You heard it here first

As some of you faithful readers may know, I recently had dealings with U-Haul. In a nutshell, some kids in a van came around a corner too hard and smashed my bumper off.

So now I have the most expensive bumper in Boston because secondhand sh*tbox bumpers are hard to find.

Anyway at the end of this ball of red tape I found out a number of things that make me think that there is something seriously fishy going on at U-Haul:

a) After all the paperwork had been processed, the claims person at U-Hauls insurance company told me that the van had suddenly been reported stolen. Hmmmm, after more than a month?

b) all U-Hauls (at the Mass Ave place anyway) are registered and licensed in Arizona. Hmmmm, that can't be legal. I didn't think vehicles could be registered out of state for that long, just think of all that potential revenue. Surely the Registry would want all that money in their coffers instead....

c) the vehicle was reported stolen like three weeks after it was in an accident. Now that just stinks like a 5 day old herring.

I think that at some future date there is going to be some big bust and we're going to find out that U-Haul is just a big front for something illegal.

And probably not something interesting like knock-off designer purses or jeans or cute shoes.

Remember, you read it here first!

Candygram for Mongo!

Blazing Saddles is one of my favorite movies of all times. I first saw it when I was probably 10 or so (it came on Betamax!) and that is when I first wanted to be Lily Von Schtupp.

For the life of me I could not figure out why my parents wouldn't let me go out at Halloween dressed like her. Luckily for me now that I am old I can do whatever I want. Like dress up like a naughty German saucepot whenever I feel like it.

Hmmm err oooo well....

Here is a bit of video (pretend it's fabulous Betamax!) goodness to brighten up your day. You are welcome! And uh check your volume.

I know I am going to get a ticket for this....

Seemingly overnight in the South End hundreds of little pedestrian crossing markers have popped up in every crosswalk. Personally I think these are a great idea. As a 65% pedestrian I know that pretty much theonly way to cross Tremont has been with speed and prayer.

The only place these flags haven't been placed are in the crosswalks at traffic lights. There the theory is that pedestrians cross when they have the little white walk figure. That's the theory anyway. Hundreds upon thousands of pedestrians observe this theory, and in general walk in concert with the flow of all traffic - bicycle, vehicle, animal...

However certain South Enders have a overly inflated sense of entitlement and so lots of them cross s-l-o-w-l-y when they don't have the light and try to stare down drivers to make them stop and reassure the whole universe that they are still the single most important thing since sliced bread.

(I am sure that other Enders do this too, but my recent experience has been with the South type)

How that doesn't get more people killed I will never know.

Sure makes me want to gun for them though!

Look to the right

Under "Check It Out Yo" there is now a link to my photos on a map!

I take a lot of photos.

Then those pictures sit around idly on my computer doing nothing but taking up space and giving themselves silly names like 1009992DXV.pic and now I am going to put them on a map to give them something useful to do.

I've gotten about 20 up. That leaves about 987 to go.

*sigh*

Here is a sample, plus proof that gas was cheap once.

One More Pointy Head

While I am curious to see if Brig-Brig & Tom's little quarter-tot has a pointy head too, I am just as curious to see how long Gisele sticks around.

She must either be on some seriously strong babystopper pills or she doesn't ever drop the nickel she keeps between her knees.

Because there is no way Tom is going to ruin her figure with a hit & run impregnation.

I think that now that the QB baby is a reality (not just a scary & painful looking bump screwed onto Brig-Brig's tummy) it's going to be hard for Tom to score a touchdown - *nudge*nudge*wink*wink....

Why I sometimes can't sleep at night.

There are two things in this world that ruin a person for life.

One is the fast food french fry. "They" lightly coat them with crack and once you have one you will forever crave one more for the rest of your life.

There really is no point in denying this. It is a scientific fact. Heck, it's probably even a mathematical fact.

The second thing that ruins a person for life occurs when a person is about 7 years old and some kindly teacher says: "The universe is more vast than the human brain can comprehend and no one can ever even define how big it truly is. How small do you think that makes you?"

What?!?

So every now and then, probably for the rest of time, I will occasionally accidentally keep myself up too late at night wondering how big exactly is the universe and if it is that infinite and the size is actually undefinable then isn't it weird that we can say for certain how small the smallest thing is but maybe we really can't say for certain what the smallest thing is because we can't squint that hard?

And that in the relative scale of things as I know them - a light year is BIG, which means I am small, and which then means that theoretically Angelina Jolie should be invisible, which in turn means I can stop dieting!

Ahhhh, and that is usually the point where I fall soundly asleep!

Dudley Square

For the past few weeks my walk to work has taken me through Dudley Square and I have to say that everyday I see something interesting that I missed the in the days previous.

Dudley Square is lively in a way that reminds me of some of the places I've seen in the Caribbean & West Indies and visually interesting in an old Boston brick & painted signs way. There are lots of cool faded old painted ads on tucked away walls - if I get a chance I will try to get some photos posted.

At lunchtime I've been hitting up the various eateries in the area - Arizona's for pizza, Kennedy's for chicken, Stash's for salad, and it's all been good. Although in the interest of saving money I am trying to bring my lunch everyday.

The old (and falling down at an alarming rate) Ferdinand's furniture store is allegedly going to be turned into a city office and hopefully the independent shops will get more business from them. There is an independent pharmacy that competes with the Walgreens down the road and there is a Payless and a Foot Locker but for the most part the shops are small and locally owned.

Plus now that Tropical Foods is on my way home I never have to go to Stupid Stop & Shop again! Not only that, but they carry THREE brands of burnt sugar! Yay for Black Cake fans!

Two Juvvies in Tents!

So last night the Evil Twin and I went to the pre-season Pats game versus the Titans.

I managed to cajole the sis into taking the train (no sitting in traffic! cheaper than parking!) and off we went to Gillette courtesy of the MBTA.

Let me also just say that the only reason we were going was because the weatherman said it wasn't going to rain.

But of course as soon as we start walking across the parking lot we begin to feel the splat splat splat of fat raindrops! Gah! Stupid idiot weatherman!

And not only that but there were two women walking next to us saying how when ever they went to a game it rained. I was like "bitches go HOME" but whatever.

Well let me tell you, it rained from the minute we got to the stadium to the end of the first quarter. Blech!

Eventually we broke down and bought a pair of flimsy ponchos and headed out to our seats. After a long stretch of water torture, we headed back up to the concourse to watch from under the overhang.

Finally the rain ended and we were back in our seats by the second quarter.

We kept the ponchos on though. Which kind of started to give off a distinct tent smell.

Anyway, Pats didn't win.

However there were some spectacular tackles (one by Junior Seau comes to mind - dude jumped the guy!) and anyway having to wait out the rain on the concourse is always a great excuse to eat cheese fries!

GO PATS

Patriots v. Titans

Ahhhh the Evil Twin still loves me because tomorrow night she is taking me to the Pats pre-season versus the Titans.

My love for the Patriots is purely physical - there is no logic or strategy involved here.

Just walking into the stadium is a visceral experience for me - the music (AC/DC what else), the fat cups of beer, the lights, the militia, the diversity of the crowd...

This is SO not a baseball experience.

I can't wait.

I love football.

GO PATS!

The Cat Shat

My neighborhood is overrun by feral cats.

All the neighbors got together to have them neutered & spayed and that was the one kitty caca free week in my backyard.

*Sigh*

I would love trap them all and drop them off out in Holyoke, but sadly I just really don't have the time.
(This scheme also includes the two cats that actually belong to people - if you have a cat but can't care for it properly, off it goes to Holyoke!)

Anyway I am first going to try some non-toxic methods to keep the cats away.

Someone suggested that I put out a litter box, but I don't want to be the sh*t station for the whole neighborhood.

Another suggestion was to sprinkle cat food on the area of excrement, the theory being that cats won't eat where they crap, and quite frankly who would. But again, I don't want to encourage them to be there in the first place.

I looked up a few solutions, mostly involving hot pepper which just seems cruel and useless. One idea is to sprinkle the area with grated Irish Spring soap - the shreds of which made my yard smell, well, spring fresh I guess and which puffed up weirdly in the rain.












That kept the cats away for about a week.

But now they are back. And full of poo that they leave for me like little stinky dumplings.

Anyone have any other suggestions? Preferable not of the shoot them, poison them, put them in a bag and toss into the river ilk please!

Fun Times Ahead

The reason I haven't posted anything is because I got a new job.

I feel like I have been learning to speak a new language.

Phew!

The Most Annoying Man on Public Television

If I worked at PBS I would definitely implement a new fund raising strategy.

Their current one SUCKS.

About every three months or so the folks over at WGBH run a fund raising week.

I am not sure which is more irritating -

Scheduling something really interesting just to interrupt every few minutes with donation requests.

OR

One more night in Vienna with Andre Rieu.