Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Hmmm. I am not sure THAT is the reaction they were looking for....

Check out the "reaction" to Myra Kraft's passing on today:

In case you can't read it:

I mean, considering how the actress Megan Fox allegedly got fired for comparing director Michael Bay to Hitler, it's kinda rude to post a link to a Megan Fox SexClip in reaction to the passing of a tireless fundraiser who also happened to be of the Jewish faith. 

Just goes to show you that people really will say things online that they wouldn't likely say face to face. I mean, I am pretty certain that DenboerMasakoAH wouldn't go to the funeral to sell porn to the Kraft family. 

Although when it comes to the nerve of some people, I've been wrong before.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Spiral thinking....

Sometimes I read about something and from there my thoughts spiral out to absurd extremes.

Like when I read about the last space shuttle launch. I thought about how small the astronauts are in comparison to space. And what is space? What is our place in it? Where does it end? And if I can't imagine an end to the universe, how small does that make me? Or an ant for that matter. Is the universe imaginary? And really, what is the meaning of time?

See? It's sh*t like this that typically spirals out of control right at bedtime.

Well, today's gem comes from this article: What's in your navel?

First of all, who isn't curious about what lurks in there. And second of all I am definitely going to be A LOT more diligent about washing it out from now on.

But then my thoughts spiraled out from there and I wound up comparing belly buttons to va-jay-jays.

Oh yes I did.

Let me explain. First of all it occurred to me that most people (I think most do) use the words "belly button". We say it without thinking - belly button, bellybutton, and it kind of rolls off the tongue without notice.

However when you stop to think about it, it's a ridiculous description. A belly........ button? I would understand it more if everyone had an "outie" but this is not the case and in any case navels don't resemble buttons.

This is a button:

This is a navel:

And this is what I am talking about:

If you push the hole left behind by the umbilical cord like a button, it feels weird. Try it and see. Push it like an elevator button. Now smell your finger. That stink means bacteria.

Back to the belly button. Since most people say belly button instead of navel, I thought what other euphemisms for body parts are commonly used? Ears, hair, head, face, lips, eyes, chin, legs, arms, elbows, hands, fingers... we say without hesitation. But then we say belly button instead of navel, vajayjay for vagina, and peeper for penis.

So what I want to know is when the navel got lumped with vagina and penis?


Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Boooom goes the sidewalk....

Walked past an unseen fire that sent noxious smoke billowing out through a sidewalk grate today. A big cloud of smoke would billow out from a grate in the sidewalk after something Down There made a big BOOM.

This is why I hate walking over those sidewalk grates. You just never know when the smoke monster will start farting.

Smoke dies down.

Then another BOOM and more smoke

Then another lull before the next BOOM

Ok so not as thrilling as a triffid with an erection, but those BOOMS were pretty scary sounding.

And how was YOUR commute?

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Remember that plant from the other day......

This one here.

I was subsequently informed that it was a mullein plant, aka a "toilet paper planet" on account of its Charmin-like leaves.

But I still think it's a triffid.

Someone took the time to try and break it.

But it, uh, managed to stay erect.

And also, I have another word for this plant, and it's not "toilet paper plant"....