Thursday, March 31, 2011

I think there is another, simpler, word for this.

One reason, among several, why I no longer possess the will to continue the "whole online dating thing" is polyamory.

Poly-huh-wha? you are probably thinking. Yeah, you don't want to know. Oh, well, maybe you do. I wish I didn't.

According to the fount of all knowledge online*, Wikipedia, polyamory is:

the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Polyamory, often abbreviated to poly, is sometimes described as consensual, ethical, or responsible non-monogamy. 

However most people (men, in my case), aren't always upfront about this aspect of their life. Which is totally annoying.

There is nothing weirder in my life than meeting a guy out for a drink who then asks me if I am interested in meeting his wife because they are looking to bring a third person into their relationship.

No thank you.

Because you know what:

A) That sounds a little Big Love-ish to me. And yeah, I know there is a difference between polyamory and polygamy, but when the couple in question is already married.... it gets confusing.

B) No part of my dating profile indicated that I was open to it. In fact I pretty much stated that I am monogamous, completely & all the time. I am half Old World French which means that it is a given that should I stab you in a jealous rage over another woman, it's nothing more than a crime of passion and really, those cannot be helped sometimes. Eh, tant pis.

C) It has never not sounded creepy to me when a guy tells me what his wife/partner is looking for, from me. Well, how about you re-read B.

Let me just say one thing here: I don't care who and how many people you are in a non-monogamous intimate relationship with, it just isn't happening with me. But if that is your thing, good luck.

Also I think that most poly folk are not looking online for another partner, it's just that the internet has sort of morphed into this weird online candy store of relationships. Maybe it was always like that. But stuff that normally people wouldn't do in real life, they will try out online. That would explain avatars I guess.

So I am giving the online thing a rest. I am done with Mr. Goodbar looking for Almond Joy. My and my, uh, Peanut Butter Cups are going to give it a try out in the non-online world.

Wish me luck.

Oh and if all the poly, married, engaged, involved, etc, folk could somehow mark themselves with a big X for my reference, that would be GREAT. Thanks!**

**Also sarcasm

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Brushing my teeth & thinking...

This morning my thought process jumped on the Facebook-Reunion-Sex-Childbirth train.

I realize that this will immediately get some people thinking that I've got a big "Whoopsie! :)" revelation coming, but I don't.

Let me explain.

I was invited (sort of) via Facebook to a reunion.

Which got me thinking about reunions and how there is much about those years I would like to forget.

But also how I sort of half imagine what a good reunion would be like: it would be awesome and we'd all magically be 20 years younger (looking at least, please!).

Which got me thinking that imagining things being magically better is a bit like anticipating having sex with someone for the first time (yours, theirs, as a couple, whatever), how it never is as awesome as you imagine it will be that first go around.

Still confused? Yeah me too. Morning was a long time ago. Where was I going with this....

I guess it's just that most people imagine that things were better than they really were, even if the reality is: school sucked, sex is ALWAYS awkward the first time with a new partner, and from what I've heard, childbirth is f*cking painful.

I suppose that the point I was brushing my teeth toward is that memory glosses sh*t over, or forgets it entirely, out of necessity. It has to so that people will continue to enroll their kids in school, so that you have sex with a person until you figure it out how to make it awesome, and so once the baby pops out your brain washes itself clean with a tidal wave of endorphins (or something) so you forget you just pushed a watermelon through your nostril and consequently do it again.

And then it occurred to me that the best thing about being an adult (aside from eating Lucky Charms anytime I please) is that I don't care anymore about the people who were a**holes to me in school, even better I don't have to go to a reunion where my childish insecurities could show up like a poop in a punch bowl, and not only are the worst years behind me, but my grown-up life is pretty terrific because it is my own.

That, and I am now free to tell people to f*ck the f*ck off if I want and no one can call my folks and get me trouble. Yes!

Being an adult ROCKS! Although I am still not convinced that that was my original point this morning....

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Should have held on a little longer.

You know how Yankees are, keeping everything just in case - bits of string, squares of flattened foil, bread bags....

Well, these folks should have kept this.... :

Taken on March 11, 2011 - 64 days after Epiphany

.... in case they need to shovel out a space after this:

Click Here for the full story

All I can say is that I for one would fricking LOVE a snow day.

And then immediately after that Spring.  A hot and lovely spring!

Not to belabor the point, but...

I sold the Champagne Supernova for $400.

Bye Bye Flapjack!

Oh yeah.

Which is even MORE oh yeah when you factor in the fact that 4 (maybe 5) years ago I paid $500 for it.

Now I am car-less and could careless. I have Zipcar and honestly there really isn't too many places I go in a week that I can't walk/T to.