja" - at the ripe old age of 70+.
Eh, well, to each their own I 'spose.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
She had it, they had it, we had it, you had it, he had it...
Everyone I know has had IT.
The IT in question is the puking-pooping illness, which is believed to be the dreaded norovirus. I say dreaded because it involves spending much time in the crapper feeling, well, crappy.
I bet the sales of Purell are through the roof in this town.
Boston.com has the article here: Stomach Bug
I get a cramp just writing about it.
The IT in question is the puking-pooping illness, which is believed to be the dreaded norovirus. I say dreaded because it involves spending much time in the crapper feeling, well, crappy.
I bet the sales of Purell are through the roof in this town.
Boston.com has the article here: Stomach Bug
I get a cramp just writing about it.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Major Big Boom
Because I can only shoot craps for so long, I went to visit the Atomic Testing Museum during my jaunt west.Firstly, since atomic testing has long since stopped being a tourist attraction no one in Las Vegas has any interest in all things atomic. So no one really had a clue what I was talking about when I said that was where I was heading.
Secondly, it is a really interesting museum! Seriously.
It is extraordinary that this small slice of American history - so dangerous, complicated, fascinating - was engineered by brilliant minds and carried out by ordinary people and had such potential to destroy the entire planet.
I was lucky to be there with only a few others and I wound up getting a personal tour by a lovely gentleman named Dick who had grown up on a rural farm in Ohio, served in Korea, who then went to work at the Nevada Proving Grounds until it closed and who now enjoys his retirement by working as a security guard at the museum.
He was so interesting to talk to and I am lucky it was a slow day.
The top photo is the Trinity device, the first ever atomic test - New Mexico.
This second photo is the Ivy Mike device, detonated on the Enewetak Atoll in the South Pacific.
There was a gallery in the museum with an exhibit of photographs assembled by Michael Light of 100 tests. It's weird to look at the photos and think how lovely they are when you know that you are looking at a poisonous & destructive force.
Phew!
At about that time I was ready for craps again.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Food Other People Eat
The one thing I love about where I am currently temping is that I get to check expense reports - a job that scratches my voyeristic itch.
I don't really care who the person is, if they like to rent XXX movies, or if they drink gallons of bourbon, or if they keep company with a sock monkey.
What I really find fascinating is what people eat when they are on the road.
There is one person who on one road trip ate burgers and chocolate malteds. I forgot that malteds still existed.
Another person only eats chicken and french fries. I've seen days of just chicken and french fries.
Then there is the donut eater. Nothing but donuts and coffee - breakfast, lunch, and dinner!
Don't worry, I don't associate people with the reports they turn in, but it's like when I used to work as a cashier at Star Market and I would be fascinated with the groceries of others.
And another thing, now I know that that there is a major difference between what people eat and what they say they eat!
I bet the Donut Eater would never cop to eating just donuts three meals in a row.
I don't really care who the person is, if they like to rent XXX movies, or if they drink gallons of bourbon, or if they keep company with a sock monkey.
What I really find fascinating is what people eat when they are on the road.
There is one person who on one road trip ate burgers and chocolate malteds. I forgot that malteds still existed.
Another person only eats chicken and french fries. I've seen days of just chicken and french fries.
Then there is the donut eater. Nothing but donuts and coffee - breakfast, lunch, and dinner!
Don't worry, I don't associate people with the reports they turn in, but it's like when I used to work as a cashier at Star Market and I would be fascinated with the groceries of others.
And another thing, now I know that that there is a major difference between what people eat and what they say they eat!
I bet the Donut Eater would never cop to eating just donuts three meals in a row.
Monday, February 19, 2007
I know that it is 19 degrees out.
But if we were all in Ireland and it was 19 degrees that would be the equivalent of 66 Boston degrees.
And then we would all be eating '99s. YUM.
This is a '99:
But for a WAY better picture, click HERE.
(That is really how they are supposed to look, although I do like mine with a dribble of strawberry syrup)
Anyway, a million years ago when I lived in Ireland a 99 would solve a multitude of problems for me. I really could use on right now.
PS: I just noticed that 66 is 99 upside down! Interesting.
And then we would all be eating '99s. YUM.
This is a '99:
But for a WAY better picture, click HERE.
(That is really how they are supposed to look, although I do like mine with a dribble of strawberry syrup)
Anyway, a million years ago when I lived in Ireland a 99 would solve a multitude of problems for me. I really could use on right now.
PS: I just noticed that 66 is 99 upside down! Interesting.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Who's Your Daddy?!?
I will confess that after the big Britney Shave & Tattoo-a-thon, the LAST celebrity scandal I ever expected to hear was that these two pointy-heads are allegedly expecting!!!!
I bet Gisele is THRILLED!
Saturday, February 17, 2007
What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here?
First Anna Nicole kicks it.
Then Britney shaves her head and goes to a tattoo parlor where she is described as being very unhappy, jittery, and tired of people touching her. (Maybe a tattoo wasn't the best thing to do to a person in that state of mind...)
Here is this young woman (25) with two kids, a soon-to-be-ex hubby, a predisposition toward taking off her clothes in nightclub, a preference for going commando and flashing her c-section to the paparazzi. Gee, I wonder why no one will leave her alone?
Quite frankly I think that the only reason she left rehab in Antigua is because the paparazzi were not hanging off the gate.
I am beginning to think that K-Fed left her, not the other way round.
Now I wouldn't be surprised if Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton took their relationship to the next level and had a commitment ceremony this summer in P-Town.
Or if Michael Jackson put his kids on tour this summer billed as "The Jackson 5.2"
Maybe we'll see Mary Kate cave in to the pressure to gain about 6 ounces and eat her sister Ashley in a fit of pique.
Surreality - coming soon to a tabloid near you!
Then Britney shaves her head and goes to a tattoo parlor where she is described as being very unhappy, jittery, and tired of people touching her. (Maybe a tattoo wasn't the best thing to do to a person in that state of mind...)
Here is this young woman (25) with two kids, a soon-to-be-ex hubby, a predisposition toward taking off her clothes in nightclub, a preference for going commando and flashing her c-section to the paparazzi. Gee, I wonder why no one will leave her alone?
Quite frankly I think that the only reason she left rehab in Antigua is because the paparazzi were not hanging off the gate.
I am beginning to think that K-Fed left her, not the other way round.
Now I wouldn't be surprised if Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton took their relationship to the next level and had a commitment ceremony this summer in P-Town.
Or if Michael Jackson put his kids on tour this summer billed as "The Jackson 5.2"
Maybe we'll see Mary Kate cave in to the pressure to gain about 6 ounces and eat her sister Ashley in a fit of pique.
Surreality - coming soon to a tabloid near you!
Friday, February 16, 2007
The Opposite of Fun
In a couple of days I am heading to Vegas-Baby.
I love Vegas. To me it is like going to Pluto: completely alien from anything in my regular life. So yeah, I am pretty excited and I've been looking up things to do.
It's good to go with a plan to be a diligent tourist with goals of seeing crap, but the reality is that once I get there I am going plunk myself down by the pool (hopefully) with a three foot tall drink.
But back to "The Plan".
So far I have plans to go to In-and-Out Burger. This is the chain where every celebrity in Hollywood gets photographed by US Weekly when they are "eating". If it's good enough to faux-eat, it's good enough for me!
Then I would like to see the Atomic Testing Museum. I dunno why, but I am fascinated by the fact that people had to test a bomb that had the potential to wipe out the entire human race. Not only that but then people went to view this event. Extraordinary! And now here I am going to go to the museum about the bomb they had to test to make sure it really could annihilate everything.
Also I would love to swing by the Bellagio to see the Ansel Adams exhibit. His photography makes me want to live in a cabin in the wilderness. Granted I would last about a day seeing as how I am afraid of wildlife, but whatever.
But then I came across the thrill rides at the Stratosphere.
And that brings me to the title of this post. Those rides look like the OPPOSITE of fun to me.
First of all I don't like thrill rides.
I went out on a bad date this summer that involved a roller coaster and a ride ominously called the Psycho. Let's just say that a) I didn't so much scream like a girl (because, hey, I am one!) but rather like a panicked human screaming for dear life, and b) I spent waaaaay too much time trying to keep my belongings from succumbing to a massive and sudden dose of gravitational pull.
And then when I got off the ride I didn't think "oh how fun" but instead thought "who the f*ck would want to do that again?"
The rides at the Stratosphere are positioned about 900 feet off the ground. So you are lashed about on some metal container suspended over the Vegas strip? Really?
Oh hell no!
But yeah, that's about the gist of it.
To provide a frame of reference here, the Prudential is about 750 feet tall. Just the thought of that makes me a little barfy feeling.
The description for this "attraction" reads in part:
I hope that face shields are provided as protection from the vomit that is sure to be propelled out of people who are suffering through 3 "G's" at a 70 degree angle!
Ugh.
I love Vegas. To me it is like going to Pluto: completely alien from anything in my regular life. So yeah, I am pretty excited and I've been looking up things to do.
It's good to go with a plan to be a diligent tourist with goals of seeing crap, but the reality is that once I get there I am going plunk myself down by the pool (hopefully) with a three foot tall drink.
But back to "The Plan".
So far I have plans to go to In-and-Out Burger. This is the chain where every celebrity in Hollywood gets photographed by US Weekly when they are "eating". If it's good enough to faux-eat, it's good enough for me!
Then I would like to see the Atomic Testing Museum. I dunno why, but I am fascinated by the fact that people had to test a bomb that had the potential to wipe out the entire human race. Not only that but then people went to view this event. Extraordinary! And now here I am going to go to the museum about the bomb they had to test to make sure it really could annihilate everything.
Also I would love to swing by the Bellagio to see the Ansel Adams exhibit. His photography makes me want to live in a cabin in the wilderness. Granted I would last about a day seeing as how I am afraid of wildlife, but whatever.
But then I came across the thrill rides at the Stratosphere.
And that brings me to the title of this post. Those rides look like the OPPOSITE of fun to me.
First of all I don't like thrill rides.
I went out on a bad date this summer that involved a roller coaster and a ride ominously called the Psycho. Let's just say that a) I didn't so much scream like a girl (because, hey, I am one!) but rather like a panicked human screaming for dear life, and b) I spent waaaaay too much time trying to keep my belongings from succumbing to a massive and sudden dose of gravitational pull.
And then when I got off the ride I didn't think "oh how fun" but instead thought "who the f*ck would want to do that again?"
The rides at the Stratosphere are positioned about 900 feet off the ground. So you are lashed about on some metal container suspended over the Vegas strip? Really?
Oh hell no!
But yeah, that's about the gist of it.
To provide a frame of reference here, the Prudential is about 750 feet tall. Just the thought of that makes me a little barfy feeling.
The description for this "attraction" reads in part:
"Insanity-The Ride consists of an arm that extends out 64 feet over the edge of the Tower and will spin passengers at up to three 'G's.' As the ride spins faster and faster, the riders are propelled up to an angle of 70 degrees. Riders will experience the thrill of being flung over the edge of the Tower and literally facing downward at the City of Las Vegas below. The ride is programmable with various ride options. An unobstructed view of historic downtown Las Vegas rewards those riders brave enough to experience three 'G's' at a height of more than 900 feet."
I hope that face shields are provided as protection from the vomit that is sure to be propelled out of people who are suffering through 3 "G's" at a 70 degree angle!
Ugh.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
It's a varmint.
Sometimes I wonder if the greatest threat to our airlines isn't deadly less than 3 ounce containers of poison but our own dang selves.
I read today about an American Airlines flight that was diverted because of a stowaway squirrel.
Read what the spokesman had to say:
But Mr. Hotard goes on to refer to all the wiring and all the equipment and operating components above the cockpit as "what-have-you".
What-have-you.
I know that I am not an aeronautical genius but I would like to think that there is a more technical term for airline electronics than "what-have-you".
And secondly, if pilots hear a weird rustling sound in the cockpit and you are flying from Tokyo to Dallas over the Pacific, then DIVERT DIVERT DIVERT!
Because when the NTSB is sieving through the smithereens of a smashed up plane, they are not going to be looking for a squirrel.
And if you think that picture is funny, check 'em ALL out at the Sugar Bush Squirrel website.
I read today about an American Airlines flight that was diverted because of a stowaway squirrel.
Read what the spokesman had to say:
"You do not want a varmint up in the wiring areas and what-have-you on an airplane. You don't want anything up there," said John Hotard, spokesman for the Ft. Worth, Texas-based airline. He said pilots feared the animal would chewed through wiring or cause other problems.
"So, as a precaution, we diverted," Hotard said.
Firstly he used the word "varmint" - really is that the technical term? I dunno about that one.But Mr. Hotard goes on to refer to all the wiring and all the equipment and operating components above the cockpit as "what-have-you".
What-have-you.
I know that I am not an aeronautical genius but I would like to think that there is a more technical term for airline electronics than "what-have-you".
And secondly, if pilots hear a weird rustling sound in the cockpit and you are flying from Tokyo to Dallas over the Pacific, then DIVERT DIVERT DIVERT!
Because when the NTSB is sieving through the smithereens of a smashed up plane, they are not going to be looking for a squirrel.
And if you think that picture is funny, check 'em ALL out at the Sugar Bush Squirrel website.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Screw Y'All Deval
Back in November, compared to the frosty and patrician Kerry Healey, Deval Patrick seemed like the less crappy choice for governor.
Even if his campaign slogan was the mysterious: Together We Can
Which might mean Together We Can: ....Eat Cheese from a Can...... Do the Hokey Pokey........ Mess with Texas........ Drink Whiskey and Sing Shanties... who knows.
Anyway fortunately Boston is a two newspaper town, and we can now judge his first few months in office from two different points of view.
Currently the Boston Herald is reporting about all Gov'ner Deval's missteps, and there've been many. Firstly, he flies around the state in a helicopter (Together We Can Heat The World!) which as far as I can tell hasn't yet been picked up by the Boston Globe.
For the record, Deval is the Globe's Golden Boy. They aren't going to stoop to report on the high-flying Gov - unless of course her name was Governor Jane Swift. But then she was a Republican and you know how the Globe caaaaan't staaaaand those awful Republicans! (Together We Can Elect Someone We Prefer)
Then he appoints all his friends - which is typical of every governor (Together We Can Promote Each Other). But something about him reminds me of a guy who was an awful dork in high school and is now exacting some weird revenge and he has the whole Computer Club behind him.
Then he keeps a low profile, except for the whole Moonite/Aqua Teen/Terror scare thing, when he came out with Mumbles Menino to tell us all that we should all play nice. I am sure that in reality he must have sounded much more authoritative, but all the soundbites they used made him sound like a 14 year-old with testosterone issues. (Together We Can Go Through Puberty)
Both papers are reporting on his plans to limit employers access to the criminal records of applicants. This is a tough one - on the one hand people who've paid the penalty typically deserve to the chance to put that behind them. But that kind of societal forgiveness applies really only to petty criminals. If you knew that your co-worker was a convicted murderer or rapist would you be comfortable working late with them? How about introducing this person to your family? Yeah, that's a tough one huh.
I am curious to see what happens next. Without a doubt the Herald will be diligent in reporting all the f*ck-ups he makes, while the Globe will unfailingly cut him generous amounts of slack and the truth as usual will go unreported.
Even if his campaign slogan was the mysterious: Together We Can
Which might mean Together We Can: ....Eat Cheese from a Can...... Do the Hokey Pokey........ Mess with Texas........ Drink Whiskey and Sing Shanties... who knows.
Anyway fortunately Boston is a two newspaper town, and we can now judge his first few months in office from two different points of view.
Currently the Boston Herald is reporting about all Gov'ner Deval's missteps, and there've been many. Firstly, he flies around the state in a helicopter (Together We Can Heat The World!) which as far as I can tell hasn't yet been picked up by the Boston Globe.
For the record, Deval is the Globe's Golden Boy. They aren't going to stoop to report on the high-flying Gov - unless of course her name was Governor Jane Swift. But then she was a Republican and you know how the Globe caaaaan't staaaaand those awful Republicans! (Together We Can Elect Someone We Prefer)
Then he appoints all his friends - which is typical of every governor (Together We Can Promote Each Other). But something about him reminds me of a guy who was an awful dork in high school and is now exacting some weird revenge and he has the whole Computer Club behind him.
Then he keeps a low profile, except for the whole Moonite/Aqua Teen/Terror scare thing, when he came out with Mumbles Menino to tell us all that we should all play nice. I am sure that in reality he must have sounded much more authoritative, but all the soundbites they used made him sound like a 14 year-old with testosterone issues. (Together We Can Go Through Puberty)
Both papers are reporting on his plans to limit employers access to the criminal records of applicants. This is a tough one - on the one hand people who've paid the penalty typically deserve to the chance to put that behind them. But that kind of societal forgiveness applies really only to petty criminals. If you knew that your co-worker was a convicted murderer or rapist would you be comfortable working late with them? How about introducing this person to your family? Yeah, that's a tough one huh.
I am curious to see what happens next. Without a doubt the Herald will be diligent in reporting all the f*ck-ups he makes, while the Globe will unfailingly cut him generous amounts of slack and the truth as usual will go unreported.
Happy Valentime's Day Everyone!
There are plenty of people out there who disparage Valentine's Day as a Hallmark holiday that applies only to love-birds, marrieds, couples, and so on.
Personally I see Valentine's Day as a day to think about all the people I love and to be happy that they are in my life. If you are reading this, it probably means you too.
Happy Valentines Day Good Lookin'!
Personally I see Valentine's Day as a day to think about all the people I love and to be happy that they are in my life. If you are reading this, it probably means you too.
Happy Valentines Day Good Lookin'!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Bubbles, Bubbles Everywhere.
I read an interesting article today on NYT.com: This Expansion Looks Familiar
It got me thinking about the various bubbles I've witnessed over the past couple of years.
Back in 1995-ish saw the start of the IPO craze.
Which started to gather steam at about the same time that everyone suddenly got electronic mail. It was right around the time that everyone finally threw out their Telex machines and switched from thermal fax paper to plain paper - no more curly faxes!
The IPO Influenza was great until everyone tried to cash in on it. Suddenly every jackass with access to a computer was setting up an E*Trade account and buying up wads of WorldCom and Enron stock.
Then there was the Antiques Roadshow explosion. It used to be that you would go to flea markets and to the Goodwill and buy crap for your crappy apartment for pennies.
Soon people started showing up on Antiques Roadshow with a brass pony they paid $2 for at the Goodwill just to find out that it was really a gold Tibetan warrior horse from the 6th century and worth about $48,000,000.
Martha Stewart helped fuel this frenzy by featuring in her magazine lovely flea market finds transformed into useful household objects. Suddenly chipped plates and paintings of woeful clowns went from a buck a piece to $50 bucks a pop. And we were being urged to hang that plate on the wall rather than actually use it.
(It's also important to note that Martha was eventually convicted of being a day trader jackass and served a little time)
With all these object d'art turning up at every yard sale, flea market, church sale, the next wave was the home buying craze. All this crap had to go somewhere!
At that time there were housing deals to be had for sure! People began fixing and flipping homes faster than a spatula at a pancake breakfast. However, like the IPO/stock market, the flipper market was quickly flooded with jackasses - buyers and sellers.
Now some people are waking up with a major homeowners hangover, in many cases compounded by interest only loans. And while lots of people are praying for a major market downturn so that they can finally buy something, it really just looks like the only places to be affected by a real estate bust are the crappy places that no one really wants anyway.
You see that trend in the stock market too.
I am noticing that things are coming full circle. It used to be that VW had the ads featuring geeks being clever and hip. Now it's Apple flogging their Mac in a similar fashion - only MUCH more annoying and not at all clever or hip.
I can't wait to see what comes next!
It got me thinking about the various bubbles I've witnessed over the past couple of years.
Back in 1995-ish saw the start of the IPO craze.
Which started to gather steam at about the same time that everyone suddenly got electronic mail. It was right around the time that everyone finally threw out their Telex machines and switched from thermal fax paper to plain paper - no more curly faxes!
The IPO Influenza was great until everyone tried to cash in on it. Suddenly every jackass with access to a computer was setting up an E*Trade account and buying up wads of WorldCom and Enron stock.
Then there was the Antiques Roadshow explosion. It used to be that you would go to flea markets and to the Goodwill and buy crap for your crappy apartment for pennies.
Soon people started showing up on Antiques Roadshow with a brass pony they paid $2 for at the Goodwill just to find out that it was really a gold Tibetan warrior horse from the 6th century and worth about $48,000,000.
Martha Stewart helped fuel this frenzy by featuring in her magazine lovely flea market finds transformed into useful household objects. Suddenly chipped plates and paintings of woeful clowns went from a buck a piece to $50 bucks a pop. And we were being urged to hang that plate on the wall rather than actually use it.
(It's also important to note that Martha was eventually convicted of being a day trader jackass and served a little time)
With all these object d'art turning up at every yard sale, flea market, church sale, the next wave was the home buying craze. All this crap had to go somewhere!
At that time there were housing deals to be had for sure! People began fixing and flipping homes faster than a spatula at a pancake breakfast. However, like the IPO/stock market, the flipper market was quickly flooded with jackasses - buyers and sellers.
Now some people are waking up with a major homeowners hangover, in many cases compounded by interest only loans. And while lots of people are praying for a major market downturn so that they can finally buy something, it really just looks like the only places to be affected by a real estate bust are the crappy places that no one really wants anyway.
You see that trend in the stock market too.
I am noticing that things are coming full circle. It used to be that VW had the ads featuring geeks being clever and hip. Now it's Apple flogging their Mac in a similar fashion - only MUCH more annoying and not at all clever or hip.
I can't wait to see what comes next!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Will you be my Valentine?
One of my favorite artists ever is the one and only
She is the person who sees hearts everywhere and what is not to love about someone who has that talent!
Check out her website for more fab photos: Hearts Happen
Currently her work is on display at the Red Dot Gallery in Dorchester and at the Boston Cheese Cellar in Roslindale.
Her cards are ideally suited to this time of year **wink**wink** however if you are so inclined she also does custom card orders.
*@*@ Kristin Mallery *@*@.
She is the person who sees hearts everywhere and what is not to love about someone who has that talent!
Check out her website for more fab photos: Hearts Happen
Currently her work is on display at the Red Dot Gallery in Dorchester and at the Boston Cheese Cellar in Roslindale.
Her cards are ideally suited to this time of year **wink**wink** however if you are so inclined she also does custom card orders.
Random Funny Sh*t
I am sort of trying to clean out my overflowing email in-box.
How's it going? Eh, not so much.
I keep coming across funny links people have sent me over time.
Like this one from Boston.com: it is a picture my Evil Twin sent me and I concur that a rabbit with a pancake on its head is pretty hilarious.
How's it going? Eh, not so much.
I keep coming across funny links people have sent me over time.
Like this one from Boston.com: it is a picture my Evil Twin sent me and I concur that a rabbit with a pancake on its head is pretty hilarious.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
My funny Valentine
The other night I had a very vivid dream that I was married to Rick Rubin.
Huh?
I have no clue at all about this one at all.
Other than having "Brass Monkey" on my MP3 player, I have no real recollection as to how on earth he made his way into my subconscious.
But interestingly we have the same birthday, 10 years apart.
Huh?
I have no clue at all about this one at all.
Other than having "Brass Monkey" on my MP3 player, I have no real recollection as to how on earth he made his way into my subconscious.
But interestingly we have the same birthday, 10 years apart.
Fisticuffs - the Car Alarm Saga Continues
Ok so now the sign is gone* - ripped off by the owner I presume.
Who is now engaged in a shouting match with two other neighbors about the six tone alarm.
I don't think he is going to win this one.
In fact I think this may result in fisticuffs!
*see previous post.
Who is now engaged in a shouting match with two other neighbors about the six tone alarm.
I don't think he is going to win this one.
In fact I think this may result in fisticuffs!
*see previous post.
8:15pm
The car alarm is STILL going off.
At least I am not the only pissed off person on the street.
Someone else has put a sign on the front windshield that reads:
"pls steal this car"
At least I am not the only pissed off person on the street.
Someone else has put a sign on the front windshield that reads:
"pls steal this car"
Dear Reader - It's been nice knowing you!
Currently there is a car outside of my house with a six tone alarm going off.
It's been going off for an hour and a half now.
In about six more tones I am going to out there and SMASH that alarm to death.
It's been going off for an hour and a half now.
In about six more tones I am going to out there and SMASH that alarm to death.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Knee Deep in the Hoopla
The other night - well the other ages ago night anyway - I was out with a few of my people including My Favorite Amy and Cheap Thrills Rob.
Let me just say that hanging out with My Favorite Amy and Cheap Thrills Rob is like smoking crack - one freebase hit is all you need to want more. I never laugh as much as I do when I hang out with them. In Shamrag speak that makes them "ohmigodf*ckin'funny!"
But anyway that particular night I mentioned that Starship's "We Built This City" was voted the worst song ever recorded by someone, probably on VH-1.
And indeed it is a super-sucky song.
So I mention this and Cheap Thrills Rob blurts out in a sort of sing-song "KNEE DEEP IN THE HOOPLA"
Ok, try saying that line out loud.
I realize that KDITH is the album title, as well as a line in the song, but it is just so totally ridiculous it makes me laugh like a five year old at a poop joke.
What brings this up now? Well this morning when my radio alarm went off, guess what the line of that song was playing?
Yep!
KNEE DEEP IN THE HOOPLA
*next time the Muddy Rudders play, I am SO requesting "We Built this City"!!!!
Let me just say that hanging out with My Favorite Amy and Cheap Thrills Rob is like smoking crack - one freebase hit is all you need to want more. I never laugh as much as I do when I hang out with them. In Shamrag speak that makes them "ohmigodf*ckin'funny!"
But anyway that particular night I mentioned that Starship's "We Built This City" was voted the worst song ever recorded by someone, probably on VH-1.
And indeed it is a super-sucky song.
So I mention this and Cheap Thrills Rob blurts out in a sort of sing-song "KNEE DEEP IN THE HOOPLA"
Ok, try saying that line out loud.
I realize that KDITH is the album title, as well as a line in the song, but it is just so totally ridiculous it makes me laugh like a five year old at a poop joke.
What brings this up now? Well this morning when my radio alarm went off, guess what the line of that song was playing?
Yep!
KNEE DEEP IN THE HOOPLA
*next time the Muddy Rudders play, I am SO requesting "We Built this City"!!!!
Friday, February 09, 2007
Two inches - better than no inches!
According to the balding weatherman on Channel 7 we've only had 2 inches of snow this entire winter.
Probably because it's been too freakin' cold to snow!
But it's better than the 100+ inches they got in upstate New York.
Blech!
Probably because it's been too freakin' cold to snow!
But it's better than the 100+ inches they got in upstate New York.
Blech!
Anna Nicole Stuns a Nation. STUNS!
Far be it from me to mock the dead, but......
Can you believe all the attention that poor old Anna Nicole is generating?
It's as bizarre as her ramblings!
Have your seen the clip of her at a boxing match about a month ago? The one where they ask her what she thought of the match? Barely able to remain upright, her slow drawl reply was: Heeeeeeeeee kicccccccccked buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut.
With the amount to coverage it's getting I am almost expecting Prezzie Bush to declare a month of mourning, give her a state funeral.
The nightly news began with coverage of her death last night and again tonight - the whole first five minutes were devoted to it. News anchors (with straight faces!!) have been referring to her as America's favorite Playboy Playmate.
I will admit that I was surprised to hear she died, but it was more of a "last person I would have thought of" kind of surprise.
In retrospect, and according to the E! True Hollywood Story, it seems like her life was a bit of a train wreck. And come to think of it, I am also surprised that Danny Bonaduce is still alive.
Hmm.
And now ZaZa Gabor's husband is saying that he was Anna's secret part-time lov-vah. (ew! ew! ew! ick! ick! ick!)
Oh for crying OUT LOUD! Could this saga get anymore Jerry Springer?
I dowdit.
Can you believe all the attention that poor old Anna Nicole is generating?
It's as bizarre as her ramblings!
Have your seen the clip of her at a boxing match about a month ago? The one where they ask her what she thought of the match? Barely able to remain upright, her slow drawl reply was: Heeeeeeeeee kicccccccccked buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut.
With the amount to coverage it's getting I am almost expecting Prezzie Bush to declare a month of mourning, give her a state funeral.
The nightly news began with coverage of her death last night and again tonight - the whole first five minutes were devoted to it. News anchors (with straight faces!!) have been referring to her as America's favorite Playboy Playmate.
I will admit that I was surprised to hear she died, but it was more of a "last person I would have thought of" kind of surprise.
In retrospect, and according to the E! True Hollywood Story, it seems like her life was a bit of a train wreck. And come to think of it, I am also surprised that Danny Bonaduce is still alive.
Hmm.
And now ZaZa Gabor's husband is saying that he was Anna's secret part-time lov-vah. (ew! ew! ew! ick! ick! ick!)
Oh for crying OUT LOUD! Could this saga get anymore Jerry Springer?
I dowdit.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
See you later alligator
When I moved to da 'hood back in 1998, the first person I met was Muriel, followed shortly after by her hubby Mr. T.
For some reason I could never call him by his first name.
Anyway, I am sad to say that Mr. T. passed away on January 31.
I am really going to miss seeing him on the street. He and Muriel have been married since forever, and you know he used to wash her car every sunny weekend and flirt like mad with anyone who got within 10 feet of him.
He used to go out on the town with Muriel in a suit he'd had since about 1968, all checks and shiny leather shoes. A real old school dude.
It would have been so nice to have had one last smile & wave from him.
For some reason I could never call him by his first name.
Anyway, I am sad to say that Mr. T. passed away on January 31.
I am really going to miss seeing him on the street. He and Muriel have been married since forever, and you know he used to wash her car every sunny weekend and flirt like mad with anyone who got within 10 feet of him.
He used to go out on the town with Muriel in a suit he'd had since about 1968, all checks and shiny leather shoes. A real old school dude.
It would have been so nice to have had one last smile & wave from him.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
One thing I would never do voluntarily
I sort of love the first few weeks of American Idol - the audition phase.
It's a guilty pleasure to watch people make complete buffoons of themselves while trying to sing some random Celine Dion song.
Please, anyone who chooses a Celine Dion song just brings it on themselves!
But tonight they had two cousins audition. One guy went in and sang/butchered Amazing Grace, thanked the judges for their time, and then went to leave - clearly he knew he sucked.
And just before he got to the door he turned to the judges and said "I just have to do this for the cameras ok" and proceeded to pretend shout that he was pissed and of course the judges are all laughing at this.
So then his cousin went in and was all tough acting, but then he sang really well and made it through. It was pretty funny.
Ugh, I can only deal with this once a year.
It's a guilty pleasure to watch people make complete buffoons of themselves while trying to sing some random Celine Dion song.
Please, anyone who chooses a Celine Dion song just brings it on themselves!
But tonight they had two cousins audition. One guy went in and sang/butchered Amazing Grace, thanked the judges for their time, and then went to leave - clearly he knew he sucked.
And just before he got to the door he turned to the judges and said "I just have to do this for the cameras ok" and proceeded to pretend shout that he was pissed and of course the judges are all laughing at this.
So then his cousin went in and was all tough acting, but then he sang really well and made it through. It was pretty funny.
Ugh, I can only deal with this once a year.
Bye Bye SatanMobile
I hardly knew ye................
Sad as it is, the mighty blue SatanMobile is finally going to be towed away tomorrow.
**sniff**sniff**
I know that I really shouldn't be sad to see him go, but I have to admit I kinda am.
All the times in the summer when it was a 100 degrees out, stuck in X-way traffic, with the heat broken to ON....
Beinging so sweaty on the plush blue velour interior that you emerge from the car covered in blue fuzz looking like the Cookie Monster....
Strangers trying to give you beer on the highway out of pity...
Who wouldn't miss that?
Don't get me wrong, I love the Champagne Supernova.
But she'll never be the Satanmobile.
PS: the SatanMobile is being donated to WGBH in thanks for all those years of Sesame Street, Electric Company, and Zoom.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Why beans+humans=balmy winter!
It seems that scientists are just now coming around to saying that it might be possible that humans might possibly be the possible source of global warming.
DUH!
Even I knew that and I f*cking failed science! Twice!
DUH!
Even I knew that and I f*cking failed science! Twice!
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